Incest is best
My cells are same as your cells,
Your cells are same as mine.
If you don't mind me sayin',
I think your ass is fine.
You've got our Mummy's body
You've got our Daddy's eyes.
But where, oh, where di you get
Those breasts of such great size?
From 'Incest is Best' by Fearcher Maclean
A party game for the very drunk and very knuckleheaded.
1. Several (3 or more) girls lie on the floor/bed naked.
2. The contestant is blindfolded.
3. The contestant then proceeds to eat out each girl's muff.
4. The aim of the game is for the contestant to correctly guess who he/she is licking out by the taste of the clam and/or the squeals of pleasure (or pain in the case of novices) of the muff owners.
John's skill at blind man's muff was totally astounding. Even when completely slaughtered on the best booze and drugs he still managed to guess every accomplice's identity.
Me! I am a total and utter Neek and fiercely proud of it, thank you very much. Neeks are cool people who are somehow mistaken for uncool/dipshit-style-losers by proud owners of Croydon Facelifts and M.C. skills ("Boo-yaah, I deck you man, boo boo, aw naw heavy bled, innit innit yeah I is heavy, you is...shit bled top neeky man you're gay. Gay gay gay gay gay. But me is not gay. Me is horny. Yes bled heavy"). Neek is derived from 'nerd' and 'geek' both meaning approximately the same thing i.e. clever (so all of a sudden it's a bad thing to possess a brain and be capable of intelligent thought?). The point is, if you get called a neek, be proud. It doesn't mean anything negative, it's townies resenting your superior mental capacity.
"Stop dancing u neek"
"No, fuck off, but thanks for recognising my neekiness"
*walks off*"You're gay"
"yes, very much so."
*breaks into run to confer "heavy heavy" to crew*
Man, this band kicks utter ass. All four are great musicians, but my personal favourite is Phil, the rhythm guitarist who looks a bit woman-like. But Christian, the other guitarist, does some kick-ass solos. Despite looking like a horse.
I am seeing them live in 5 days, and can't wait at all.
Particularly good songs: Blacken My Thumb, Sittin' Pretty, Motherfucker from Hell and Transistor.
Argh! Datsun-ness-ness-ness-ness on Thursday! Aaaaaargh! Omg, yay!
and old punk dance when you collapse on the floor and twitch in time to the music
So you'd be at this punk all-dayer, and you'd feel something at your foot while you are pogoing. You look down to see someone doing the dead fly. Without a moment's thought you stamp on the fucker's face
The greatest sex shop IN THE WORLD! you can get lost in there for hours, and as soon as you leave it you will be nostalgic. It's a magical world where men walk around naked with silk blindfolds on and women walk around either in leather dominatrix gear or in frilly delicate lingerie. Brandishing silver and crystal dildos.
Spent two hours in there today
The juice that's left over in your underpants after you rip a mean fart.
I can't eat Mexican, that shit gives me bomb sauce...