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30 definitions by KaiserMonkey

 
1.
The most awesome animal in the world. Can be tamed to play instruments, act in movies, etc. He who has a monkey 0wns.
I bought a monkey yesterday, and now I am extremely cool.
by KaiserMonkey August 26, 2003
 
2.
A large ass, badonkadonk of mythic proportions, much junk in the trunk, etc.
"Damn, Wayne, that girl has a big booty."
"Fuck, Johnson, how many times do I have to tell you not to use stupid, childish slang? The term is 'fine ass'!"
by KaiserMonkey August 18, 2003
 
3.
Probably the best movie ever, starring two losers named Harry and Lloyd that can't seem to do anything right. When Lloyd finds a suitcase that a girl he drove to the airport left in his taxi, he and Lloyd travel to Aspen to return it. Includes such brilliant quotes as "You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?" and "You are one pathetic loser! No offense."
"I saw Dumb and Dumber last week, shit that movie is awesome!"
by KaiserMonkey August 17, 2003
 
4.
The state of flirting with a man, especially one who has used the ab-abber. See Homestar Runner.
"The ladies will be all up ons."
by KaiserMonkey August 21, 2003
 
5.
An assmaster that also works as a doctor.
Proctologist: "Did you see the game last night?"
Jim: "No, did we beat them?"
Proctologist: "We didn't just beat em, we rectum!" (rimshot)
by KaiserMonkey August 23, 2003
 
6.
A town near Cincinnati, Ohio that is made fun of a lot due to having a name that sounds like it's referring to your ass.
"There's a sewage dump in Mianus."
"Bob, that's sick. Take that out of Mianus this instant!"
by KaiserMonkey August 19, 2003
 
7.
(v.) To masturbate.
(adj.) A blow-off, something boring.
Bart: C'mon man, everyone knows the first day of school is a total wank!
Principal Skinner: If by 'wank' you mean 'educational experience' then by golly it is wanking time!
by KaiserMonkey September 07, 2003