Monkey's Dad's definitions

congrenegation

Forbidden gathering of ten or more people.

Laws of congrenegation went into effect, in an effort to slow the spread of the virus.

by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020

empathology

The debilitating capacity to feel what another person is experiencing.

Although she herself was still healthy, safe and cared for, she had completely stopped eating, knowing how many others were hungry, isolated and suffering from the illness, immobilized by her empathology,

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

conspiracy theory

Literally - the idea of people breathing together.

Con=together. Spire=breathe.

She didn't want a respirator, didn't want to expire. Her inspiration was that once the pandemic passed she might breathe with other people, her conspiracy theory, and it filled her with hope.

by Monkey's Dad April 27, 2020

isopropyl alcoholism

Addiction to hand sanitizing, a common pandemic disorder.

He sanitized his hands after touching any item, even if it had been sitting undisturbed on his desk for years. 'You can never be too careful', he said aloud, every few minutes, in denial of his isopropyl alcoholism.

by Monkey's Dad April 25, 2020

A.I.2 Artificial Ignorance

The black sheep sibling of Artificial Intelligence, promiscuously spreading misinformation and calumny which can never be corrected, denied or retrieved, set in digital stone.

Although Jack was happily attached and leading a blameless life, he awakened one morning to the news that he was on Tinder, listed with a gender identity and sexual preference he had never actually heard of, was the target of several concurrently pending lawsuits, had been arrested for bestiality at the age of twelve, failed in his fifth attempt at getting a GED, declared bankruptcy twice, and, perhaps the greatest insult, had appended to his profile an unflattering photo of someone else with his exact name. All of this was out there forever. Forever, and it was sure to spread. There was no one to complain to. Nobody. Welcome to the age of A.I.2 Artificial Ignorance.

by Monkey's Dad September 12, 2023

Satan Nicholas

Saint Nicholas' sinister colleague, whose task is to deliver appropriate gifts to the less-than-good girls and boys on Christmas eve.

He awakened to the sound of a Harley landing on the roof - right on time - and man, had he prepared his list in hopes of a visit from Satan Nicholas. In an hour he'd run downstairs and find a Chucky doll, gift certificates to Tattoos-R-Us, the Vape store, and Murder-and-Mayhem Video Games. It pays to be bad, he mused. And next year he'd be worse.

by Monkey's Dad December 5, 2023

uncertain future

The truth, or illusion, that we cannot know what will happen next.

She felt the weight of her uncertain future, more than ever, unable to predict or imagine the world which awaited.

by Monkey's Dad May 12, 2020