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DesPERRYado's definitions

nice guy speech

Generally, a lie a woman tells a guy when she doesn't want anything to with him. Usually performed after the guy tries to 'court' the woman.

Usually followed up by "I'm not looking for anyone right now," but can be seen dating/fucking other guys seconds later.

Generally, this is just a way women try to pacify men but usually just infuriates them.
Joey: "Hey, Jenny. I really like you a lot, would you go out with me sometime?"

Johnny: "Look, Johnny. You're a really nice guy but I think we should just be friends. I just got out of a really bad relationship and don't want to date yet."

Seconds later

Joey: "Wait!? Is Jenny having sex with Dean in my car?!"
by DesPERRYado June 13, 2005
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milk in a bag

In America milk comes in plastic containers. In Canada it comes in a bag.
Who used the last of the milk and didn't put in a new bag?
by DesPERRYado November 2, 2004
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wet dream

When one ejaculates from some kind of sexual stimuli experienced in a dream...or really erotic nightmare. Caused from lack of masturbation.
Date: 7 years ago
Time: 4:44am
Location: Some dream

"Oh, Lois Lane. You can interview me any day of the week. ::wakes up:: Huh?! Wha?!? It happened again..."

"I haven't had a wet dream in 7 years."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
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Tengu Energy

Unseen life force of the tengu that sustains everything as we know it. Tengu energy is everywhere, it's in the water, it's in your blood and it's in your diarrhea.
Man this anal tengu is really giving me the runs!
by DesPERRYado November 1, 2004
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angst

Something I had a lot of when published most of my other UD entries.
"I had a lot of angst and angry when I published those definitions of teen parent, religion and nice guy, and now I feel bad because I can't delete any of them."
by desPERRYado January 1, 2007
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nice guy

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."

"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
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To Game list

A list of video games you are planning on playing.
I am totally putting Tales of Symphonia on my To Game list.
by desPERRYado January 12, 2006
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