Monkey's Dad's definitions

anxiety tornado

A sweeping, fast moving state of anxiety that arrives without warning and takes everything in its path with it.

He had made an offhand remark, a minor joke, but to her it incited an anxiety tornado, swirling, uprooting, splintering and lifting her self-worth and sense of security with it until she felt herself to be an emotionally wrecked trailer park.

by Monkey's Dad August 15, 2021

Last Woman on Earth

Effectively, the woman any man happens to be with, under lockdown, for the duration of the coronaviral era.

"You have complaints? Please, feel free to find someone else, because right now I may as well be the last woman on earth."

by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020

isolassitude

Lack of energy and mental fatigue from being alone.

After months of working from home, going nowhere and seeing no one, barely caring to get dressed, he felt crushing isolassitude.

by Monkey's Dad May 1, 2020

theatricoretical

An old-fashioned idea that a newly-released film would play in 'theaters' - places where people once congregated to experience laughter, joy, tears and fear together.

The movie's production budget had been huge, its theatrical release now only theatricoretical. It would be seen in the privacy and safety of people's homes, earning pennies on the dollar.

by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020

hookup

A quaint social custom of the early 21st century in which two strangers agreed to occupy the same room for a period of time. Presently unthinkable.

She could almost remember the last time she had been touched, it was a hookup, when she and the world were innocent and a stranger could be seen as an okay thing, not a possible death sentence.

by Monkey's Dad March 19, 2020

Covid's Metamorphoses

An epic poem, waiting to be written.

Chronicling the transformations of the world, from its creation to its breakdown, due to the coronavirus and the self-deification a Julius Caesar wannabe, Covid's Metamorphoses will be read in the 22nd Century as a charming fable of humanity as it once was.

by Monkey's Dad October 7, 2020

Hydroxycloroxquine

The bomb. A tablespoon of Clorox mixed with hydroxychloroquine.

If drinking Hydroxycloroxquine meant she could go back to the nail salon, she'd have a double.

by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2020