7 definitions by Dr. Francisco baker
A loosely used medical term of liquid expelling from genital or anal region with the body having no control whatsoever. This happens in cases of the body after extreme orgasm or after the perineum area or area between the anus and genitalia is given extreme force. Such as a kick or a punch.
Jack was kicked in his goochand he's just shit him self.
24 hours later.
Jack is leaking like a fucking Broken pipe!
24 hours later.
Jack is leaking like a fucking Broken pipe!
by Dr. Francisco baker December 31, 2018
The rare term in an ER only.
Of how a young man usually between the ages of 16 to 27 will come in with damaged tissue on his penis. For the very specific reason of his girlfriend with braces. damaging his penis tissue, foreskin, ECT with a very poorly executed blowjob.
Of how a young man usually between the ages of 16 to 27 will come in with damaged tissue on his penis. For the very specific reason of his girlfriend with braces. damaging his penis tissue, foreskin, ECT with a very poorly executed blowjob.
Very true this happens.
I have had 8 cases in my entire career in emergency care.
But funniest was when a young man about 17 comes in and he has a hoodie tied around his waist and a girlfriend who will not speak following behind closely.
So I ask like every doctor ever " what's wrong ?" He says he will only tell me in private and his girlfriend has to come too. So I agree and take them to a private room.
He begins to explain that he was hanging out for a movie night while the girls parents were out to dinner, and that she wanted to be sexy for him, so she pulled down his pants and began to preform Palacio on him until pleasure turned to horrible pain. Then he showed me.
He said "looks like a razor blade blowjob" all I could do is help ease his pain and check him over to look for major damage and I asked if he was circumcised. He said "no"and I said "you are now." I turn to the girlfriend and ask if she had anything to show me. I grab a pan and she spits out the remaining tissue of what foreskin she had shredded when giving the blowjob.
The boyfriend looks in the pan and faints.
So I call all the parents and it was like watching comedy show. The parents of the girl looked like something out of doctor sues and the boys parents walk in to the ER dressed like a pimp and a hooker. But before the boy left he asked me one question that haunts me and makes me bust out laughing to this day. And I quote.
"Does this make me Jewish now?"
I have had 8 cases in my entire career in emergency care.
But funniest was when a young man about 17 comes in and he has a hoodie tied around his waist and a girlfriend who will not speak following behind closely.
So I ask like every doctor ever " what's wrong ?" He says he will only tell me in private and his girlfriend has to come too. So I agree and take them to a private room.
He begins to explain that he was hanging out for a movie night while the girls parents were out to dinner, and that she wanted to be sexy for him, so she pulled down his pants and began to preform Palacio on him until pleasure turned to horrible pain. Then he showed me.
He said "looks like a razor blade blowjob" all I could do is help ease his pain and check him over to look for major damage and I asked if he was circumcised. He said "no"and I said "you are now." I turn to the girlfriend and ask if she had anything to show me. I grab a pan and she spits out the remaining tissue of what foreskin she had shredded when giving the blowjob.
The boyfriend looks in the pan and faints.
So I call all the parents and it was like watching comedy show. The parents of the girl looked like something out of doctor sues and the boys parents walk in to the ER dressed like a pimp and a hooker. But before the boy left he asked me one question that haunts me and makes me bust out laughing to this day. And I quote.
"Does this make me Jewish now?"
by Dr. Francisco baker December 31, 2018
So as any of you who read this know im an ER doctor. And I've seen some shit but this takes the cake.
One night I'm in the ER and a woman comes in saying her butt hurts.
I say okay let me check you over.
I take her to a room and begin to look at her butt and at this point I could smell it.
It was a putrid smell of something pickled, rotting, or dead.
So I ask her has she eaten anything.
She says no.
I ask did you put something in your butt recently?
She says yes reluctantly.
Come to find out she had had fun with a pickle and never pulled it out. Instead it went further up her butt and was rotting.
After an hour and a very large bottle of magnesium citrate the rotted pickled probe came out.
After she left my nurse said it smelled like pickled ass. She had no clue how close she was.
