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Carl Willis's definitions

dear leader

Proper noun. Personal epithet associated with either of two autocratic heads-of-state: Kim Jong-Il (N. Korea) or George W. Bush (United States).
"The Dear Leader spoke to the assembled farmworkers today, thanking them for being the pillars of this great and prosperous nation and exhorting them to even greater achievements, on pain of death by firing squad."

"Colbert spared no mercy for the tender feelings of the Dear Leader at the White House Press Corps dinner, but miraculously he has not yet been put to death by firing squad."
by Carl Willis June 11, 2006
mugGet the dear leadermug.

where I come from

Cliche phrase. Used as preface for one's remarks about the hardships of his or her life, ostensibly to add validity to the point that follows. Essentially any statement beginning with this phrase can be summarized as follows: "I have had a much harder life than you and hence you are in no position to argue with my point that (blah blah blah)."
"Where I come from, a nigga's rich if he can slang a 20 rock every week. So dontchoo be calling yoself PO', white boah!"
by Carl Willis September 2, 2004
mugGet the where I come frommug.

snake eyes

n. (1. Non-urban) A roll of two dice in which both show 1.

(2. Urban) The number 1.1, esp. an academic GPA of 1.1
Yolanda: 'Sup Dashante, how's yo midterms lookin'?

Dashante: Not too good, baby. I'm rollin' snake eyes!
by Carl Willis January 27, 2004
mugGet the snake eyesmug.

shamrocked

Adj. Fucked; hosed; screwed. To have been dealt a low blow by someone. To be "shamrocked" is to be in very dire circumstances indeed, cf. shamrock.

(Origin: Shamrock Towing, a highly unethical company operating in the vicinity of Columbus, Ohio)
Dave talked trash to the wrong folks, and now his ass is shamrocked.

If you haven't dropped Differential Equations by the May 1 deadline, and you've flunked all the exams...all I can say is, "you're shamrocked, big fella!"

Twamley was feeling mighty shamrocked after he had to pay the towing company $45 for an illegal half-drop.
by Carl Willis April 27, 2004
mugGet the shamrockedmug.

jack in the box

n. West-coast fast food chain. Your one-stop shop for E. coli and salmonella.
I ate at Jack In The Box for lunch, and an hour later, the highly caustic diarrhea had already melted my colon.
by Carl Willis July 23, 2006
mugGet the jack in the boxmug.

packing

Adj. (gerundive form, by ellipsis from "to pack heat") Carrying a concealed firearm.
Son, you keep away from dat nigga Rakwan, you heah me? The foo' be packin' and he might just up and cap yo trash-talkin' ass one these days!
by Carl Willis August 24, 2004
mugGet the packingmug.

creation science

n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.

Some key tenets of Creation Science:

--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.

--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).

--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)

Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?

Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...

Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
by Carl Willis December 14, 2004
mugGet the creation sciencemug.

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