Cunty Fresh Fanatic's definitions

over the mullet

When anything goes over the head of white trash.

redneck: Whatcha mean I can't buy an atomic bomb, at Walmart. Sounds un-constituent-tutorial to me! You ever heard of the Second Commandment?

Walmart associate 1: We don't carry them, but I heard you can get them for dirt cheap at the local army/navy store. They'll even throw in a box of MREs.

redneck: Dank you sir. I must go git me an A-bomb.

(redneck leaves)

Walmart associate 2: That went over the mullet, good. Just like Obama's birth certificate.

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 17, 2010

testicle paradox

The shocking phenomenon, in which the slightest pressure upon an unaroused man's testicles causes pain. Yet during sexual arousal, the testicles can take repetitive strikes painlessly and/or pleasurably.

Woman strikes man with pillow in balls. He falls to ground in fetal position moaning in agony.

Woman feels bad, decides to break him a piece of ass. He fucks all three hole's like a human jackhammer, all night long.

Woman experienced the testicle paradox.

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 10, 2010

cunty fresh fanatic

Anybody obsessed with female vaginal and vulvarian hygiene.

some bitch: He sure was keen on my kitty's cleanliness.

other bitch: Yeah. You texted me about the douching ritual.

some bitch: Yep. A povidone-iodine douche, followed by a saline solution flush, and finished with a activated carbon douche.

another bitch: Fucking cunty fresh fanatic! I like a natural scent. Wanna sit on my face?

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic October 25, 2010

vagi-gard

The best kept secret of clean crotched women across the globe. A heavy duty povidone-iodine douche. Basically, the last over-the-counter resort women have.

woman 1: If it wasn't for vagi-gard, I would have been in the ER for sure.

woman 2: Thank heavens. Want to scissor with that extra clean bearded clam of yours?

(Scissoring ensues. Without a funky mess mind you.)

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic March 23, 2012

Bill Maher Head Slam

A hypothetical sex act purportedly invented by comedian/orator/cunt addict Bill Maher, in which prostaglandins (vaginal dilators) are administered to a woman, while a man wearing a nasal respirator (to allow use of mouth) shoves his head into the dilated vagina, and orally stimulates the Gräfenburg Spot (G-spot) until the woman orgasms. Comedienne/actress Sarah Silverman is allegedly the first woman to have received the first Bill Maher Head Slam, thus no prostaglandins would have been needed. No proof yet exists of it ever happening, and shouldn't be preformed without a licensed obstetrician or Bill Maher present.

conservative man: What would you like me to do honey.

liberal woman: I want a Bill Maher Head Slam. (Woman explains the sex act.)

conservative man: Aww sick! I'll just give you a rim job, I'm still a recovering homosexual. This transition is rough enough.

(Lame sex ensues. Nobody cums.)

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 14, 2010

Bristol Palin syndrome

When a daughter makes her mother look hot, as Bristol Palin does to her mother.

dude 1: Veronica is so fugly, she makes her sloppy mother a milf.

dude 2: That's called Bristol Palin syndrome.

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 22, 2010

spedtributor

Opposite of a speditor. Any contributor to the Urban Dictionary, that adds their inside jokes, crushes names, their own name, et cetera, to the UD. This bullshit ends up pissing off us editors, and slowing the editing process down.

editor: Motherfucking spedtributor! Ugh.

Clicks on "Don't Publish" button.

by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 23, 2010