MagickDio's definitions
A complete knob jockeying slut, be they male or female. So obsessed with penises, that they don't even notice the guy attached to it. Every workplace, town and secondary school has one of these "knobsessed" individuals. Teenagers and middle aged guys often fall victim to the knobsessed. You can recognise them by their trousers (which are too tight) and their hair (which is too bleached/dyed/straightened/backcombed) and by their voice (which is too loud).
Ed- "Look at Tracey chatting up Darren"
Meg- "Ewww, he's a freak of nature!"
Ed- "I know, the girl is totally knobsessed"
"Donna didn't recognise me in town, even though we shagged last week. I think she was just knobsessed with me"
Meg- "Ewww, he's a freak of nature!"
Ed- "I know, the girl is totally knobsessed"
"Donna didn't recognise me in town, even though we shagged last week. I think she was just knobsessed with me"
by MagickDio February 8, 2010
Get the Knobsessed mug.Non existent ideal. The term embodies the unrealistic expectations of magazines/society/men when it comes to mothers. Magical Mummy can cook, clean, do arts and crafts with the kiddies, sew, wash, walk the dog and fuck like a pornstar without even ruffling her perfect hair. She is never to be found languishing on the sofa whilst the kids run riot, nor does she drink wine and sob in the evenings, looking at the pile of ironing and wondering what the fuck happened to her life.
Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.
Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.
"He asked me why I hadn't been able to iron his uniform as well as make the dinner and clean the kitchen. As if I'm some kind of Magical Mummy!"
"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"
"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"
"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"
"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"
by MagickDio February 5, 2010
Get the Magical Mummy mug.Occasional Cunt Disorder. Most commonly affecting men, and most likely to strike when they've been drinking and their good for nothing sports team have lost. Symptoms include sneering at lifelong friends, ignoring the person who is speaking to you, laughing humourlessly at someone who is just trying to be nice and picking one person to humiliate. The cure is usually to sulk moodily in a corner for a while, but the drastic measure of a slap to the face is sometimes administered.
"Sorry about last night Baz. Didn't mean to tell your mum that story about you being caught wanking by a busload of nuns. A bit of OCD I think."
"Leave him alone to sulk, miserable bastard. It's a good job it's only OCD, or I'd kick his head in"
"Leave him alone to sulk, miserable bastard. It's a good job it's only OCD, or I'd kick his head in"
by MagickDio March 2, 2010
Get the OCD mug.Oven Eye occurs when a female wearing mascara opens an oven door and bends to peer in instantly, before allowing the steam to escape. The resulting rush of moist heat to the face causes the mascara to react and seriously clump the eyelashes together, making it appear that each eye has a few short, black horns per eyelid, instead of curling, dark lashes.
"Bollocks! I'm going to have to go and do my makeup again, I've got oven eye!"
"Check out those false eyelashes, she looks like she's got oven eye"
"Check out those false eyelashes, she looks like she's got oven eye"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
Get the Oven Eye mug.1) Snacks or otherwise salty goods that are purchased for a much lower price than they would ordinarily retail for.
2) Revenge that happened too quickly to be served cold, or taste sweet. It might have been done differently to how you wanted it, but it was still tasty and cost you much less time and effort than other methods. Salty bargain!!
2) Revenge that happened too quickly to be served cold, or taste sweet. It might have been done differently to how you wanted it, but it was still tasty and cost you much less time and effort than other methods. Salty bargain!!
1) Look at this half price gammon. Salty bargain!!
2) I was going to torture her for years with the idea that Imight tell her husband and eventually make her cave in and tell him herself. But then I just emailed him. Salty bargain.
2) I was going to torture her for years with the idea that Imight tell her husband and eventually make her cave in and tell him herself. But then I just emailed him. Salty bargain.
by MagickDio September 22, 2011
Get the Salty Bargain mug.Those odd pinpricks of sparkling light that fill your vision before you pass out, and linger in your sights for at least 10 minutes after you've come round.
"Mate, I can't drink any more! I'm getting carkles!"
"I don't know if we can move him yet. Ask him if he still has carkles"
"I don't know if we can move him yet. Ask him if he still has carkles"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
Get the Carkles mug.An extremely low budget affair that strives unsuccessfully to look classier than it is. Most do stop short of actually holding their wedding reception in MacDonalds, but if you've ever attended a reception similar to the one about to be described, rest assured, you have attended a "McWedding"
The bride and groom are both dressed in suits or in wedding clothes that were made around 25 years ago. The reception is held in a pub function room or community hall (not bad in itself) and is decorated with a few mismatched balloons, streamers, party poppers, paper tablecloths and weird papery swans and bells (very very bad). The food was clearly made by a team of aging female relatives with no concept of hygiene, and consists of rapidly drying tuna, ham and cheese sandwiches, copious amounts of cheese and pineapple on sticks, lots of quiche and breadsticks and platters of chicken nuggets. Confetti is all around every dish to make it look as if it's of higher quality. There is a DJ with about 3 lights and just as many CD's. There is no open bar. Children run about, fighting and crying because they're so bored. Adults run about, fighting and crying and drinking because they're so bored.
The bride and groom are both dressed in suits or in wedding clothes that were made around 25 years ago. The reception is held in a pub function room or community hall (not bad in itself) and is decorated with a few mismatched balloons, streamers, party poppers, paper tablecloths and weird papery swans and bells (very very bad). The food was clearly made by a team of aging female relatives with no concept of hygiene, and consists of rapidly drying tuna, ham and cheese sandwiches, copious amounts of cheese and pineapple on sticks, lots of quiche and breadsticks and platters of chicken nuggets. Confetti is all around every dish to make it look as if it's of higher quality. There is a DJ with about 3 lights and just as many CD's. There is no open bar. Children run about, fighting and crying because they're so bored. Adults run about, fighting and crying and drinking because they're so bored.
"I've still got food poisoning and a black eye from Pete and Sal's McWedding at the weekend. Shittest thing I've ever been to."
by MagickDio March 15, 2010
Get the McWedding mug.