25 definitions by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover
The self-proclaimed capital of weirdness in the USA. Proud home of hipsters, stoners, fat people and fat stoned hipsters. The people pretend to care about the environment despite managing to turn a beautiful spot in the middle of forest, which was just about the prettiest place on earth, into a sea of giant concrete rectangles that reeks of air pollution. When you cross over the Columbia River to Washington, you immediately notice that the air gets cleaner, the rivers get bluer, and so do the skies. Overall the surrounding vicinities of Portland are a great place for kayaking, fishing and hiking. Enter the city itself at your own risk: it's basically a cheaper, shittier version of Seattle, but at least Seattle has the sea planes...
You know you've been in Portland for too long when you realize your waitress at a restaurant has an Adam's Apple.
by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover August 20, 2023
1. Any whimsical/common event that occurs in the popular browser game slither.io.
2. A similar phenomenon to any of such events occurring in a similar game such as Splix or PowerLine.
Examples of slither.io moments include:
A) The chaos that ensues after a very large snake dies, often lasting for several minutes as many noobies quickly get big and reach the leaderboard, then die soon after, rinse and repeat. This generally happens near the map's center.
B) When most of the leaderboard consists of angry morons caught up in the dark crevasse of mainstream US politics. Names used by such players include: "BIDEN IS A TRAITOR" "MAGAS ARE RETARDED" "SEND TRUMP TO JAIL" "TO HELL WITH THE DEMONRATS (sic)". Even if you suck at the game, you're advised to kill any such player you see. Religious names don't count.
C) A moment when a massive snake somehow dies to a tiny player who just entered the game. These little powerhouses often rise to dominate the leaderboard, and I respect them with my whole heart.
D) A moment when you are merely minding your own business and several snakes all smash into your tail at once. This is far more common in a suicidal slither knockoff (powerline.io) due to its extreme lag, but it still counts, probably.
E) In the browser version of slither.io, the network lag is infamously horrible. Often times the game completely freezes for a few seconds, and when it resumes, you discover you randomly died during your disconnection.
2. A similar phenomenon to any of such events occurring in a similar game such as Splix or PowerLine.
Examples of slither.io moments include:
A) The chaos that ensues after a very large snake dies, often lasting for several minutes as many noobies quickly get big and reach the leaderboard, then die soon after, rinse and repeat. This generally happens near the map's center.
B) When most of the leaderboard consists of angry morons caught up in the dark crevasse of mainstream US politics. Names used by such players include: "BIDEN IS A TRAITOR" "MAGAS ARE RETARDED" "SEND TRUMP TO JAIL" "TO HELL WITH THE DEMONRATS (sic)". Even if you suck at the game, you're advised to kill any such player you see. Religious names don't count.
C) A moment when a massive snake somehow dies to a tiny player who just entered the game. These little powerhouses often rise to dominate the leaderboard, and I respect them with my whole heart.
D) A moment when you are merely minding your own business and several snakes all smash into your tail at once. This is far more common in a suicidal slither knockoff (powerline.io) due to its extreme lag, but it still counts, probably.
E) In the browser version of slither.io, the network lag is infamously horrible. Often times the game completely freezes for a few seconds, and when it resumes, you discover you randomly died during your disconnection.
*gets to 25,000 length and #1 on the leaderboard*
*gets killed by snake with 23 XP*
*slither.io moment*
*clenches fist and grits teeth*
*opens mouth wide open and deeply inhales*
*eyes get red and veiny*
*heart begins to throb in chest*
*ears begin to inexplicably ring*
*hands and feet begin to curl back*
*tears in eyes, face turns red and wrinkly*
*arms get as veiny as an erect penis*
*dick and balls get extra warm, completely retract into pelvis*
*brain is electrically charged at 5000 volts*
*inhales even more, nearly beginning to shrivel*
(audible for miles, echoes all over) SLIIIITHER.IOOOOOOO MOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEENTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
*goes into rage and tries to punch a hole through keyboard*
*pounds with all might and overflowing adrenaline*
*shock causes a 9.3 Richter scale earthquake instead*
*tidal waves immediately erupt all over the world*
*the earth's magnetic field does a backflip*
*entire planet explodes*
*sighs loudly*
*drops flat into a coma*
*dies*
all becuase of a stupid snake game
*gets killed by snake with 23 XP*
*slither.io moment*
*clenches fist and grits teeth*
*opens mouth wide open and deeply inhales*
*eyes get red and veiny*
*heart begins to throb in chest*
*ears begin to inexplicably ring*
*hands and feet begin to curl back*
*tears in eyes, face turns red and wrinkly*
*arms get as veiny as an erect penis*
*dick and balls get extra warm, completely retract into pelvis*
*brain is electrically charged at 5000 volts*
*inhales even more, nearly beginning to shrivel*
(audible for miles, echoes all over) SLIIIITHER.IOOOOOOO MOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEENTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
*goes into rage and tries to punch a hole through keyboard*
*pounds with all might and overflowing adrenaline*
*shock causes a 9.3 Richter scale earthquake instead*
*tidal waves immediately erupt all over the world*
*the earth's magnetic field does a backflip*
*entire planet explodes*
*sighs loudly*
*drops flat into a coma*
*dies*
all becuase of a stupid snake game
by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover September 10, 2023
A drawing game mostly played by little kids. Anyone older than 15 can easily control a game. Expect large amounts of penises, boobies, Among Us and Homer Simpson.
by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover September 2, 2023
A diary of a wimpy kid reference that kids at my high school won’t stop mentioning. Originated from the seventh book, “The Third Wheel”, which I still think of as the new one despite there being like fifteen or twenty books in the series nowadays. Likely slowly spreading across the entire state of california as we speak.
Guy 1: THERE’S MONKEYS IN THE WALLS!
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: THERE’S MONEKYS! IN THE WALLS! (Louder!)
Guy 2: Bro, you’re going insane.
Guy 1: it’s bigger than black and white, I ate the whole whale’s life
Guy 2: I’m pretty sure it’s… uh… what the hell even is that from?
*Both random ventura county dudes die*
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: THERE’S MONEKYS! IN THE WALLS! (Louder!)
Guy 2: Bro, you’re going insane.
Guy 1: it’s bigger than black and white, I ate the whole whale’s life
Guy 2: I’m pretty sure it’s… uh… what the hell even is that from?
*Both random ventura county dudes die*
by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover August 9, 2023
The most ridiculously difficult game you will ever play, on a website called neal.fun. Dark souls has no shit on this game. I would never force my worst enemies to play this game, even that is far too cruel a punishment. You must make a password that involves guessing a country feeding a virtual pet chicken constantly, and solving that one damn puzzle game called wordle for some reason. Very few people have actually
by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover August 17, 2023
by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover October 27, 2023
If Australia is upside down, then half Australians are sideways and quarter Australians are diagonal.
by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover September 3, 2023