31 definitions by Hedley Clubnobber

Top Definition
Arrive on holday, never leave. Best city in Britian but not for the reasons the politicians would have you believe. Usual scattering of council estate dumping grouds that politics forgot. Made better by the fact that hunderds of thousands of Valley folk come here every week to work, shop and entertain the locals. Full of amazing Welsh women. The graveyard of ambition. With the Beacons to the north, sea to the south and Llanelli to the west, why on earth would you want to go east?
Famous for:
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 13, 2006
Trickster, highwayman, mugger, pick-pocket, sexually confused, conscience-free zone; possibly male or female, but likely to be lying about about it either way. intellectually stupid but with acute animal cunning. Knows only money thus major coporate-parties are able to slit the throats of generations yet to come without concern. In Britain politicians are not so much 'elected' as 'selected'. Often associated with child molestation, prostitution, murder, swindling, refuse, robbery, violence and fund raising bingo nights, when they put on a venere of humanity. As false as the shine on Satan's wings.
Labour, Conservative & Liberal - Britian's political Unholy Trinity.

Trustworthy politician = a contradiction in terms
by Hedley Clubnobber August 26, 2006
A chafer: one whose weight is so extreme that the legs grate together or 'chaf'. Usually associated with a gravity affected ass, almost on the floor.
S/he's enormous, what a chafer!
by Hedley Clubnobber August 26, 2006
Words will have to do....'Grim Up North' could've been written for this collection of stones. Nice on the outskirts but otherwise a sunami of chavness and thus a cultural wastland. It could indeed be the quintessential 'classless society' due to an extraordinary lack of style. Everything that socialism was meant to be! 'God-forsaken' would suggest the Almighty actually had been there once and so deliberately left it, which most authorities seriously doubt. A mix of Yorkshire rejects, Manchester overspill-uber-scum and the North Asian sub-continent. Market day reminding one strongly of the Orc army battle scenes in 'Lord of the Ringroads'.
Q. How do you know a girl from Oldham is having an orgasm?

A. She drops her chips.
by Hedley Clubnobber July 29, 2006
Small town/village in West Wales UK, that somehow, against all the odds, remains human, friendly and welcoming. You'll hear Welsh spoken just about everywhere by locals and not just by pretentious, crachach-welsh-wannabe-shit-heads from Cardiff. Some great pubs with great real ale, all in easy staggering distance of each other; so not just mass produced crap served to chavs, that drives you mental (which we hope they will continue serving to chavs, of course).
Sheep & cattle auction right next to the main street; how cool is that? Most locals have abandoned fashion in favour of having a life. Cool hippie shops and cafs galore.
Newcastle Emlyn; lets hope the English don't ruin it.

diolch o galon
by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006
Mental certainty. Fun at the start, never at the end. Someone who brings fireworks to Armageddon.
a. 'that's fundamentalist nonesense?!'

b. 'in the name of the Prince of Peace, die you doubter!'
by Hedley Clubnobber August 26, 2006
Something which, if considered good, cannot ever be used in a democratic society, the plural of which can only be prevented by joining any major political party. Something which a 'chav' never gets but a human may have when staring down to the bottom of an empty beer glass.
a. 'That's a good idea, Prime Minister'.

b. 'You swine!'.
by Hedley Clubnobber August 26, 2006

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