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In the sunlight of a spring afternoon, they stood together, side by side, and held a vigil - 9 minutes of silence - the time that George Floyd was pinned to the street and asphyxiated by the kneeling weight of a Minneapolis cop.
by Monkey's Dad June 2, 2020
Get the 9 minutes of silence mug.She stared numbly through the rain coursing down her windshield, wondering if she were dreaming. There it really was, on the car in front of her, the truth of her life this year, the truth of everyone's life. 2020WTF.
by Monkey's Dad December 7, 2020
Get the 2020WTF mug.A highly infectious contagion in which unfortunate word games spread from one victim to another until the entire nearby population is groaning in pain.
Jack suddenly shouted, "Can February March? No, but April May", laughing uproarious at his own stellar wit. Stan replied, "Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy" smirking at his one-upsmanship, neither hearing the quiet groaning coming from each side of the table - a tragic symptom of the viral pundemic. It was irreversible. Sue chimed in, "Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak."
by Monkey's Dad June 8, 2021
Get the pundemic mug.A novel condition in which the sufferer looks upon approaching human beings as threats, just for breathing, and wants them to burn in hell.
What was this moron, this utter fool, coming toward her with his mouth covered and his fucking nostrils exposed?! He was human scum, a killer, and the sight of him filled her with revulsion. At one time she might have found him attractive. But now? Now she wanted to smash him, hard, but that would entail proximity, the last thing she'd ever want to share with another person. She knew she'd contracted The New Misanthropy, but it was a damn sight better than Covid.
by Monkey's Dad February 10, 2021
Get the The New Misanthropy mug.by Monkey's Dad April 18, 2020
Get the femoji mug.She had fallen for his whole 'I'm so kind to animals' thing. On their first date, happily sharing Impossible Burgers with him, she dropped her fork. At floor level, she saw his feet. "Hypocrite!" she screamed. Are those vegan leather? No! You are wearing meat loafers!" She grabbed her phone, unfriended him, and stalked off. Needing some comfort food, he signaled the waiter for a bacon cheeseburger.
by Monkey's Dad March 6, 2020
Get the meat loafers mug.A heated disagreement with oneself.
His desire to be famous and his need to be left alone had led him to this strange moment - on stage, in front of thousands of screaming fans, ready to walk off and go home, in a state of raging introversy.
by Monkey's Dad February 27, 2020
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