141 definitions by Dusty's Baby Powder
A volcano that spews hearts. A Valentine Volcano is most often seen at a senior center when two older people are very much in love, such as is seen with Beatrice Middleton and her boyfriend, Hec Hanley. A Valentine Volcano is very hard to stop; when it erupts, look out! Your heart will be on fire.
Beatrice: Wow! There's a Valentine Volcano out here. (she kisses Hec)
Hec: Whoah! Good one! Super-charged. You know there must be tons of Valentine Volcanoes around here.
Beatrice: Look where we are. We're at the Senior Center. There's some sweet stuff going on here.
Elsie: This is gonna be a great date! Would you dance with me?
Hec: (switches on 'Love Me Tender') This is a real volcano. Careful now, we're gonna get burned!
Beatrice: Its not that type of volcano. Would you be my Valentine, sweetie? (she sits down and starts rubbing Hec with some Martian Mud)
Hec: Of course I'll be your Valentine. You know I love you. We're both former Marines here. Semper Fi!
Beatrice: Yes, we almost live by the same creed. Honor, courage, commitment - A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do! Valentine Volcanoes are hot!
Hec: Whoah! Good one! Super-charged. You know there must be tons of Valentine Volcanoes around here.
Beatrice: Look where we are. We're at the Senior Center. There's some sweet stuff going on here.
Elsie: This is gonna be a great date! Would you dance with me?
Hec: (switches on 'Love Me Tender') This is a real volcano. Careful now, we're gonna get burned!
Beatrice: Its not that type of volcano. Would you be my Valentine, sweetie? (she sits down and starts rubbing Hec with some Martian Mud)
Hec: Of course I'll be your Valentine. You know I love you. We're both former Marines here. Semper Fi!
Beatrice: Yes, we almost live by the same creed. Honor, courage, commitment - A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do! Valentine Volcanoes are hot!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 3, 2011
A painful lower leg condition most notably suffered by Ben Hatley. Especially if he hasn't stretched before running. This condition is often very painful causing Ben to scream. A notable example of Bendinitis happened on May 12, 2006 when he didn't realize he and Liv were only stretching before running. But it can quickly be made up.
Ben: Oh no, I shouldn't have gone running. I've got a terrible Bendinitis.
Liv: Well, you should have stretched. A Liv Lean would have done it! Or maybe a Ben Ball. They stretch the shins.
Ben: Crazy cramp! Will this ever end? (he makes a seething sound as if it really hurts) Hey Liv, massage this for me, will you?
Liv: (laughing) Okay, okay, I'll massage it. Here, let me stretch it for you, too. Easy now, we'll get rid of that old Bendinitis. We'll send it back where it came from. It won't be coming back!
Ben: Whoah! Maybe you're right. A good stretch should do it. (he leans into a Ben Ball) That's the ticket. That's better.
Liv: I know. Bendinitis hurts! But, we can always make up for it. Just remember, Bendinitis hurts, so stretch it out first. (She laughs)
Liv: Well, you should have stretched. A Liv Lean would have done it! Or maybe a Ben Ball. They stretch the shins.
Ben: Crazy cramp! Will this ever end? (he makes a seething sound as if it really hurts) Hey Liv, massage this for me, will you?
Liv: (laughing) Okay, okay, I'll massage it. Here, let me stretch it for you, too. Easy now, we'll get rid of that old Bendinitis. We'll send it back where it came from. It won't be coming back!
Ben: Whoah! Maybe you're right. A good stretch should do it. (he leans into a Ben Ball) That's the ticket. That's better.
Liv: I know. Bendinitis hurts! But, we can always make up for it. Just remember, Bendinitis hurts, so stretch it out first. (She laughs)
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 9, 2011
its an abdominal exercise created and done by Ben Cranston. Done by standing someone on your chest and then doing a situp so they crunch against you.
Ben: Boy, this Cranston Crunch is a real ab killer!
Opal: What's a Cranston Crunch? I've never tried that.
Ben: You're gonna love it. Stand on my belly, I'll show you what it is.
Patty: Easy, dad, she might fall off.
Ben: (Laughing) Who cares?! Its a real gut buster.
Opal: What's a Cranston Crunch? I've never tried that.
Ben: You're gonna love it. Stand on my belly, I'll show you what it is.
Patty: Easy, dad, she might fall off.
Ben: (Laughing) Who cares?! Its a real gut buster.
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 1, 2010
A circuit training program which combines exercise with massage. This was created by Major Martha Halftrack, US Army (Ret.). Usually done in the mornings before her husband, Amos, gets up. It is very comforting. So, if you want comfort without a barrage, go to Camp Swampy and get a Marty Massage.
Marty: Hey Bryant, you look tired, honey. What can I do to wake you up? (Suddenly snaps her hand) I know, how about a Marty Massage? You love those!
Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)
Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.
Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?
Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!
Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!
Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.
Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.
Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!
Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)
Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.
Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?
Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!
Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!
Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.
Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.
Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 1, 2011
A form of baseball played by Beatrice Middleton and all the neighborhood kids. Often played in the street with her coaching. Grannyball is easy to play. After a run is scored the dogs come and move the bases further apart. Grannyball is most often played in the summer when the kids are out of school. You will love i! Beatrice Middleton told you! If you want a great game to play until fall grab your favorite granny and play Grannyball.
Beatrice: Hey Diego, Wilson, you two up for a game of Granyball? Its going to be fun.
Diego: What's Grannyball? I've never heard of it. Is it good to play?
Beatrice: Of course it is! Its great, I'll teach you! Its just like normal baseball, except played by a bunch of grannies. See?
