The more a politician speaks out against gays and gay rights, the more likely he is to be gay himself.
Dude, that Senator is beating up on gays. He just following Newton's 4th law of political dynamics. He must be gay.
A person who claims to be in an emergency situation and needs to need to stay in your house for a day or two until they find a permanent place and then never leaves until you threaten to call the police.
Hey, who's the girl in the corner texting?" She's a house burrower who has to leave by tonight or I'll call the police
The more a politician says he stands for family values, the more likely he is to cheat on his wife.
That Congressman is screaming he stands for family values. Yeah, he's following Newton's 5th law of political dynamics and must be banging his assistant
Accidental farting in a public place. Old people and women in gynecological positions are especially prone to this.
“Wow, was I embarrassed at my last gynecology appointment. I axifarted in the doctor’s face and it stank really badly.”
Looking for a date or true love on-line. This action is a combination of fishing and shopping and usually ends up catching bottom feeders and crazies who, when seen in person, look nothing like their listed physical appearance. The shopees REALLY hope that their old 50 is the new 40 and the fisherperson will never find out.
“Hey, girl, who was that fat guy I saw you with at Starbucks. I got stuck with him after fishopping on Match”.
The removal of an airplane traveler from a security line and being placed in a plastic holding cage for a long time because the alarm was set off by the traveler's hip implant. This occurs regardless of any medical documentation showing the presence of the hip implant and results in long delays and intensive body searches.
"Hey, what took you so long to get to the gate for the flight." " I was the object of hip profiling and was patted down for 10 minutes"