703 definitions by Monkey's Dad
"Man, I've been working like a dog", he muttered into the phone, his feet up, eyes on the game, the bag of Doritos on his chest almost empty. There must have been a time, long ago, he imagined, when dogs spent their lives herding cattle from sunrise to sunset, but any actual 21st century dog he knew was lazier than The Dude.
by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020
A currently-living, proudly primitive person. A surprisingly vivid embodiment of attitudes and aptitudes thought to be long-extinct.
by Monkey's Dad September 18, 2019
In the eyes of the world: A means of protecting students and teachers from coronavirus.
In the eyes of Donald Trump: A means of hurting him.
In the eyes of Donald Trump: A means of hurting him.
"We're going to put pressure on governors to open the schools," the President said. "They think school closings are going to hurt me politically, so they keep the schools closed."
by Monkey's Dad July 8, 2020
A book about the author's own life, which very slightly embellishes the truth, as far and as often as possible.
Deciding that her mother was the renegade Ninth Duchess of Waterford, her father a famous and notoriously dissolute rock star, her conception occurring at midnight on the Concord as all around them were asleep, she began her projected ten-volume sortabiography.
by Monkey's Dad February 28, 2020
His air of grindiosity was betrayed by his three-day work schedule, four month paid summer vacation and that ski chalet in Vail he thought no one knew about.
by Monkey's Dad February 25, 2020
When it seemed he could not sink any farther, Trump, LOTL, publicly accused an innocent person of murder.
by Monkey's Dad May 28, 2020
The response of someone whose worldview is dictated by Fox, Newsmax and Limbaugh, upon being told that the election was neither stolen nor rigged, that Covid kills people, that a violent mob stormed the Capitol on January 6, that Donald Trump will not go down in history as a great man.
by Monkey's Dad January 11, 2021