Monkey's Dad's definitions

sects axe

What religious dyslexics do with each other in the privacy of their bedroom.

They kept a diary detailing their devout if kinky sects axe, confident that if it were ever discovered, no one could decipher it.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

Noid

Clear-sighted, realistically unafraid. A condition which must necessarily exist in order for the condition of being para-noid to exist.

The only one at the party who had declined the marijuana, he did not have the munchies, did not find every utterance, no matter how inane, hysterically funny, he was more than ready to drive anyone and everyone home if need be, and he was suffering no delusions; absolutely no one was out to get him. While his friends may be paranoid, he was, in a word - noid.

by Monkey's Dad June 6, 2021

barf, barf, barf

When spoken aloud, a mature response to the sight of two people who love each other fearlessly.

Watching the ageless couple sitting in a chair meant for one, gazing into each other's eyes, stroking, kissing, laughing at things no one else could see or hear, she expressed her own joy eloquently, muttering, "barf, barf, barf".

by Monkey's Dad December 25, 2022

appearances matter

A wistful notion from the recent-yet-distant time when people saw each other.

Glancing into her closet, filled with lovingly-chosen clothing she no longer wore, slipping on her plastic coat, her mask and rubber gloves to go 'shopping', she recalled what her mother had taught her when she was young, that appearances matter, and wondered when it would be true again.

by Monkey's Dad May 14, 2020

vaccutemporal

An experience of life without time. The absence of a temporal dimension. An extension of simultemporal experience, in which past, present and future are equidistant and simultaneous.

Having grown accustomed to simultemporal experience - living time all at once, rather than sequentially - he was increasingly forced to acknowledge states which were vaccutemporal, wherein the sense of time in any form dissolved.

by Monkey's Dad August 7, 2021

pundemic

A highly infectious contagion in which unfortunate word games spread from one victim to another until the entire nearby population is groaning in pain.

Jack suddenly shouted, "Can February March? No, but April May", laughing uproarious at his own stellar wit. Stan replied, "Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy" smirking at his one-upsmanship, neither hearing the quiet groaning coming from each side of the table - a tragic symptom of the viral pundemic. It was irreversible. Sue chimed in, "Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak."

by Monkey's Dad June 8, 2021

9 minutes of silence

Observed by many, across America, to honor the life of George Floyd, murdered by asphyxiation.

In the sunlight of a spring afternoon, they stood together, side by side, and held a vigil - 9 minutes of silence - the time that George Floyd was pinned to the street and asphyxiated by the kneeling weight of a Minneapolis cop.

by Monkey's Dad June 2, 2020