Carl Willis's definitions

westinghouse

verb. westinghoused; westinghousing: fr. name of American inventor George Westinghouse. To put a person to death in an electric chair (which in early embodiments were operated from an AC power supply). The attachment of Mr. Westinghouse's name to the electric chair was a form of negative advertizing devised by Thomas Edison.

"The Rosenbergs were westinghoused at Sing Sing Prison yesterday for treason, and the bodies were sent to the morgue in nine-dollar pine caskets."

by Carl Willis January 19, 2006

old sparky

n. Nickname for the electric chair, particularly that in the state of Florida.

"Any nigga that pop a cap on a cop gonna take a one-way ride on Old Sparky."

by Carl Willis December 1, 2004

differently abled

adj. Politically correct 1990s euphemism meaning "disabled". Contrary to what the words may suggest, "differently abled" does NOT mean "having different abilities;" more precisely it means "lacking expected abilities." Since mental disability is generally associated with much more social stigma than physical disability (and hence is ripe for being described by a "sensitive" PC vocabulary), "differently abled" is most frequently encountered in similar contexts as "special". With this in mind, persons of non-retarded status should construe the phrase as a deep insult.

What the teacher thinks: "Goddamn, that was funny! Why do they insist on mainstreaming these plainly retarded kids...they're so distracting to my class..."

What the teacher says: "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves for laughing when our differently abled peers gave their fine interpretation of Hamlet."

by Carl Willis January 18, 2005

slumming

n. The act of touring through the poor side of town to gawk and make fun of the inhabitants there, usually with a group of one's friends. Notably an activity of insecure rich white kids.

Matt: Hey Jimmie, you wanna cut out after school in my dad's Hummer and do some slumming?

Jim: Hell yeah! I love knowing that there's plenty of trash out there to keep the burgers flippin'.

by Carl Willis July 22, 2004

hair of the dog that bit me

Any alcoholic beverage, the consumption of which is supposed to clear up one's hangover from previous drinking (but will tend to have the opposite effect in reality). Origins of the phrase date back to medieval times, when hairs from a biting dog were put in the bite wound in the belief that this promoted healing.

Lloyd: What will you be drinking, sir?

Jack: Hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd.

Lloyd: Bourbon on the rocks?

Jack: That'll do it.

by Carl Willis January 7, 2006

wendy's

n. Fast food chain which cooks up a damn tasty bowl of chili.

If you're too much of a pansy for the "traditional" recipe, you can request that your chili be served without severed human appendages.

Cashier: Hello, welcome to Wendy's, what can we get for you?

Customer: I'll have a large bowl of chili, supersize that please, and uh...can you please hold the fingers and toes in that order, ma'am?

by Carl Willis March 27, 2005

spamvertise

v. (1) To advertise products or services via unsolicited, bulk email (spam).

(2) To abuse a particular Internet resource--such as a domain name--by spamming, frequently contributing to a blacklisting or loss of value of that resource.

(1) Those Russians are spamvertizing a penis pump that is guaranteed to "make yu0r c-0ck tre-mendous."

(2) B1gPen1sNow.com is a spamvertized domain name; don't buy it.

by Carl Willis November 12, 2004