Monkey's Dad's definitions

Breaking Mad

A long-awaited collaboration from the creators of Mad Men and Breaking Bad - Matthew Weiner and Vince Gilligan. Millions of homebound fans, desperate for a new binge, are hoping TV history will be made.

Don Draper sees the writing on the wall - a third of the storefronts on Madison Avenue are vacant. Realizing that in Covid-depressed America there is not much left to advertise, not much to buy and little reason to buy it, he goes in search of Jesse Pinkman, and the temptation of Breaking Mad.

by Monkey's Dad December 27, 2020

Reviral Meeting

A premature gathering, reviving the spread of coronavirus.

She was so done with lockdown. Everyone was heading for the church and she was going to attend that reviral meeting and praise His name.

by Monkey's Dad May 3, 2020

HM

Her Majesty / High Maintenance. "Allow me to inform your uppity blonde self that we ain't even got no damn grapefruit juice to splash in your damn Sex on the Beach and same applies to whatever your pet monkey drinkin' too."

"What would HM request we place before her refined palate this morning? Hmm?"

by Monkey's Dad November 23, 2022

Disturbin' Dictionary

A compendium of definitions for all the words you do not want to think about in a time of crisis.

Pandemic, contagion, death rate, infections, coronation, coronaviral, isolution... they kept appearing in the Disturbin' Dictionary when he was just looking for a laugh.

by Monkey's Dad March 21, 2020

Please! Thank you!

The words spoken by George Floyd to Derek Chauvin and his fellow officers as Floyd was being arrested and killed on May 25, 2020.

"Please! Thank you!" said Floyd, as one of the officers offered to get into the back seat of the squad car with him, after Floyd expressed his extreme claustrophobia. "Please!" said Floyd, as Chauvin knelt on his neck, suffocating the life from him, "Please! I can't breathe!"

by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2021

homebody

Any human being lucky enough to have a home.

In 2020, most people living on earth, confined to their home in an effort to slow the global COVID-19 pandemic.

Once a girl-about-town, today she had become a homebody, like everyone.

by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020

Tale of Whoa!

A story of compound misfortunes so unlikely that the listener responds with terminal skepticism.

He listened respectfully at first, filled with compassion, tears forming in his eyes as she narrated having been abandoned as an infant, left in a dumpster high in the Sierra-Nevadas, rescued by dumpster-diving circus riders who put her, untethered, on the back of a jumping stallion every night till she was sixteen. Years later, escaping one night off the coast of San Diego she waded into the ocean, hoping to end it all, only to be netted by Tijuana shrimp fishermen who forced her to peel shrimp for years in a rickety boat, the best life she's ever known, before falling overboard in a hurricane and washing ashore in San Francisco at the precise moment an 7.4 earthquake hit. How she got to the Greyhound station in Sparks she was still unclear, and could he spare a hundred bucks to help her find her rightful family, whom, she believed, might at this moment be remorsefully searching for her on the outskirts of Death Valley. By now dry-eyed and stone-hearted, he reached into his wallet for a five, which he slipped into the outer pocket of her spangled handbag and, not looking back, hopped quickly onto his bus while she prattled on with her Tale of Whoa!

by Monkey's Dad July 6, 2021