EternalSoldier's definitions

Tauzza

Two pizzas. Since tau is defined as 2 * pi, it follows that one tauzza equals 2 pizzas. Coined by Dr. Tao at a New Jersey Institute of Technology Department of Mathematical Sciences pizza party, one tauzza represents a more concise descriptor of how many pizzas one should order.

Customer: I would like one cheese tauzza and breadsticks, please.
Pizzeria Clerk: What the fuck did he say?
Pizzeria Manager: I don't fucking know.

by EternalSoldier November 24, 2023

The 'Nam

A state of paranoia induced by constant ambushes, bombings, and enemy propaganda. Named after the Viet Nam war in which American GIs heard their names whispered amongst the trees.

Dr. Dingleberry: He's been living with The 'Nam ever since 1973, Ms. Campbell.
Campbell: Shit!

by EternalSoldier July 7, 2023

lolikhan

A Mongolian or other Central Asian lolicon. Feared by many, a typical lolikhan has served time in prison multiple times, yet they always return for some more degeneracy.

Batzorig: Hey man, that guy's a bit shifty. What do you say?
Khorloogiin: He's a fucking lolikhan. Fucking watches that shit at e-cafes in Ulaanbaatar.
Batzorig: Fuck him then!

by EternalSoldier October 2, 2023

Rectalysis

A thorough dissection of a given idea down to its etymology, history, and countless bullshit considered ancillary to said idea. Considered on par with dissertations in academia, rectalyses are provided by Masters and honors undergraduate students seeking admission to medical school and are proctored by... well, proctologists and other MDs.

Jeffrey: How was that exam? You don't look good.
Adam: Bruh, I don't feel good! I got the worst rectalysis of my lifetime. Poor bum's gonna be sore this week. :(

by EternalSoldier November 26, 2024

Shinzo Abe Special

An improvised shotgun typically forged from scrap metal and intended for a single engagement. Shinzo Abe Specials take after so-called Saturday Night Specials, which are shitty D-tier handguns fulfilling their analogous roles.

Named after the improvised shotgun that took Shinzo Abe's life in 2022 while the fucker was campaigning in the streets.

Kenzo: Yo! I heard the Prime Minister of Brazilistan got shot!
Kenji: Yeah, the bastard used a Shinzo Abe special.
Kenzo: Shit!

by EternalSoldier December 4, 2024

Ace's High

A rush of adrenaline-induced euphoria experienced by high-speed, low-flying jet fighter pilots dodging incoming missiles, flak, and small arms fire as they zero in on their target. Missions known to trigger Ace's High episodes range from F-16s destroying reactor sites in Iraq, to spacefaring vessels running along a battle planetoid's equator in search of a juicy exhaust port; all the way to Ukrainian drones finding a thicc Russian tonk.

The antithesis of Ace's High is The 'Nam. Naturally.

Dickey: Wasn't your great great grandpappy a fighter pilot?
Mitch: Hell yes he was! He always shared stories about his Ace's High experiences during the Battle of Britain. Always said it helped him kick his heroin habit.
Dickey: Hm. I should join some African air carrier. Or Spirit Airlines...

by EternalSoldier July 2, 2025

Nazarbayev Nutcracker

A solid square kick in the groin. Named after an incident in 2006 in which Nursultan Nazarbayev, President of Kazakhstan, kicked a filmmaker in the nuts in retaliation for making some weird "documentary."

Guy 1: So I went to her place, and my dick's still sore.
Guy 2: Nice!
Guy 1: No. It was not.
Guy 2: Why?
Guy 1: She gave me the Nazarbayev Nutcracker. :(

by EternalSoldier February 24, 2025