Monkey's Dad's definitions
Anthem for our country, our democracy, for Covid victims and victims of police brutality, all gasping for air.
"Barely Breathing" was a 1996 hit song from singer-songwriter Duncan Sheik, now to be sung in protest, shouted in the streets, whispered at the bedsides of the dying.
"Barely Breathing" was a 1996 hit song from singer-songwriter Duncan Sheik, now to be sung in protest, shouted in the streets, whispered at the bedsides of the dying.
by Monkey's Dad July 13, 2020
Get the Barely Breathing mug.A stunningly inappropriate and thoughtless question often blurted toward a handicapped person, the only proper answer to which is "Don't ask".
"What happened to you?" asked the seemingly civilized man of the woman who was struggling mightily to take each halting step. Yet she needed no reminder of how hard it was to move, or of how many years she had been in pain. She was under no obligation to answer the moronic stranger, who in any event seemed to want no answer and quickly began prattling about his skiing accident, years ago, which he believed would be fascinating to a woman with a permanent handicap, but, please... don't ask.
by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2023
Get the What happened to you? mug.I can't wait for you to grow up
An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.
An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.
Again, her birthday, and again... turning twelve. What could he say? With steady fingers he texted "icwfytgu", secure in their shared understanding that she would remain twelve for the coming year, and for those to follow.
by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021
Get the icwfytgu mug.The misanthrope's currently-plausible excuse.
"We can't be too careful, can we?", he said, avoiding his friend's extended elbow and backing away. While everyone was doing it, he'd always done it, his antisocial distancing now conveniently disguised as responsible social distancing.
by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020
Get the antisocial distancing mug.A person coming of age in the coronaviral age, home-schooled, missing out on dating, beer, pot and every other rite of social passage.
Watching "Clueless", "Ladybird" and "Booksmart" while in lockdown, she yearned to experience the geeky teen years which were her birthright and hated-hated-hated being a dorky quaranteenager.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020
Get the Quaranteenager mug.As she logged in to her Tuesday morning creative writing seminar, she looked around at the Halls of Epidemia, which looked almost exactly like her bedroom.
by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020
Get the The Halls of Epidemia mug.Deriving gratification, sexual or otherwise, from exposing one's naked facial orifices, flirting with the risk to self and others of suffering, pain and death. Refusing to wear a mask in public, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Sadism and Maskochism combined.
Knowing he might be infecting other people, or that he might get infected, he strode barefaced into the crowd, feeling the thrill of public nakedness, thrilled by his sadomaskochism.
by Monkey's Dad June 12, 2020
Get the Sadomaskochism mug.