A full size SUV made by GM under the name plate of the Chevrolet Suburban and the GMC Yukon XL. Up until 2000, the GMC model was also a Suburban. The Cadillac Escalade ESV is also based on the Suburban platform.
The Suburban has a reputation as a soccer mom vehicle. This was not always the case, only recently has this become a common sighting. The Suburban has become the soccer Mom vehicle in the past decade or so because the Suburban has gone the way of most SUVs. These days they're full of luxury bits and electronic gizmos that make it easier for soccer moms to drive them. Leather, heated seats, rear camera, power lift gate, remote start and push button electronic four wheel drive. The Suburban used to be a large vehicle that the soccer Moms were intimidated by because of it's massive size, weight and fuel consumption. The Suburban is 18 ft. long and until such inventions as the rear camera and obstacle detection systems, was difficult to park.
The Suburban used to be a utilitarian vehicle with cloth bench seats that would allow you to haul 9 people with room for gear. The Suburban, the new ones, are a soccer Mom vehicle, used to shuttle little Billy to school and soccer practice. But a used Suburban, especially one more than 20 years old, can be had for as little as $1000. The pre-1992 models are inexpensive to lift as high as 12 inches. Parts are dirt cheap to buy in junk yards everywhere. The old Suburban is a real truck!
Guy1: So who's turn is it to drive for this weekend's fishing trip?
Guy2: I believe it's my turn, we'll take my truck.
Guy3: You have a truck? All I've ever seen you drive is your Cobalt.
Guy2: That's because I don't drive it every day, it's my spare vehicle.
Guy1: What kind of truck is it?
Guy2: It's a Chevy Suburban.
Guy3: (laughs) Do you have to ask permission from the wife to see if little Johnny has a soccer game before you can take it to go fishing?
Guy2: No. I don't have any kids and my wife hates the Suburban. She drove it once and she hates it.
Guy1: What year is it?
Guy2: It's a Ninety Four with a big block.
EMT, Firefighter or EMT\Firefighter who has a lot of flashing blue or red halogen, strobe or L.E.D lights on their vehicle so that you can see them from a mile away, has at least 1 mobile\hand held scanner or two way radio, wears their squad jacket everywhere in the winter, wears squad\fire department t-shirt every day in the summer. Can be easily spotted by the presence of several pagers on their belt from several different fire departments and\or squads because they want to claim that they run more calls than anyone else. They don't just show up for the good calls, but they get especially excited upon hearing the words "structure fire" or "MVA with entrapment". Often the first person at the squad building or the firehouse when the call goes out because they were listening to their scanner or radio.
Firefighter 1: Hey, man, have you met the new guy yet?
Firefighter 2: Yeah, he's already a member at 2 other fire departments before he joined here.
Firefighter 1: What a whacker!
1. Pertaining to the rear.
2. Where poop comes from.
I can't believe you licked her bungy.
A jackass, one who has bong smoke of the brain, a person who is a complete moron.
Look at that war protester, he is a real fuckernutter.
1. An EMT that doesn't do patient care in the back of the rig. Often found at medical transport companies but sometimes find their way onto a squad, they will show up for their shift incredibly early so as to beat their partner to the dispatch office and be the first one to take the keys. Will proceed to hold a death grip on those keys until the end of the shift, not letting them out of their sight for a single second. Have selective hearing of such words as "it's my turn to drive now", "it's your turn to be in the back" or "How about we switch places on this run?". Will often use such phrases as "Dispatch told me not to let you drive", "I was in the back all day yesterday" or the ever popular "The senior man always drives the rig."
2. What stupid people call EMTs and Paramedics, especially those employed in medical transport.
1. EMT1: Hey, who's your partner today?
EMT2: (Looks at paper) Ummm, I've got Vicky today.
EMT1: (laughs) Have fun, I had her yesterday, she is such an ambulance driver.
EMT2: Awww, damn it!
2. Stupid Girl: So tell me about yourself, what do you do for a living?
EMT Guy: I work for ABC Medical Transport.
Stupid Girl: Oh, like one of those ambulance drivers I see at the hospital?
EMT Guy: No, genius, I'm an EMT, an Emergency Medical Technichan. Working at ABC is just a job until I finish paramedic school and get a real job.
Stupid Girl: Para what?
EMT Guy: Nevermind!
A large breed dog such as a German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Doberman, Pit Bull, etc. that will foil an attempt to burglarize your house by making a chew toy out of said burglar. Ninety Nine times out of a hundred, the sight and sound of the four legged alarm system on the other side of the door would be more than enough to deter a potential burglar into looking elsewhere for an easy target. The four legged alarm system can also double as a car alarm as well personal protection against muggers and\or rapists while walking alone in the dark. Highly effective when the four legged alarm system is given a junkyard dog name such as "Scraps" or "Tiny".
I live in a crummy neighborhood but I've never been robbed since I've been here, because I have a four legged alarm system, a 130 pound German Shepherd that barks and growls fiercely at anyone with dark skin that walks by!
Rapidly flashing or rotating blue, red, white, amber or green (depedning on the state) halogen, strobe or L.E.D lights found on the vehicles of volunteer fire fighters and EMTs to be used in responding to the scene or the squad building\firehouse. Most states refer to them as "courtesy lights" which means the volunteer is asking traffic to pull over to let him by but they are not required to by law. In some states, volunteers responding in their personal vehicles are supposed to be given the same right of way as an Emergency Vehicle. Some volunteers don't use them (such as those that live close to the building) and some have just one, placed in the center of the dashboard or windshield. A volunteer who is considered a whacker
may have half a dozen or more of these flashing and rotating lights. Hence the courtesy light became known as Whacker Lights.
(Brightly lit vehicle with flashing blue lights flys by as two men stand outside on the sidewalk)
Neighbor1: What the hell was that?!
Neighbor2: That was John from 106, he's with the fire department. He's got a dozen and half of those Whacker Lights on his pickup.
Neighbor1: Fuck, that's bright!