Matti! Matti! Matti!'s definitions
A derogatory term for the petty bureaucrat's badge of office. It is held close to the chest and carries papers with information that is jealously guarded. It allows access to sensitive areas and gives the bearer authority to pry into the work being done by others. Often used for micromanagement and the application of "bureaucracy gone mad".
by Matti! Matti! Matti! October 13, 2012
Get the Clipboard of Powermug. To become resigned to the fact that you won't be able to defecate until your colon decides it's ready to.
Patient: "I took the laxatives you gave me but I still haven't been able to go to the toilet."
Doctor: "Well, your bowel will evacuate when it's ready. You'll just have to learn constipatience."
Doctor: "Well, your bowel will evacuate when it's ready. You'll just have to learn constipatience."
by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 15, 2013
Get the constipatiencemug. When a (usually) woman equates sex with love, thinking that because a man had sex with her, it means that he loves her. In men, it is often a nerdy type who has sex out of his league and turns into a total obsessive. Is often the trigger for stalkerish behaviour.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 4, 2011
Get the Sex-is-love Disordermug. From reddit: "My girlfriend is going to break up with me in 5 hours from now."
–remotepath 105 points 16 hours ago
please masturbate, it clears your head
–mf4633 59 points 15 hours ago
one caveat: don't think about her when you're doing it
–speedstix 33 points 10 hours ago
crymaxing is never good.
–remotepath 105 points 16 hours ago
please masturbate, it clears your head
–mf4633 59 points 15 hours ago
one caveat: don't think about her when you're doing it
–speedstix 33 points 10 hours ago
crymaxing is never good.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 24, 2011
Get the crymaxingmug. A day on which all the people one meets are unattractive, despite the odds which say that half the people one meets will be attractive.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 22, 2010
Get the Ugly Daymug. Inspired by the Guerrilla Gardening movement, it is a way to improve a neighbourhood by entering public and private gardens and performing any kind of maintenance that is required, such as weeding, pruning, and thinning. If one already has the tools, it is a zero-cost activity that can be done at any time.
Granddaughter: You were a long time on your walk, Grandma.
Grandmother: Yes, dear, that's because I was Guerrilla Weeding the neighbour's garden. They really need to look after their gypsophila better.
Grandmother: Yes, dear, that's because I was Guerrilla Weeding the neighbour's garden. They really need to look after their gypsophila better.
by Matti! Matti! Matti! August 12, 2012
Get the Guerrilla Weedingmug. The events in Japan following on from the earthquake of 11 March 2011, ie earthquake damage, tsunami damage, nuclear power plant damage, volcanic eruption, missing trains, massive destruction and climbing death toll.
From "japan" and "apocalypse".
From "japan" and "apocalypse".
by Matti! Matti! Matti! April 1, 2011
Get the Japocalypsemug.