(noun) Barbie end tables are the little plastic thingies found in a pizza box that keep the box from collapsing and smashing the pizza. They are a perfect size to use as a Barbie doll accessory as an end table.
We got five pizzas delivered and my niece started to cry because she found out that we threw away the Barbie end tables.
Assectomy – the procedure in which an asshole is separated from an institution, employer or personal relationship because of being an asshole.
Some survive an assectomy by joining AA Assholes Anonymous
and participating in a 12-step program to reform their lives. Others just go on to another institution, employer or personal relationship to repeat the cycle in an endless loop of assholiness.
When Bill was dumped by Karen, he went through a brief period of remorse following the assectomy but did not continue his 12-step Assholes Anonymous group and went on to inflict his assholiness on yet another sad but unknowing victim.
Cardbordeaux is wine that is packaged in a collapsable (usually plastic) bladder with a tap inside a cardboard box. Sneered on by oenophiles but happily consumed by those such as middle-class housewives who were beer-drinkers in college. And possible Boone's Farm drinkers in high school. But it's not as sweet.
A favorite of Sara Wiggum, mother of Ralph and wife of Chief Wiggum
on The Simpsons
Cardbordeaux is generally inexpensive compared to bottled wine, but more expensive varieties are coming out as its popularity increases.
"You look like my Mommy after her box of wine," said Ralph Wiggum
thinking of his mother's Cardbordeaux.
From the blog of Mary Tsao of Northern California:
"A sad sight: This mommy tipping the box of wine to get the last of it out. When did the box of wine replace the keg, people? I'm officially old."
Mostly consumed by white folks. I notice it's rarely available in markets dominated by African Americans.
Popular brands are Franzia, Peter Vella and Almaden. Reportedly the most popular variety (according to Papa Joe's Discount Liquors in Richmond, Indiana) is Franzia Sunset Blush.
(noun) The tee-hiny is the nether region of the body, particularly for women and girls. I have never heard this term in reference to males, but that's not to say it doesn't exist. It isn't just the vagina
, it's the "bottom" plus any other places "down there." This term is used almost exclusively in the south by the very genteel but anatomically disinterested.
Its origins are unknown, but it's common in South Louisiana, where "Tee" is a French/Cajun term meaning "little." So it could be translated as "little hiny/hinie/hiney."
The main product of the tee-hiny is tee-tee
. No nice lady in the south would ever say "pee." It is considered extremely vulgar, probably worse than the "F" word.
Again, it's not just the vagina because everybody knows you don't tee-tee from your vagina. You tee-tee from your tee-hiny.
When I went to the bathroom, my mother was sure to say, "Wipe your little tee-hiny," which is redundant as "tee" means small.
YOYO - "You're own your own." Often used when people ask Mom a particularly stupid question regarding her duties as cook, janitor, maid, chauffeur, legal adviser, boundary maintainer, dispute negotiator, personal no-deposit ATM, etc.
The answer to the question, "What's for dinner?"
YOYO - You're on your own!
Bapolics are found mainly in South Louisiana, where as they are known to say, "We have both religions here - Baptist and Catholic." Bapolics are mixed-religion families. A Bapolic may have Baptist parents but Catholic grandparents or great-grandparents. Or they could have one Baptist parent and one Catholic parent. They could be Catholic with a lot of Baptist cousins. These people are still family and do interact with each other.
My mother was Baptist but enough of a Bapolic that she could whip up a little chapel cap to wear to a wedding Mass out of a net onion bag and some artificial flowers. This was back when women had to wear hats inside Catholic churches pre-Vatican II.
In our Bapolic family, when the Catholics throw a party there is always beer. When the Baptists throw a party, the beer was iced down in an ancient Co-Cola ice chest in the bed of my uncle's pick-up truck. The truck was parked a half of a football field away from the other guests.
Etiquette: Bapolic families are considerate enough of each other's religions that if they have to attend each other's services, they would never attempt to take Communion. But the Baptists don't kneel during Mass, which causes problems sometimes especially at First Communions, weddings and funerals when there are a lot of people in the church. This is because the people behind them who are kneeling don't have any place to rest their elbows on the back of the pew while kneeling themselves and waiting for their turn to go up for Holy Communion. This causes a lot of discomfort on the old knees and difficulty in maintaining balance.
Nobody ever tells the Baptists that this is a problem or suggest they just sit a little forward on their seats. Bapolics are painfully polite most of the time, at least in front of people of the other religion. Otherwise they can tell jokes like my Baptist cousin who said, "You know what that ol'priest sounds like he's sayin'? 'I'mmmmm gonna walk my dog and you're gonna walk your dog tooooo-ooooo.'"
Baptists always cover their beer cans with coozies and everyone pretends they don't recognize the Budweiser logos sticking out of the top of the can. Catholics only have to cover their beer cans with coozies when they are drinking with the Baptists (out of respect) or when it's really hot outside, which it often is in South Louisiana.
Snopesed (verb), Snopsing (noun) refers to the act of questioning the origin of an email forwarded to one's inbox. There are certain red flags leading to the recipient initiating a Snopsing. Some are the words "Send this to everyone you know!" the attribution of clever statements or shibboleths to well known people or celebrities, often Kurt Vonnegut or George Carlin and dire warnings and predictions to cause alarm and fear in soft-hearted or gullible folk. The recipient then plugs keywords from the forward into www.snopes.com to reveal basic fallacies and/or half-truths inherent in the message.
My husband forwarded me "George Carlin's Rules for 2007," but I Snopesed it and found out it wasn't from 2006 and it was really coined by Bill Mahler.
My cousin sent me an email suggesting I visit a particular website where every hit will supposedly cause Bill Gates to contribute a dollar to the the Society for Six-toed Sephardic Semites or some other worthy cause, but a Snopsing revealed it to be totally false.