Wilson: Dang, she's right. This is fun! She knows what she's doing. (He hits a ball) Sweet, homerun!
Beatrice: That's it. We'd better move the bases. (she whistles for the dogs) Come on in. (the dogs move the bases)
Diego: Wow! This game is fun. I'm gonna have to play it with my grandma. She would love it!
Beatrice: Hey, I'm your grandma. I'm both your grandmas. You love me like one! Grannyball is for everyone!
Wilson: You're right, Coach Beatrice, Grannyball rocks. It is the best game we've ever played.
Beatrice: Okay, now that the game's over, we need some exercise. Give me 50! Grannyball rocks! (they all drop to the ground and start doing push ups)
Diego: What's Grannyball? I've never heard of it. Is it good to play?
Beatrice: Of course it is! Its great, I'll teach you! Its just like normal baseball, except played by a bunch of grannies. See?
Wilson: Dang, she's right. This is fun! She knows what she's doing. (He hits a ball) Sweet, homerun!
Beatrice: That's it. We'd better move the bases. (she whistles for the dogs) Come on in. (the dogs move the bases)
Diego: Wow! This game is fun. I'm gonna have to play it with my grandma. She would love it!
Beatrice: Hey, I'm your grandma. I'm both your grandmas. You love me like one! Grannyball is for everyone!
Wilson: You're right, Coach Beatrice, Grannyball rocks. It is the best game we've ever played.
Beatrice: Okay, now that the game's over, we need some exercise. Give me 50! Grannyball rocks! (they all drop to the ground and start doing push ups)
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 25, 2011
A push up done by Ben Hatley. Done by holding one hand on the floor and pushing yourself only by one arm and only by the index finger. These are intensely hard to do. They can also be done against a wall. Its one of Ben's favorite exercises. So if you want arms no woman would want to leave, stand on one hand and do a Hatley Heave!
Ben: Hey Michael, look at this! I'm doing my Hatley Heave.
Michael: Wow! I never seen you do that. Its just a push up on one hand, right?
Ben: Yes, just lay down here and I'll show you what to do. (they both lie down) Push up on one hand and stick out your index finger. See how long you can hold it.
Michael: Woah, hard! I never thought that push ups could be so much fun!
Ben: Well, you're Grandpa is a big old bear. I've been doing push ups for years. And this is my favorite kind. You can't go wrong with a Hatley Heave!
Michael: (does another Hatley Heave) Yes! They're awesome! I'm gonna have to tell Nick about this. Maybe Alec, too. They'll like it.
Ben: The Hatley Heave is hot! Bicep inferno!
Michael: Wow! I never seen you do that. Its just a push up on one hand, right?
Ben: Yes, just lay down here and I'll show you what to do. (they both lie down) Push up on one hand and stick out your index finger. See how long you can hold it.
Michael: Woah, hard! I never thought that push ups could be so much fun!
Ben: Well, you're Grandpa is a big old bear. I've been doing push ups for years. And this is my favorite kind. You can't go wrong with a Hatley Heave!
Michael: (does another Hatley Heave) Yes! They're awesome! I'm gonna have to tell Nick about this. Maybe Alec, too. They'll like it.
Ben: The Hatley Heave is hot! Bicep inferno!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 7, 2011
A sweatsuit that is worn by Ed Crankshaft. Actually, it is made of his everyday clothes which include the following: red jacket, white dress shirt, black pants, white socks, and often black oxfords, but also sometimes white sneakers. The sneaker version was most recently worn the other day. Its a great outfit for everyday wear but also for exercise as well. Take it from a former Mudhen, if you want great clothes wear when the workout bug shoots, grab a Cranksuit, its a hoot!
Ed: Whoa, its a great day for a workout! I'd better get my Cranksuit on.
Pam: You wear your Cranksuit all the time. What's so special about working out in it?
Ed: Well, all you have to do is add sneakers and it goes into a sweatsuit. I love this baby! (bends over and touches his toes)
Mac: Hey, you two, what's up? I saw you exercising and I wanted to join in the fun. Look, I got my Mudhens on!
Ed: (still stretching himself) Sure, you don't have to have a Cranksuit. Is that one of my old Mudhen suits?
Mac: Yeah, I snuck into your house and grabbed one out of your closet. I hope you don't care.
Ed: Yeah, whether you have a Cranksuit or not its a great day to stretch! First one to the hot dog stand is a dirty Mudhen!
Pam: (starts laughing) Dad, you're gonna get it! Watch out! (she starts jogging after him) You dirty bird!
Mac: Now, now, now. Don't say that. I love him! He looks good in his Cranksuit.
Ed: Whew, what a workout! How about some hot dogs? My treat.
Pam: You wear your Cranksuit all the time. What's so special about working out in it?
Ed: Well, all you have to do is add sneakers and it goes into a sweatsuit. I love this baby! (bends over and touches his toes)
Mac: Hey, you two, what's up? I saw you exercising and I wanted to join in the fun. Look, I got my Mudhens on!
Ed: (still stretching himself) Sure, you don't have to have a Cranksuit. Is that one of my old Mudhen suits?
Mac: Yeah, I snuck into your house and grabbed one out of your closet. I hope you don't care.
Ed: Yeah, whether you have a Cranksuit or not its a great day to stretch! First one to the hot dog stand is a dirty Mudhen!
Pam: (starts laughing) Dad, you're gonna get it! Watch out! (she starts jogging after him) You dirty bird!
Mac: Now, now, now. Don't say that. I love him! He looks good in his Cranksuit.
Ed: Whew, what a workout! How about some hot dogs? My treat.
by Dusty's Baby Powder July 17, 2011