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Mind Hunter the Profiler's definitions

99 Entries

99 Entries — the entry Mindhunter Profiler entered into The Urban Dictionary on April 6th 2023 to enter his 100th definition. This entry is based on a play of words utilizing the title of the JZ Song 99 Problems.
I’ve got 99 entries but but I want an even one hundred.
by Mind Hunter the Profiler April 6, 2023
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Lawd Geeziz

A heartfelt verbal ejaculation when you want to simultaneously praise people, events, things, or situations yet not be blasphemous.

Often used is a questionable context where the use of purely religious praise could be unwarranted.
My wife’s twin sister just broke me of AND MY WIFE WAS DOWN! LAWD GEEZIZ!!!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler November 28, 2021
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shell hunger

shell hunger — unnecessary death caused by the lack of sufficient ammunition in the midst of a fire fight.
Before Ukrainians die of starvation or cold weather, many good men women and children will die of shell hunger if we don’t give that country the weapons it needs. ARSENAL OF DEMOCRACY, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler February 24, 2023
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funeral drinking game

The funeral drinking game is played in the Midwest after loss of a family member.

It is considered to be the crown jewel of “Wisconsin Death Trip Culture”.

It is an extremely life affirming ritual; and, completely depends of being especially attentive during the funeral.

If you play this game even once you will experience the pagan origins of this ritual.

It’s played with beer, wine, cognac, or peppermint schnapps depending on Alcohol by volume acquired tolerance and budget.

Ideal foods eaten during the game are hot wings, or microwaved bags of fast food burgers referred to as “soak ‘em ups” for their function of slowing the flooding of alcohol into the system.

Drinking occurs whenever someone has observed the event that is proffered resulting almost immediately in group laughter.

Examples of gameplay that are illustrative; but not exhaustive include:

If you saw cousin Tony rubbing his gums after he did a line of cocaine in the coat room DRINK!
Drink if you got tired of the kid in the front row dropping coins during the funeral.
Sip each time someone told you “you have my sympathy” during the receiving line.
Drink if you know who the funeral fuck couple will be!
If you are a member of the funeral fuck couple chug!!!

We all get a turn to play and we all get to be the cause of the funeral drinking game.

It’s the circle of life.
I was identified as a member of the fuck couple when we played grandads funeral drinking game and I had to chug. HE WOUODN’T HAVE HAD IT ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler December 8, 2022
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I’m just speaking in general…

I’m just speaking in general… — a story telling tactic used by old southern people when they are actually reading you from head to toe; inside and out; and from womb to tomb. In many ways, this is worse than if they put both feet in your ass and yelled at you about your folly.

“I’m just speaking in general” has four parts: a detailed summary of your past character; a current analysis of your present actions based on things you did as a child; a detailed outcome of you actions based on probability and having seen your story played out in other people’s lives that they have seen with their own eyes; and, an admonition to change your ways if you don't want to end up like the person they are just “speaking in general about.
Boy, I ain’t got no hang ups; I’m too old to have hang ups. Hang ups is for young people — I’m just speaking in general… Oh I knew a boy like you: he was hard headed when he was a baby and he’s head headed now. You know what they say about hard headed people: A HARD HEAD MAKES A SOFT ASSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I’m just speaking in general. But, if you don’t want to end up like that; you better change your ways!!!!!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 22, 2023
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I’d give my left nut to…

I’d give my left nut to… — one of the larger hyperbolic lies men tell to express an acquisitive faux passion.

I don’t know any men who would actually give up their left nut for any reason! But, I and a lot of men I know have said this at least once in our lifetime — usually expressing a desire in an arena where loosing a nut would be counter productive.

Well…no one ever said hyperbole was logical.

Any why the left nut?

Is the right nut biologically more powerful; do testicles work like kidneys where one is more dominant?

Most poetic expression falls apart when subjected to even a little scrutiny.

So no — we would not REALLY give up our left nut. That’s just some hyperbolic shit to say!!!!
The expression “ I’d give my left nut to…” used in a context to illustrate its usage:

I’d give my left nut to to have sex with Sydnee Sweeny and give her brumski .
by Mind Hunter the Profiler May 30, 2023
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I am way past facing reality!

“I am way past facing reality!” Is a statement of clarity beyond clarity. This statement is a counter slap to someone who thinks that they are trying to alert you to the reality of a situation. It’s another way of saying: “Oh, allow me to retort, MOTHERFUCKER!”.
Lover #1 You have to face reality, our relationship is in trouble and we need to talk.

Lover #2 I am way past facing reality! OUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER!!!!!
by Mind Hunter the Profiler February 23, 2023
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