LordJenal's definitions

Scan & Scram

Something that university/college students do in order to get the attendance marks for lectures/tutorials/seminars/lessons that they never attended. They can the attendance scanner outside the room their lesson is in with their student ID, the system marks them as present and they leave and go home or somewhere else other than the lesson. Smart teachers/lecturers will not allow this to happen and will manually change it to absent once they notice the student isn't there.

Scram is an informal word for leave or go away.

Student 1: You can afford to miss another lesson mate.
Student 2: Don't worry. I'll just Scan & Scram, I'll be fine.

by LordJenal October 18, 2022

Your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired

If you work as a cashier in a store that sells age restricted items such as alcohol you may get underage girls coming into the store with tonnes of makeup on to make themselves look older. This can result in you not asking them for ID because you think they look old enough to not need it but you end up getting fired anyway because they are actually underage.

For the guys, it is "your shitty beard is gonna get me fired."

Underage girl: *Places bottle of wine on counter*
Cashier: ID please
Underage girl: But I'm 30!
Cashier: Nope, your shitty makeup is gonna get me fired!

by LordJenal December 17, 2023

Eczema

The biggest bitch on the entire planet where you can't stop scratching yourself to death in god knows how many spots in a relentless and long-lasting way and it always comes back! Leaves red bleeding and itchy patches in all sorts of spots. Seriously, sometimes it feels like you want to scratch all your skin off to the point of where your a skeleton, it's that bloody bad!

I hate eczema it's such a bitch!

by LordJenal May 18, 2022

Scuba dive the Titanic

A creative way of telling someone to kill themselves!

If you scuba dive the titanic you'll die instantly due to being crushed by the water pressure.

Person 1: *Does something annoying or stupid*
Person 2: What the fuck did you do that for. Scuba dive the Titanic, idiot!

by LordJenal July 2, 2023

Secret Sex

When you are in a relationship and have sex with someone other than your partner/spouse. The reason it's secret sex is because if your partner or spouse finds out. YOU! ARE! SCREWED!

Although I'm married, I had secret sex with some French girl last night. Hope my misses doesn't find out!

by LordJenal November 16, 2023

Self Sex

What sad virgins who don't have a relationship, life or job do with the time they are pissing away. Usually they do it whilst watching porn.

Too busy having self sex there mate?

by LordJenal August 28, 2022

Seat Hogging

Something that is done on a public train, bus, tram, etc... It is the act of one person finding two free seats, sitting down on one of the seats and placing their bag on the other seat to try and deter other people from sitting down. It is often seen as quite rude and selfish when people are hogging two seats. The main motive is mainly because some people feel uncomfortable about a stranger sat in a very close proximity to them which is understandable but not much that can be done when busy though, better than people standing up.

How dare that kid place a bag onto that seat when the train is this busy. That's seat hogging for you.

by LordJenal December 6, 2022