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4 definitions by David B. Cool

 
1.
The act of flatulating into a paper sack, promptly closing the sack, and running up to someone in the vicinity and opening the bag in their face, releasing the fresh fart.
When Matt was being a dick, I decided to give him a Cold Adam. Marshall thought it was funny, until he got one from Lare Bear.
by David B. Cool October 06, 2004
7 0
 
2.
An omnivirous, cube-dwelling mammal. Native to the Pacific Northwest, he prefers abstaining from intimacy during the better part of the year. He also avoids social gatherings including alcohol, as this may impare his ability to tick and/or tie any numbers. His cohorts include The Hatchet, Pecker, Brunsteen, Papa Doug, and "The Firm Hates You" Isler.
KS- Hey Lasso, you wanna come to lunch with us today?
The Lasso- I would, but I need to tick and tie these figures on ABC Inc's Balance Sheet.
Senior Manager (in his head)- Boy, that Lasso kid sure is a go-getter. And not to be gay or anything, but I'll bet he's a dynamo in the sack.
by David B. Cool October 06, 2004
10 4
 
3.
A process by which one defecates into a hat, and then places it either on his own head or that of another person.

Can be used in place of a Hot Carl when times are rough.
Now I owe Hammerstone 20 bucks, goddamn it! I borrowed his Cubs cap a few weeks ago and I was set to return it to him on Friday. But today at work, I had such a hankering for a Hot Carl that I couldn't wait until 5 o'clock to go home and get my cellophane, so I gave myself a Hot Hat.
by David B. Cool October 13, 2004
5 1
 
4.
The Mexican cousin of the Hot Carl. While the end results are the same, the ingredients of the two are quite different, and thus these relatives are not to be confused. While the Hot Carl may be composed of any and all food groups, the Picante Pedro is more selective. The only acceptable items are refried beans, tortillas, salsa, guacamole, and rice. It's hard to test the authenticity of one when you are covered in cellophane, so one must take the word of the giver.
Shit, man, all I've eaten in the past three days is Taco Bell. Audrey asked me for a Hot Carl, but I was cocked and loaded for a Picante Pedro. So I delivered, and she got so pissed when I told her it was a Picante P. I told her "Shit, woman. At least I didn't give you a tinted window like Ben suggested."
by David B. Cool October 20, 2004
2 1