Carl Willis's definitions
n. Pejorative term for persons of the Caucasian race, purportedly in use among Asians. Refers to the racial difference in facial musculature that gives the eyes of Asians a more "squinty" aspect ratio than those of Caucasians. According to the stereotype, the roundeye is unintelligent, uneducated, and lazy.
by Carl Willis May 17, 2006
Get the roundeye mug.n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.
Some key tenets of Creation Science:
--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.
--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).
--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)
Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Some key tenets of Creation Science:
--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.
--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).
--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)
Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?
Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...
Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...
Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
by Carl Willis December 14, 2004
Get the creation science mug.Son, you keep away from dat nigga Rakwan, you heah me? The foo' be packin' and he might just up and cap yo trash-talkin' ass one these days!
by Carl Willis August 24, 2004
Get the packing mug."According to Donald Rumsfeld, the gas chambers and crematoria needed for the Guantanamo facility will be constructed by Halliburton Corporation, which won the no-bid contract yesterday. In other news, the State Department is requiring all persons of the Muslim faith to report to the nearest Amtrak station tomorrow at noon for relocation...I'm Shea Stevens and this is NPR News."
by Carl Willis August 29, 2005
Get the guantanamo mug.n. (fr. Joe Lieberman + Democrat) A closeted Republican; A neoconservative wingnut parading as a member of the Democratic Party because of political expediency. Someone who has checked all reason and responsibility at the Senate door.
Republicans and liebercrats voted last night to drop a nuclear weapon on Iran in order to "send a message" that the pursuit of nuclear weapons there was morally wrong.
by Carl Willis October 8, 2007
Get the liebercrat mug.n. (1. Non-urban) A roll of two dice in which both show 1.
(2. Urban) The number 1.1, esp. an academic GPA of 1.1
(2. Urban) The number 1.1, esp. an academic GPA of 1.1
Yolanda: 'Sup Dashante, how's yo midterms lookin'?
Dashante: Not too good, baby. I'm rollin' snake eyes!
Dashante: Not too good, baby. I'm rollin' snake eyes!
by Carl Willis January 27, 2004
Get the snake eyes mug.adj. Euphemism for having a disability, esp. a behavioral or mental disability; low-functioning mental retardation in particular. Synonyms: different, feeble-minded, retarded.
1. Williams earned her M.Ed. at OSU, where she specialized in Special Education.
2. "Contenstants in all Special Olympics events must pass the mandatory drug test and must flunk the Wechsler standard IQ test."
3. "Look at all those Special Needs Children on that short bus, Billy. If you can't learn your alphabet, they'll hold you back. And if they hold you back, you'll be riding that short bus with all those very very special children next year! How would you like that!?"
2. "Contenstants in all Special Olympics events must pass the mandatory drug test and must flunk the Wechsler standard IQ test."
3. "Look at all those Special Needs Children on that short bus, Billy. If you can't learn your alphabet, they'll hold you back. And if they hold you back, you'll be riding that short bus with all those very very special children next year! How would you like that!?"
by Carl Willis February 2, 2004
Get the special mug.