A dump brewed in bowels of satan himself. Ocurrs only after a skinful (8-12 pints). This putrid, jet black shit is cemented into an unbreakable log that is as wide and as thick as a gorillas forearm. Not only does this defecation leave your arse in tatters due to it's colossal size, they tend to be blisteringly hot, singing pubic hair and leaving the ring red raw, making it near impossible to wipe. An allround thoroughly unpleasant experience.
Dave: Alright steve? You were in the bog for about 2 hours.
Steve: I was having a beer poo, my arse is in shreds. It's burnt the hair off the underside of my testes.
Dave: How many did you have last night?
Steve: 10. It was so big one end of the shit was in the U-bend whilst the other was still packed into my bowels.