When your own shit is telling you that you are out of control. Somebody whose shit is so out of control that unbeknownst to them they are walking around with severe shit stains on their pants …..not to be confused with skid marks
….these stains are so severe crap is oozing out the back of your pants and can be seen by any unfortunate individual standing or walking behind you. This type of intervention
is most common amongst substance abusers and others afflicted with mental diseases that distort ones perceptions of reality. When faced with a Crappervention, the individual frequently responds with steadfast denial and assert they simply need to apply a little deodorant. Realistically they have not bathed, showered, changed their clothes, or wiped their own ass for days! The only cure for this condition is getting one’s shit under control…e.g….sobriety and/or taking medication as prescribed by a licensed physician. Please help spread the word, children of god, if you see shit creeping out of the back of your pants, listen to and trust what your shit is telling you, it is time to stop and park your ass at the nearest rehab facility.
Wife: Ralph you need to pull your shit together.
Ralph: I don’t know what you are talking about there is nothing wrong with me. You are simply looking for faults…picking on me….you ungrateful bitch!!
Wife: Ralph I just went to throw your pants in the wash and there were shit stains bleeding through the butt….OMFG you wore those things to work on Monday I certainly hope your boss and colleagues didn’t notice. Dude I think you just had a Crappervention!
Ralph: No I didn’t …..That is simply a skid mark
….you’re so exaggerating bitch!!
Sexually Incompatible Syndrome a/k/a SIS A condition that occurs between two completely unsuspecting individuals, that otherwise seem to have the perfect ingredients for an extremely successful romance, and instead it turns into a SISmance. Only cure is abstinence and despite any hopes of the condition resolving it is a lifelong chronic condition. Not to be confused with other sexual conditions that are commonly symptomatic of SIS Syndrome, i.e…. Erectile dysfunction
, Premature ejaculation
, Inhibited or hypoactive sexual desire. What makes SIS Syndrome unique is the male partner has normal sexual intercourse with other women, even women he is not remotely attracted to, it simply is his SIS mate that he totally digs on all levels yet is frustratingly unable to complete the act of sexual intercourse with her. The syndrome is frequently overlooked after a couple unsuccessful encounters and instead blamed on drug induced conditions like intoxication. However after many failed attempts, and mornings of feeling completely unfulfilled, it becomes apparent the couple suffer from SIS. The SIS couple typically decide to remain friends, continue to dine, laugh, and flirt, although abandon any further attempts at sexual intercourse. On rare occasions the friendship simply can not survive the disturbing memories of the frustrating failed attempts at sexual intercourse.
Sexually Incompatible Syndrome a/k/a SIS
a/k/a Sexually Incompatible Sister Syndrome (SISS)
I met this great guy we totally hit it off, same circle of friends, talkamania, laughamania textamania, kissamania for weeks. I’m sexually attracted to him, he cant keep his hands off of me, but when it comes to putting it in and finishing the job he’s a total no show... its like I turn into his Sister….damn SIS
Syndrome! I even caught up with him a decade later and it was like twilight zone…. déjà fuckin vu!
When a person goes out for a quick drink with a friend and the next thing he knows his one drink turns into five and he ends up completely intoxicated and laid out on a barstool. Typically leads to an unexpected late night despite having numerous early morning engagements.
Bill: Hey Dude, what the hell happened to you last night...I didn't even know you were coming out!?
Brandon: Me neither, just thought i would meet up with Hayden for a quick beer....next thing I know I am totally wasted in the corner with a lampshade over my head! Damn...I havent been that Blindsided Drunk
Bill: Hope you didn't have a Court appearance this morning?
Brandon: Actually I did...I have never showed up for Court that intoxicated and/or hungover.....but my shit still prevailed!
When a dog, more commonly young dog, takes advantage of being left unattended for hours, minutes, even milliseconds, and impulsively even frantically starts to swallow everything in site, specifically but not limited to, socks, shoes, garbage cans, cups, toilets, lamps, furniture legs, homework, condoms and the carpet.
Gus: Fucking Fuck….I leave the house to take out the trash and you DOGGULP
the entire fuckin room?!?!
Tom a/k/a Dog: Initially runs to owner with tail wagging and Doggulping a camel back, sensing urgency dog quickly retreats to corner to get one last chew in.
Gus: Dude you had to zero in on another camel back? Shit Dog, 100% cagervention time for you!