Subscribe English
look up any word, like sapiosexual:

6 definitions by MTCaptain

 
1.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy — not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of by any Earthman.

Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.

in fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor — of which no Earthman had ever heard either.

Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one — more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes and Who is this God Person Anyway?

In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.

First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don't Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.

The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.

Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.

Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!

Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).

Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.

Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic.

Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Sprinkle Zamphuor.

Add an olive.

Drink ... but ... very carefully ...

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.
by MTCaptain August 15, 2006
147 23
 
2.
Marajawana from british columbia. It is usually better quality because rather than hydroponicsBC growers still use soil, providing a higher THCcontent and therefore a better high. It is usually quite strong to firs time tokers and people who havn't grown up in BC.
Some dude from USA (after smoking aa BC bud joint): WOAH DUDE!! this is some strong shit.
Me from BC: Fuck man, this is just shake.
by MTCaptain May 07, 2006
167 65
 
3.
An excuse creationists use to try to justify creation in the light of modern scientific discoveries. It makes as much logical sense as saying my big toe knows the meaning of life. I can't prove it because my toe can't talk but you can't disprove it for the same reason.
If God did the whole "intelligent design" thing then why are Christians so stupid.
by MTCaptain November 13, 2006
69 29
 
4.
A skit on SCTV in response to a need of a canadian segment.
It portrays two brothers, Bob and Doug Macenzie, as super-steryotypical canadians. The skit usually entails sitting arround, eating back baccon, drinking beer, saying "eh", and passing the occasional insult ("Shove off you hoser"). The skit always begens with the call of the wild.
I watched Great White North the movie and immediatly tried the mouse in bottle trick.
by MTCaptain August 12, 2006
33 6
 
5.
The Canadian equivilant of get lost.
Shove off you hoser
by MTCaptain August 12, 2006
39 13
 
6.
A footstool.

This definition is brought to you by the counsel for the explanation of Canadian language.
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you furniture for your house. Mabie a nice chesterfield or an automan
by MTCaptain November 26, 2006
8 9