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Chang Tan's definitions

florida

Homer simpson: We can't go to Florida... thats America's wang! *points at the dick-like state of Florida*
by Chang Tan December 31, 2003
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AOL

A ISP for those who are too mentally deficient to fucking open Internet Explorer to browse, and instead must surrender its dignity to a company who can automatically load up a half-assed browser after connection. Technically your paying for more ads to be showed in your desktop, because every time you log in, popups flood the screen saying "Pay for AOL 9.0 PREMIUM for some RADICAL shit... DOGG!".

Half of those who attempted to use the signup system quit on their first try, and begin prank calling the AOL tech support.
Disgruntled illiterate user: You fucking asshole! I didn't pay you guys money just to not set up my service, ASSHOLE!

Tech support: Please calm down sir, please state your inquiry.

Disgruntled illiterate user: My inquiry is that your a moron!

Tech support: *hangs up phone*

Disgruntled illiterate user: Hello? Hello? FUCK DIS SHIAT!
by Chang Tan January 1, 2004
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music

A work of art, containing words that eventually may tell us something, moving in a catchy rhythm. Long story short, its "fucking your ears with noises, catchy noises". There are many times of music, starting from quite possibly the very beginning of humanity, or at the least when homo-sapiens stopped picking their noses and stood up, hooting wildly and beating each other in the head with dinosaur bones. This is how music began, don't object me, I know I'm right.

Eventually this "music" evolved into a leisure hobby that has lived to this modern day.

There are many types of music, but apparantly corruption in the RIAA, a money-oinking recording industry began a organized legal-war against the sharing of .mp3s, the main format for music we distribute through websites and gnutella networks. The RIAA's victory against napster proved to be a failure, other file sharing networks sprouted out like mushrooms and cleverly evaded the law by claiming "We arn't distributing the 'illegal files', its the users themselves that choose what they want to distribute, we arn't controlling anything". Nonetheless, recently RIAA and even some governments threatened to sue those who are found to be "pirating" music.

It ain't pirating damnit, all we just do is buy CDs from the mall, use our cd-burner software to extract and convert the music, and hand it out to moneyless bums on the internet. If the RIAA was so damn smart, then maybe they would at least make it harder for us to do so.
Music is basically sounds that you enjoy, unlike the farting your lard-stuffed dad makes.
by Chang Tan January 2, 2004
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diablo 2

Life draining computer game, players who play it often found themselves devoid of a life, girlfriend, or any other monument of their terrible social abilities.

Gamers ditches school just to spend hours searching of the Ultra Nuklear Oculous of Unanimous Kickass (+2 Skills +3x Immunity to Cold +2000 Magic Damage +Guaranteed Drop of Uniques), rumored to be hidden in a dung sample dropped from Baal's swollen sphinchter.
Diablo 2 Gamer: "OMGz! I just found myself a bitchin' 75x FCR Sorc Ring with 800% Magic Find! God I'm so fucking tired...."

Straight-Thinking Kid: "Neat, I got laid twelve times today. Cool huh? My schlong hurts bad though"

Diablo 2 Gamer: "Haha! You faggot, you got a small dick. Gayass"

Diablo 2 Gamers spasms violently on the floor, blood pouring out of his eyes, then dies from a seizure.
by Chang Tan March 13, 2005
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the sims

Awful computer game, where you serve as a god/deity that invokes your will on people too stupid to know when to take a shit, walk to the mailbox, and wake up in time for work.

The adults appear to have a mental illness, and a poor attention span, as they cannot stop chatting about soccer, airplanes, mountains, money, and the local burglar without crying a river, run back into their house, pee over the carpet, and still welcome their guests in to their kitchen, where a thriving colony of roaches and ants are having a squaredance in tile:#3457.

Sometimes the children are smarter and more active than their parents, keeping their fun, comfort, and social levels up, while somehow attaining a genetic trait that grants them immortality. However, if they ever miss a single bus when the time arrives, a humvee arrives to take them to military school.

Often its funnier to make the lives of your "victims" as agonizing as possible, rather than making them successful and prominent members of Simian society.
I built a two story blood-speckled castle for the Weyland family, a tribe of demons visiting Sim-Estates to harvest fresh souls for the summoning of Cthulu. Already in the first 24 hours I had killed 80 Simian men.

Ah the joys of The Sims!
by Chang Tan June 4, 2005
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megatokyo

The "I wish I was Japense fanclub". It features several main characters:

Piro - The webmaster, artist, and main character of the comic. He is portrayed as a innocent pansy nerd, with a kink for Japanese girls and a obsessive sock fetish. Thankfully, his wussiness has restrained him from several potential scenes of rape throughout the comic, thus keeping the material clean for all readers.

Largo - Stereotypical gamer and avid comptuer overclocker, babbles in nonsensical "l33tsp33k", and due to his constant binging, has incredible resistance to physical punishment, which aids him well in his quest to purge all of Japan of "zombies", possibly a fabrication of his manic America Versus Japan culture clashing.

"The Queen" - Archnemesis of Largo, she posesses formidable skills in gaming, rivaling the disillusioned yankee himself. Intrigued by Largo's stubborness to cling onto his assinine beliefs, much of her story involves a complex silent-romance between her and the unwary Largo.

Hayasaka-San - One of the first friends Piro makes in Japan, she works in a game shop downtown. She keeps to herself about her personal life, and fends off sexual predators with voracious ferocity.

Generic Schoolwhore - A teenager of 16, she too has a crush with Piro, and with the pressure of her two bimbo peers, is forced into a shakey relationship with the reclusive twigboy.
Piro - "Oh my god, I'm so stupid! I should have got her drunk and pinned her down to the floor at the bar and had my way with her. But nooo... I wussed out. Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! Time to drown my sorrows with another drawing of sad girls in snow..."

Largo - "OMGz! U teh fag0rt! I teh l33t mast0rz! Git off me l33t n3tw0rk n0de u teh n00b!"

"The Queen" - "Dark, blackness, consuming me, tearing me up from the inside, can't endure for much longer.... tendrils fingering my asshole.... my sanity is about to crack.... death, darkness, destruction...."

Hayasaka-San - "Get any closer to me and i'll break your other arm!"

Generic Schoolwhore - "Kawaii! Oh my god, your so cute! Cutey Cutey Cutey ^-^! Hey handsome, how about a appointment in my apartment at 1908 Hawasaka Avenue, i'll be dressing in that outfit you like.... meet me at 9:00 sharp, and dress SEXY!"
by Chang Tan February 26, 2005
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cowboy

A self-capable farmboy/rancher.

Also may be interpreted as a sleazy barfly of the Old West who frequents taverns, wears cowhide knee-guards, spits chewed tobacco, and believes that a pistol-duel is a excellent problem solver.
Cowboy #1: "Gimme a chaw 'O tobacky will ya?"

Cowboy #2 (technically a "cow girl"): "Naw, you didn't pay me back the chaw I gave you before"

Cowboy #1: "Shutup and gimme the damn chaw woman!"

Cowboy #3: "Don't talk to my wimmin like that!"

Cowboy #3 hurls a fist at Cowboy #1, Cowboy #1 parries the attack easily, and throws another one but misses.

Cowboy #2 stands up from her chair, and lodges both of her fists into the brawler's chins.

Cowboy #2: "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaah!"

Cowboy #1 takes a half-full beer glass and breaks it on the head of Cowboy #3, knocking him unconcious before proceeding to pin Cowboy #2 to the ground and lifting her skirt up.
by Chang Tan December 19, 2004
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