MagickDio's definitions

Sack Race

1) The fierce, unspoken competition between men to each prove themselves to be the alpha male of the group.

2) A competition between friends to see how quickly they can get someone in bed.

Greg and John are neck and neck in their sack race, as Greg has bagged himself identical twin girlfriends, equalling John's threesome with 2 glamour models.

by MagickDio August 28, 2010

Dusty Grudge

When someone brings up an old grievance that was dead and buried and attempts to revive it to suit their purpose. For example, say a woman named Katie dislikes the fact that one of her friends has bought something Katie wanted for herself. Instead of simply stating annoyance just about that, she also starts referencing a time when they were in school twenty years ago and her friend had kissed a boy that Katie had liked herself. That's a dusty grudge.

Similarly, when someone gets personally annoyed about something which happened many years before they were even born and starts flapping gums about it and getting all irate; that too is a dusty grudge. For example, a black friend on a night out does not take too kindly to the request from his white friends that he to go to the bar. Rather than tell them to go themselves, he then journeys a bit too far off the freaking scale and starts huffing and puffing about slavery and opression of black people in the 1700's. Extremely dusty gruge.

woman- "No, Trina and Tash are fighting, so we can't invite them to the party."
man-"Still? What is the problem now?!"
woman-"Well, first it was because Trina asked Joey's dad out to the single parent's coffee morning and Tash had been saying she like him, but now it's about Trina deliberately wearing the same colour dress but much shorter than Tash's to her brother's bbq in 1995."
man-"Fuck me, that's a dusty grudge if ever I heard one!!"

Fred- "Are you getting your ticket now, Blake?"
Blake "Yeah, why?"
Fred- "Could you grab mine too, please? Here's the money, I just want to use the toilets first."
Dave- "Yeah, me too, if that's ok, Blake?"

Blake- "You know what? Fuck this!! I didn't come out to be the token fucking slave!! Yeah, SLAVE. I said it. People like you are why the slave trade kept going for so damn long!! I don't have to do things for you just because I'm black!! What is it like ingrained in you white folk that we're you're servants?! Well, no more!!! NO more."

Dave- "Jesus, Blake. Were you a part of the fucking slave trade?! Massive overreaction there, mate!"
Fred-"Yeah, I second that. All you had to say was "No." That's a seriously dusty grudge you've got there."

by MagickDio October 9, 2012

McFuck

1) Horny teenage couples in their droves flock to McDonald's for cheap, disgusting "food" every weekend. Sometimes, dipping the fries in those nasty little ketchup tubs gets too sexually suggestive for them, and they head off to the toilets to bang each other. They think it's risque, but almost everyone in McDonald's has no soul and no shame; their faces are deeply buried in greasy, supersized crap, so they barely notice the kids sneaking off for a McFuck.

2) McDonald's employees that are shagging at work are "McFucking". Presumably, the experience of being "Mcfucked" would lead to some serious "McShame", but as afore mentioned, those that spend large amounts of time in McDonald's have no souls, or personalities for that matter.

"Shall we go to McDonald's and get a McChicken Sandwich? We could sneak off for a quick McFuck too, if you wanna?"

"Norman and Shirley were McFucking at the end of last night's shift. I only noticed because I'm new here and still could go to heaven"

by MagickDio March 7, 2010

Charity Orgasm

An orgasm which is given out of an uncomfortable sense of duty; much like parting with small change when confronted with a bucket shaking Salvation Army worker. You don't want to give it, but you'll be made to feel a total shit if you don't.

Here is a typical example of a circumstance that requires such a donation. Your partner has been moaning all the livelong day about their appearance. Words like "obese", "disgusting", "hideous" and "gross" have been used so often and so emphatically that, despite yourself, you genuinely begin to agree. Then the obligatory "You're so gorgeous, I can't keep my hands off you" sex that was meant to assure them they're hot has become an act of charity, with you performing deeds that you would rather not share with someone who has half convinced you they're a troll.

He closed his eyes and thought of Beyoncé whilst making his charity orgasm donation to his long term "fat", "rancid" and "skanky" girlfriend.

by MagickDio October 15, 2010

Unfucktionate

1)A situation where all was not well, sexually. This can apply to a dry spell or a sex session that went totally wrong

2) An individual who either never gets laid, or is appalling at it.

1) "I didn't pull last night, AGAIN. I'm going through a really unfucktionate time of late"

"Laura puked when she tried deep throating me. That was unfucktionate.

2) "That creepy guy who lives with his parents and wears white knee socks is so unfucktionate"

"So I finally went to bed with Steve, only to find out that the dude is crazily unfucktionate"

by MagickDio February 5, 2010

Crazy Time

There comes a point in an argument where your opponent runs out of logical material to use against you, yet refuses to conceed. This is the moment you enter Crazy Time. Men will recognise it as the part where women start yelling, through furious tears, about things that happened years previously, and putting a whole new spin on them, then telling the man exactly what he meant by what he said. Except it's rarely anything anyone would ever mean, or even think. Women will know it's Crazy Time when men start saying things like "I'm ending this argument right now!" and then continue bellowing about how it cannot be allowed to go on, and arguing over why it needs to be finished. Men can never finish an argument. They can only halt it "for now". The very same argument will be referenced and recommenced during the next period of Crazy Time.

Jennifer started to cry and shout at the same time, virtually incomprehensible wails about how last year, Doug HAD given her a funny look when she said hello to her ex, and that he had basically called her a whore when he commented on how nice it was that they were on speaking terms after all these years. It wasn't what he said, you understand, it was what he MEANT that made all the difference, and THAT is how Doug knew that they were in Crazy Time, yet again.

by MagickDio September 14, 2010

Knobsessed

A complete knob jockeying slut, be they male or female. So obsessed with penises, that they don't even notice the guy attached to it. Every workplace, town and secondary school has one of these "knobsessed" individuals. Teenagers and middle aged guys often fall victim to the knobsessed. You can recognise them by their trousers (which are too tight) and their hair (which is too bleached/dyed/straightened/backcombed) and by their voice (which is too loud).

Ed- "Look at Tracey chatting up Darren"
Meg- "Ewww, he's a freak of nature!"
Ed- "I know, the girl is totally knobsessed"

"Donna didn't recognise me in town, even though we shagged last week. I think she was just knobsessed with me"

by MagickDio February 8, 2010