Monkey's Dad's definitions
A sexual deviant who derives pleasure from exposing his or her nostrils in public, wearing a mask over their mouth but under their nose.
As with other bodily orifices, it is presently taboo to expose one's nostrils in public. So naturally there is a new breed of Nasal Flasher, making eye contact, semi-naked, getting their kicks. They are often confused with the millions of total morons who do not understand that the nose and mouth are connected.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2021
Get the Nasal Flasher mug.A person able to move their limbs freely, to walk about their beloved cities, towns, beaches and parks. A person looking forward to same, if and when the coronavirus pandemic ends.
After days of forced isolation in his minuscule New York apartment, able to touch all four walls at once, he yearned to open the door, to hit the street, to walk, to run, to be a free range human.
by Monkey's Dad March 20, 2020
Get the Free Range Human mug.The murmured protestation of a woman being served an artfully prepared late-morning breakfast, in bed, with a monogrammed sterling spoon, under a velvet blanket, by a man whose one goal in life is her pleasure and comfort, meant to convey the disclaimer: "I am not a Jap".
Ianaj - obviously you have never known a real one - please bring me my glasses... turn the fan slightly toward the window... my phone... and what time is it?
by Monkey's Dad September 3, 2019
Get the Ianaj mug.She was terrified of Covid, afraid she'd suffocate wearing a mask, quaking over what effects the vaccine could have, phobic about getting close to anyone and mortified that she was being scarred-for-life by the emotional deprivations of social distancing. Dr. Kafween had termed her a Free Range Chicken, and now she was apprehensive about her next session, reasonably fearful of getting billed for a missed appointment with her analyst, who, she was afraid to admit, was rarely wrong.
by Monkey's Dad December 10, 2020
Get the free range chicken mug.The amount of carbon dioxide - essentially zero - emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a person in the grip of Cabin Fever, staying at home during the pandemic.
She wasn't flying. She wasn't driving. She wasn't even walking, except to pace her apartment in a state of cabin fever. She figured she could at least be proud of her tiny cabin footprint.
by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020
Get the Cabin Footprint mug.Would like, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kylie and Kendall ever, like, accept being canceled? It was rigged, fraudulent, they weren't leaving, and someone was gonna pay for her Kardashed expectations.
by Monkey's Dad September 9, 2020
Get the Kardashed expectations mug.His trashionalization for demolishing her argument was easy. Family separation at the border was inhumane, and everyone else at the table knew it.
by Monkey's Dad March 7, 2020
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