21 definitions by El Conquistador
Having worked underground for many years, Chad was keenly aware of the need for sun light to live a healthy life. Chad tried spending more time outdoors and even shaved his head in an attempt to absorb more rays. Turns out the solution was right behind him the whole time. He decided to lay down in his front yard, completely naked, pull his knees back to his ears and aim his shit socket directly at the sun. Chad’s bung pulled in rays like a satellite dish. After only 30 seconds he had more energy than a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck. Chad’s discovery, the “solar rim job” if you will, could just be the free energy solution the world has been waiting for.
by El Conquistador July 2, 2023
by El Conquistador July 13, 2017
Performing a violent hand job on the gentleman to your left and the gentleman to your right, at the same time, flapping your arms like an Angry Pterodactyl taking off from a rocky ledge.
Angry Pterodactyl; a nursery rhyme.
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two
Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two
Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block
by El Conquistador May 4, 2021
The act of performing a violent hand job on the gentleman to your left and the gentleman to your right, simultaneously, while flapping your arms like a prehistoric bird taking off from a rocky cliff.
Angry Pterodactyl; a nursery rhyme.
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two
Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two
Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block
by El Conquistador May 5, 2021
A large load of jizm delivered to the back of ones throat, covering the uvula and tonsils in warm, thick, well churned sperm milk. Not to be confused with the low fat version, I Can’t Believe it’s not Tonsil Butter.
Stuck at work late at night, Cody and Ryan needed a quick snack. All they had in the fridge, of course, was some cheap canned biscuits and eleven jars of grape jelly. Cody started to cry as his hunger pains told him that would not be enough to satisfy him. Ryan wanted to help his friend, so he offered to whip up a fresh batch of tonsil butter for Cody. He gladly accepted Ryan’s generous offering of tonsil butter with enthusiasm. Cody was so moved he was speechless. With a tear in his eye and a lump in his throat, he gave Ryan a big bear hug. Of course Ryan, always the giver, didn’t know who was more satisfied; Cody for the receiving or himself the giving.
by El Conquistador February 20, 2020
Performing a violent hand job on the gentleman to your left and the gentleman to your right, all while throating a third gentleman in the middle. Basically a modified Angry Pterodactyl with a hands free tonsil punch.
A poem dedicated to our friend Fast Pat, because we know he can take a joke.
Reach to your left and grab Cody by the root.
Wrap your fingers around like you wanna play a flute.
Riggs is here now and he wants to play too.
Two at a time ain’t no challenge for you.
Hold up, you’re not done working.
There’s more to an Angry Triceratops than just a bunch of jerking.
Doty is on deck and he’s full to the rim.
He hasn’t had booger since booger had him.
So plant two lips and work down to the scrotum.
You’ve been dreaming of this ever since you know’d him.
Now get to beating, like those dicks owe you money.
Beat ‘em so angry, they start cummin’ runny.
Don’t forget the middle man, he’s not there for the show.
It’s all about suction, they just call it a blow.
Breathe through your nose and don’t stop till it pops.
Show us why you’re the best, Angry Triceratops.
Reach to your left and grab Cody by the root.
Wrap your fingers around like you wanna play a flute.
Riggs is here now and he wants to play too.
Two at a time ain’t no challenge for you.
Hold up, you’re not done working.
There’s more to an Angry Triceratops than just a bunch of jerking.
Doty is on deck and he’s full to the rim.
He hasn’t had booger since booger had him.
So plant two lips and work down to the scrotum.
You’ve been dreaming of this ever since you know’d him.
Now get to beating, like those dicks owe you money.
Beat ‘em so angry, they start cummin’ runny.
Don’t forget the middle man, he’s not there for the show.
It’s all about suction, they just call it a blow.
Breathe through your nose and don’t stop till it pops.
Show us why you’re the best, Angry Triceratops.
by El Conquistador July 29, 2023
I love it when my GF holds my runt ball in her mouth and hums the national anthem. God bless America!
by El Conquistador July 10, 2017