Here me, all ye assholes! America isn't full of complete retards like the rest of the world thinks it is.
Not everyone is obese here, either. If you're going to lose faith in Americans, just do as I did and lose faith in humanity as a whole.
Because let me tell you, the biggest idiots I've ever seen weren't from America.
America: Hey guys, uh, we actually aren't all obese idiots.
The rest of this godforsaken world: LOLOLOL YES YU RRRRRRRRRR MERICA SUKS N EVRY1 DAR IS STUPID!!!!1111!!ELEVEN!!1
Me: I just hope i live long enough to be able to move to a different planet.