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5 definitions by Jimblor

 
1.
The Urge to Shit is an indication of one's closeness to actually shitting. Usually the urge to shit is often answered by a quick trip to the toilet. However, on some occasions the urge to shit has lurked as a silent killer, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It is often felt in the lower intestinal region and can be quite alarming as it causes tenseness of the muscles in that region.

If the urge to shit is not immediately purged, then it will eventually subside - however it will return (usually within 10 minutes) and bring back the same tense-ness desperation that can happen.

That is why it is always best to shit before a trip - to prevent the urge to shit from occurring. Furthermore it is always best to relieve it's call. And you will know the feeling of shit relief, when this urge has been fulfilled.
John felt a sudden tenseness in his stomach, he'd known there was shit inside of him; but he did not tend to it when he first found out. Nervous beads of sweat rained upon his face, the salty boiler goo pouring down. How could he maintain? It was an important meeting, he couldn't leave... The urge to shit was rising.


Ray: "urge to shit lowering... urge to shit lowering"

Dave: "Good, because it's still another hour till we get to Vegas."

Ray: "...my god"
by Jimblor April 03, 2009
 
2.
Waking up hungover after a heavy night of drinking, often including blackouts and puking the superb act of being trashed - awakening to find a bunch of items that you don't actually own, on your drawers.

These are drunk trophies, memorabilia from the night before. Unfortunately as you pick them up the memories often don't come back, why do I have this mascara set on my desk? Whose keys are these? Why is this screw driver here?

If you've asked any of these questions you have been a victim (or more so abuser) of Drunken Kleptomania. Simply put, drunken kleptomania is a state in which you steal shit and bring it back, but you were drunk, so drunk in fact that you don't remember how you procured said shit.

FACT: 67% of men have participated in drunken kleptomania.


John woke up, it was Sunday - Bloody Sunday he thought as his head felt like someone was putting it in a vice set like in Casino, only this was a four-way pressure clusterfuck squeezing the scrambled mess of hungover brains. His eyes burned as he let out a mighty grunt. Suddenly his eyes opened a bit wider, the pain subsiding as a subtle "What the fuck" blurted out.

There he clumsily stood, gawking at what was his room. He noticed the new construction sign that was broken through the dry wall. The lipstick that was on the bureau and the amassed set of keys. He examined the keys and lipstick with peculiar intrigue...

"Wha, When the fuck did I get this?"

The memories from last night were not coming back, He remembered leaving the party, and the beer bong an hour before that, but nothing in between or after. Just then his roommate came into the room.

"Dude, you were so fucked last night..."

Little did John know, but he had participated in the greatest robbery, the largest collection of Drunken Kleptomania since 1974.
by Jimblor April 07, 2009
 
3.
The Vampire Trend 2009 marks the year when mainstream media became supersaturated with vampire themed crap. Some of it isn't that bad, but most of it is. If you are so lucky to visit the year 2009, and you were from a different time you'd constantly hear people talking about "Twilight" or "True Blood" or the Vampire Diaries.

If you're suffering from being vamp'd by this trend, seek shelter immediately. Burn all your vampire related items, because as we all know; when the main shit stream gets oversaturated with one thing, it kills it.

You look at "pop culture" history and see it's true, too much of anything ruins it for everyone. All those going against the tide of this vampire craze, hold on for the next twelve months: because it'll implode on itself, eventually. Patience is key, you're doing your part.

For those of you caught in between being a part-time vampire and hating this fad, stay indoors - please, you'll be peer pressured into seeing some vampire stuff, and if you're of weak will you'll become one of them...
Girlie 1: Oh my God TWILIGHT the game.

Asshole (in this case normal person): I heard Edward Cullen dies in the new book.

Girlie 1: What?

Asshole (in this case normal person): Yeah it leaked on the innernette, he dies on page 256.

Girlie 1: NO! YOU ASSHOLE!!! YOU BITCH!!!

Then you walk away because 15 will get you 20...

Guy 1: What the hell is up with this twilight?

Guy 2: Fucking Vampire Trend 2009...

Guy 1: I mean, is it good?

Guy 2: What the fuck you say? Get out of here. Go!
by Jimblor October 08, 2009
 
4.
First of the day, is actually the first drink of the day. Usually this is centered around, if in College, one waking up and instinctively grabbing beer instead of breakfast first. In other circles, this runs along the lines of taking your flask, mickey, 26er, or other bottles of liquor and swigging it - in those cases it can occur anytime during the day, preferably earlier from 8:30 AM - 1:00 PM. Continued drinking to follow.

However this term does not only apply to those who like alcohol, the term can also be used for drug use, wake and bake is synonymous with first of the day. Basically any intoxicating substance can be applied, though as a general rule alcohol is the main one considered.
From Easy Rider:

Jack Nicholson's character along with Dennis Hopper's and Peter Fonda's have just been released from the county lock up. Nicholson pulls out a mickey of Jim Beam and states,

"Here's the first of the day fellas. To ol' D.H. Lawrence."

He then swigs the Jim Beam and in a knee-jerk reaction lifts one arm and moves it like a chicken with a seizure. He makes a sound that echoes within the group,

"YA!!!!! ni-ni-ni-fu-fu-fu-gaahhhh... Indians."
by Jimblor April 07, 2009
 
5.
To get a buzz on through alcohol, drugs, or both. And as the buzz wans, you take a little more to bump your buzz back up. Doing this multiple times is known as ridin' a buzz because essentially you're in a constant state of being semi-intoxicated by continually drinking over a course of time, but not too drunk or veggin' out.

This is similar to a bender in that you can ride a buzz ad inifitum, however, being buzzed and wasted are too different animals. Also this should not be confused with ridin' a bus, but this can be done while doing that.

The movie Dazed and Confused, almost everyone in it is ridin' a buzz.
by Jimblor January 13, 2009