Monkey's Dad's definitions

Isolationship

Long- or short-distance relationship between two people kept apart due to shelter-in-place constraints.

Their hot and heavy isolationship was getting weird, the limits of cyber romance coming clear. She lived three blocks away from him, they hadn't been able to see the other for two weeks, each of them trapped in their apartments.

by Monkey's Dad April 9, 2020

The full MTG

Delusional derangement worthy of Marjorie Taylor Greene. Craziness on par with believing that the Sandy Hook massacre was staged, that Trump is a Messiah sent by God to smite the Democratic child-killers lurking under the pizza parlor, and indeed that he "won" the election. To clarify; that Adam Lanza did not kill any children but that Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden regularly do so.

Have you spoken to Lauren recently? She's gone the full MTG.

by Monkey's Dad February 2, 2021

The Simpsonian Institution

A bright yellow, spiky-roofed museum on the Mall in Washington, celebrating the Lisa Simpson Presidency. As pre-cognitively laid out in the March 19, 2000 episode, 'Bart to the Future', Lisa has been elected and has moved into the Oval Office to clean up the mess left by President Trump.

On her lunch break, Jane would wander over to the Simpsonian Institution, dreaming of a country under President Lisa, with clean air and water, kindness to all people and animals, the return of ethics and honesty to government, and Mr. Burns in prison.

by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020

Urban Legend

In the near future, a fantastical story told by parents to children of what the word 'city' meant.

They sat at six-foot intervals to hear their favorite Urban Legend. They knew it was not real, yet it entertained them to imagine people walking the streets, crowding together to eat and drink and listen to music, where 'school' was a building kids went to, together.

by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020

Simultemporal

The nature of time as being simultaneous rather than sequential or linear. The experience of living time all at once, of past and future being equally present and equidistant.

The simultemporal experience was transformative, providing clarification of issues as diverse as the questions of free will and destiny, and the nature of death.

by Monkey's Dad September 18, 2019

minimal

Any mammal which has been shrunken by careful breeding, for maximum cuteness and portability.

"Why is that Guinea Pig on a leash?" she wondered, before coming close enough to see that it was a full-grown, two-pound minimal, the smallest dog she had ever seen. She had to have one.

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

WE CAN BREATHE

The collective exhalation of relief following the guilty verdicts in the trial of Derek Chauvin for the murder of George Floyd. Floyd's last words, I can't breathe, had become the mantra of injustice in a country where police killings of unarmed Black men are routine and have gone largely unpunished.

As the three verdicts were read - guilty - guilty - guilty - millions of Americans, across the spectrum of race, ethnicity and economic status, suddenly felt WE CAN BREATHE.

by Monkey's Dad April 21, 2021