One night I'm in the ER and a woman comes in saying her butt hurts.
I say okay let me check you over.
I take her to a room and begin to look at her butt and at this point I could smell it.
It was a putrid smell of something pickled, rotting, or dead.
So I ask her has she eaten anything.
She says no.
I ask did you put something in your butt recently?
She says yes reluctantly.
Come to find out she had had fun with a pickle and never pulled it out. Instead it went further up her butt and was rotting.
After an hour and a very large bottle of magnesium citrate the rotted pickled probe came out.
After she left my nurse said it smelled like pickled ass. She had no clue how close she was.
by Dr. Francisco baker March 11, 2018
A unique term used when a woman has had a powerful orgasm but can't stop her body from continuing the orgasm over a long period of time. It is usually caused by the brain or body not being able to process the information of the orgasm and continuing the sensation until the body can either manually stopped by medicinal drugs or by the body processing the orgasm and stopping the the sensation. The term is derived from the distance from a home to a local hospital.
C: Jack!
J: Yeah Cate?
C: something s wrong!
J: what?
C: I don't know.
C: take me to the ER!!!
J: okay.
J: Siri. Nearest hospital.
S: one is 3.4 miles away.
J: shit! my cars in the shop.
C: jack. Run. Now.
J: it's about to be a 3.4 mile fun run
J: Yeah Cate?
C: something s wrong!
J: what?
C: I don't know.
C: take me to the ER!!!
J: okay.
J: Siri. Nearest hospital.
S: one is 3.4 miles away.
J: shit! my cars in the shop.
C: jack. Run. Now.
J: it's about to be a 3.4 mile fun run
by Dr. Francisco baker December 31, 2018
A loose medical term to use in the case of a males genitals being almost super humanly strong when erect or going from flaccid to erect.
by Dr. Francisco baker December 31, 2018
A loose medical term used when a males genitalia that is almost super humanly strong when erect or going from flaccid to erect. And will hurt partners in coitus or other sexual or love making acts Involving the dominant male partners genitals. This occurs in anal or vaginal use and the term is derived from when the area or inner part of the partners orifice is either damaged or bruised in some way. Such as major rips or tears of anal or vaginal tissue. And other unique cases are of humiliating accident of ripping pants or breaking zippers with jolts of an erection.
by Dr. Francisco baker December 31, 2018
A very unique term given to a couple or pair of partners that come into an ER with the problem of the male or dominate male penis is either stuck because a sphincter or muscle not releasing the males penisfrom an analor vaginal orifice.
No joke this happened.
I'm in the ER and two guys walk in doing a conga line motion. one holding the other and sweating profusely , in one look I could tell the guy behind the other was in major pain, so I move him and his partner to a private room and ask what was wrong. One begins to tell me they met at a trans and gaybar and one thing led to another well they had begun to have intercourseand after a long couple of hours the receiving partner orgasmsand the muscles in his anus clenched the giving partnerspenis,and would not release it. So after a moment of muscle relaxing injections into the partners rectalarea the second partner begins to sigh in relief as to his pain level lowering. After a few long moments the giving partners penis pops out and he says with a straight face says. That's what I call being stucked when fucked.
After they left I laughed for a couple of minutes to how crazy that was. The same thing happened a month later with same guy giving and his wife. So wow.
I'm in the ER and two guys walk in doing a conga line motion. one holding the other and sweating profusely , in one look I could tell the guy behind the other was in major pain, so I move him and his partner to a private room and ask what was wrong. One begins to tell me they met at a trans and gaybar and one thing led to another well they had begun to have intercourseand after a long couple of hours the receiving partner orgasmsand the muscles in his anus clenched the giving partnerspenis,and would not release it. So after a moment of muscle relaxing injections into the partners rectalarea the second partner begins to sigh in relief as to his pain level lowering. After a few long moments the giving partners penis pops out and he says with a straight face says. That's what I call being stucked when fucked.
After they left I laughed for a couple of minutes to how crazy that was. The same thing happened a month later with same guy giving and his wife. So wow.
by Dr. Francisco baker December 31, 2018