LordJenal's definitions

Scan & Scram

Something that university/college students do in order to get the attendance marks for lectures/tutorials/seminars/lessons that they never attended. They can the attendance scanner outside the room their lesson is in with their student ID, the system marks them as present and they leave and go home or somewhere else other than the lesson. Smart teachers/lecturers will not allow this to happen and will manually change it to absent once they notice the student isn't there.

Scram is an informal word for leave or go away.

Student 1: You can afford to miss another lesson mate.
Student 2: Don't worry. I'll just Scan & Scram, I'll be fine.

by LordJenal October 18, 2022

Your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired

If you work as a cashier in a store that sells age restricted items such as alcohol you may get underage girls coming into the store with tonnes of makeup on to make themselves look older. This can result in you not asking them for ID because you think they look old enough to not need it but you end up getting fired anyway because they are actually underage.

For the guys, it is "your shitty beard is gonna get me fired."

Underage girl: *Places bottle of wine on counter*
Cashier: ID please
Underage girl: But I'm 30!
Cashier: Nope, your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired!

by LordJenal December 17, 2023

Eczema

The biggest bitch on the entire planet where you can't stop scratching yourself to death in god knows how many spots in a relentless and long-lasting way and it always comes back! Leaves red bleeding and itchy patches in all sorts of spots. Seriously, sometimes it feels like you want to scratch all your skin off to the point of where your a skeleton, it's that bloody bad!

I hate eczema it's such a bitch!

by LordJenal May 18, 2022

Vending Machine

The evilest scammer ever. Charges two quid for a bag of Steak McCoys. If you were already having a shit day then a vending machine will make things even worse in the cheekiest fucking way!

I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING MY VIRGINITY TONIGHT AND I FOUND OUT I WASN'T AT THE LAST MOMENT AND TO TOP THINGS OFF THAT FUCKING VENDING MACHINE SCAMMED ME 2 QUID FOR A BAG OF MCCOYS AFTER ALL THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS EVENING. SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!

by LordJenal June 20, 2022

Tax Leech

Someone who relies on public funds or taxpayers money in order to survive without making any kind of effort to fend for themselves. These could be convicted prisoners who are having their lives funded by taxpayers or could be people who are wrongly on benefits. It could also be people who are working in the public sector who are not doing their job properly. This is not to be confused with people who deserve benefits or people who are fairly earning taxpayers money who are working in the public sector.

Person 1: Did you hear how Marcus isn't getting a job and is living on benefits?
Person 2: I know, what a tax leech he is!
Person 1: Yeah. Don't want to be a tax leech like he is!

by LordJenal April 5, 2022

Secret Sex

When you are in a relationship and have sex with someone other than your partner/spouse. The reason it's secret sex is because if your partner or spouse finds out. YOU! ARE! SCREWED!

Although I'm married, I had secret sex with some French girl last night. Hope my misses doesn't find out!

by LordJenal November 16, 2023

You look about 15

An exaggerated way of saying someone in their late teens/early twenties looks young for their age. They may be chance look actually 15 but usually they look a little older than 15 but younger than their actual age.

22 year old: Could I get a litre of vodka please?
Cashier: Do you have ID on you?
Friend: HAHAHA! YOU LOOK ABOUT 15!

by LordJenal May 14, 2024