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Markwonder's definitions

Jellybeans

Small, sugary jelly-like candy. They are shaped like small beans and come in many flavors and colors. They are somewhat harder than gummy bears. They are also very popular with the children around Easter.
Jellybeans are a lot like people. Nobody likes the black ones.
by Markwonder November 15, 2010
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Law of wrong way

The law of wrong way states that: "While driving in the city, any missed or wrong turn and subsequent backtracking to find your original route will be met by frustratingly slow moving traffic and red lights at every intersection.

Many, if not all of these red lights will be Full-cycle red lights."
While trying to find the corporate building downtown, I missed my turn and ended up backtracking an extra 3 miles, through 4 busy intersections, while following two old ladies, a Vespa scooter and a garbage truck. The law of wrong way was in effect.

Needless to say, I missed the Boss's luncheon and didn't get the promotion. FML.
by Markwonder October 28, 2010
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Marriage

The point at which the friendship with your sweetheart ends and becomes a business relationship.

The point at which you stop having fun and take on responsibility for yourself and your new wife.

The end of your life as you once knew it.
Marriage is a lot like playing cards.

You start out giving a heart and a diamond, and end up wishing for a club and a spade.
by Markwonder January 11, 2011
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Intolerance

Usually practiced by those on the left of the political spectrum when they are confronted with an opinion or belief that is different than theirs.
During the Miss America Pageant, When asked by judge Perez Hilton, an openly gay gossip blogger, whether she believed in gay marriage, Miss California, Carrie Prejean, said "We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."
Carrie Prejean was sneered and booed at by the audience and confronted with such abject hate and intolerance by the audience and many liberals for her opinion that many of the gay men at the event
wondered aloud why the judges did not discriminate against her for her beliefs. The question came up as to why Carrie Prejean was not thrown out of the competition for her stand on gay marriage.
by markwonder April 20, 2009
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Redneck Doorbell

The truck's horn. Lets your date know that you're sitting out front of the trailer waiting to pick her up.
Jimmy used the redneck doorbell to let Charlene know he was out front waiting to take her to the Dairy Stripe.
by Markwonder November 27, 2010
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Wiseacre

That Emmet Wickersham is a real wiseacre, I tell you. I caught him stealing checkers off the board while I was looking at Lawrence Welk on the television set." "If he tries that just one more time, I'm calling the nurse."
by Markwonder August 30, 2010
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Renig

The shift change at the downtown carwash.
Steve noticed that customers were complaining because the blacks were getting lazy and weren't paying proper attention to their assigned duties. It was obviously time to renig.
by markwonder August 21, 2009
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