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EternalSoldier's definitions

Nazarbayev Nutcracker

A solid square kick in the groin. Named after an incident in 2006 in which Nursultan Nazarbayev, President of Kazakhstan, kicked a filmmaker in the nuts in retaliation for making some weird "documentary."
Guy 1: So I went to her place, and my dick's still sore.
Guy 2: Nice!
Guy 1: No. It was not.
Guy 2: Why?
Guy 1: She gave me the Nazarbayev Nutcracker. :(
by EternalSoldier February 24, 2025
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Tauzza

Two pizzas. Derived from Tau = 2 * Pi, tauzza is slowly replacing pizza as a unit of measure of the number of pies delivered to parties and other events.
Domino Hut: Hello. How may we take your order?
Customer: Yeah, I will order one cheese tauzza with mushrooms, please
Domino Hut: So that's two cheese pizzas with mushrooms?
Customer: Yeah.
by EternalSoldier June 30, 2024
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lolikhan

A Mongolian or other Central Asian lolicon. Feared by many, a typical lolikhan has served time in prison multiple times, yet they always return for some more degeneracy.
Batzorig: Hey man, that guy's a bit shifty. What do you say?
Khorloogiin: He's a fucking lolikhan. Fucking watches that shit at e-cafes in Ulaanbaatar.
Batzorig: Fuck him then!
by EternalSoldier October 2, 2023
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Rectalysis

A thorough dissection of a given idea down to its etymology, history, and countless bullshit considered ancillary to said idea. Considered on par with dissertations in academia, rectalyses are provided by Masters and honors undergraduate students seeking admission to medical school and are proctored by... well, proctologists and other MDs.
Jeffrey: How was that exam? You don't look good.
Adam: Bruh, I don't feel good! I got the worst rectalysis of my lifetime. Poor bum's gonna be sore this week. :(
by EternalSoldier November 26, 2024
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Gangnam Gyattling Gun

A Gangnam Gyattling Gun is a sudden, persistent bowel movement caused by spicy Korean food which takes over ten minutes to clear. Gangnam Gyattling Guns are prevalent amongst the younger Zoomer demographic and typically (but not always) take place on Skibidi Shitters.
Dude 1: How was lunch?
Dude 2: Not well. I took a Gangnam Gyattling Gun five minutes ago. The shitter's overflowing at this point.
Dude 1: Oh, hell no!
by EternalSoldier June 4, 2024
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Nobusuke Kishi

Japan's worst fucking prime minister. Responsible for the systematic exploitation and murders of millions of Manchurians in the 1930s. Also was Shinzo Abe's paternal grandfather. Kishi probably whacked it to loli hentai as well, or would have if it existed.
Nobusuke Kishi was an evil man. Thank god the Anpo protests occurred.
by EternalSoldier April 10, 2024
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The 'Nam

A state of paranoia induced by constant ambushes, bombings, and enemy propaganda. Named after the Viet Nam war in which American GIs heard their names whispered amongst the trees.
Dr. Dingleberry: He's been living with The 'Nam ever since 1973, Ms. Campbell.
Campbell: Shit!
by EternalSoldier July 7, 2023
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