Monkey's Dad's definitions

Charlatantrum

A temper tantrum thrown by an unqualified charlatan president, when questioned, opposed or exposed for his ignorance, pretense and lies.

"I say you're a terrible reporter!" the president fumed, when asked what he might say to reassure the American people. It was untethered to the real world, just another charlatantrum, meant to disguise his unfitness but only revealing it.

by Monkey's Dad April 23, 2020

I'll wait here

When spoken to a man, by a woman, who is seated comfortably in the front seat of a car, on a rainy day, outside Starbucks, translates into English as: Venti Cappuccino with almond milk and a vanilla bean pastry, please.

I'll wait here.

by Monkey's Dad December 24, 2019

artistic license

Any choice made in the production of anything the artist calls art.

"So I took a bit of artistic license, okay? It's called "Queen Kong Lear", about an apewoman who feels unloved by her sons. If Shakespeare were alive today he'd totally love it."

by Monkey's Dad March 10, 2020

The Grim Sower

The Grim Reaper's silent partner, spreading an invisible virus.

The Grim Sower moved with stealth, planting the invisible seeds of sickness in preparation for his more-famous friend, The Grim Reaper, to finish the job.

by Monkey's Dad March 26, 2020

postcognitive

Knowledge which arrives after it might have. Seeing something clearly, once it has passed. Understanding everything just a bit too late.

The opposite of precognitive.

He knew the answer he should have given in the job interview, saw why Dianah had left him for the plumber, understood that the X-Ray Specs ad was probably bogus, and as always, his understanding was postcognitive.

by Monkey's Dad March 3, 2020

medical professional

A nurse, doctor, orderly, chaplain or other member of hospital staff, worthy of our most profound respect and gratitude.

Any medical professional is placing themself at the highest levels of risk for contracting the virus, yet they come to work and give more than is required, inadequately protected and knowing that many of their colleagues are already infected and are suffering.

by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020

hystereophonic

State-of-the-art sound quality of conservative talk radio.

She closed her eyes to get the full hystereophonic effect of Rush Limbaugh, fuming that Black Lives Matter is a 'hate symbol', that wearing masks is a liberal conspiracy to rig the election, that the very stable genius was sent by God.

by Monkey's Dad July 2, 2020