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MagickDio's definitions

Hit The High "C"

To Hit the high "C" is to make the high pitched noise emitted by a man who has just been injured in the genital area. It's a note easily achieved by choir boys and opera singers, but most men will only ever manage to attain such highs when they've sustained a blow to the bollocks.

To induce this noise in a gentleman, use reasonable force when striking the area. Note- REASONABLE force. Excessive force will result in no sound, as the note emitted will be too high for even dogs to hear, or he'll be unconscious, which is no fun for anyone.
"I accidentally elbowed Finn when I went to grab my handbag off the floor. He really hit the high "c", it was hard not to laugh"

"Ferdinand with a very good interception cleanly takes the ball away from Cissé. Now Gerrard comes dancing in like a fairy and oh! It's a kick to the balls from Ferdinand! And there's Gerrard, on his knees, having just hit the high "c""
by MagickDio March 3, 2010
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Shark Week

The week during which a woman has her period. There will be blood, an uncomfortable sense of tension and a bad tempered, unpredictable beast.

Take heed during shark week. If you show signs of weakness or aggression, you will be attacked. If you get attacked, it will be all your fault, infinitely more traumatic for her and you'll never be allowed to forget it.
Man 1-"Why is your wife glaring at you from the window?"
Man 2-"Shark week. She's looking for an excuse to strike"

Man 1-"Pub?"
Man 2-"Hell yes."
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
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Boysturiser

1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.

2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."

2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"

"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"

"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
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Loasting

To verbally bash a person you hate, to their face. Comes from merging the words "Loathe" and "Roasting" together. Whilst anyone can "roast" a celebrity or even a friend behind their backs, only someone who truly hates you can give you a loasting and still somehow come out looking like the good guy. A loasting does not merely take you down a peg or two. It is as if someone has taken away your shield and pissed in your face. In public. And everyone will believe, due to the righteous anger with which the loasting is delivered, that you deserve it.

We have all fantasised about giving a good loasting to the person we despise the most. Only a few, edge dwelling individuals have done so, and these loasters must be treated with respect for that which they have served.
Lesha vowed never ever to go to Tesco in the village ever again, for fear of the loasting she would inevitably receive, should she cross paths with Dee.
by MagickDio October 27, 2011
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quick-fire round

Any sexual act in which ejaculation is achieved within seconds.
"I've been wanting to fuck him for months. I wouldn't have wasted my time if I'd known it was gonna be a bloody quick- fire round"

"Last night, I was so horny from browsing online porn, I had to wake the missus up for a quick-fire round"

"I only had a few minutes to knock one off the wrist before my mum came home. Bit of a quick-fire round"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
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Winter Tears

When the cold weather or a gust of wind forces your eyes to water and hot tears to spill down your cheeks, prompting people to ask "What's the matter?!"

Winter Tears could be an acceptable to use if you don't actually want people to know you're crying. However, during an episode of genuine Winter Tears, there are those that won't believe you weren't sobbing. Thus, the Winter Tears phenomenon is dreaded by young males.
"What's the matter?"
"Don't worry, it's just winter tears"
by MagickDio September 22, 2011
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Big Jazz

1) A sarcastic term used to describe something or someone that others clearly thinks is great, but is actually fairly sub standard. (Not unlike a lot of jazz)

2) A description for the fuss people make about something that's hardly worth mentioning. (Like the latest jazz album.)
1) "I got a new puppy!"
"Big Jazz! I got a new shotgun. Shall we get the two of them together?"

2) "So the bride walked down the aisle and everyone went "Ahhhhhh". All I could think was- "Big Jazz... she looks like an iced gem."
by MagickDio April 19, 2010
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