Carl Willis's definitions
n. The urban skater's one-line manifesto. Frequently heard blurted out by skateboarding juveniles arrested for vandalism by means of a skateboard, truancy, or marijuana use.
Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.
Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.
Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
(A boy, about 12 years of age, with long bleached hair and extremely wide corduroy flare pants, is recklessly grinding his way down the outdoor staircase in front of Town Hall on a skateboard.)
Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"
Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"
Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."
Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"
Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"
Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"
Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."
Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."
Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"
Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
by Carl Willis October 12, 2004
Get the skateboarding is not a crimemug. Proper noun. The 42nd President of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton. This nickname speaks to Clinton's continuing political clout, reputation for deftness and skill as a politician, and vaunted ability to campaign for Democratic candidates. If you can't run with The Big Dog, you need to stay on the porch, motherfucker!
"Down in the polls, Lieberman tried to call in The Big Dog to rescue his moribund campaign against Lamont. Problem is, The Big Dog only supports Democrats."
by Carl Willis October 24, 2006
Get the The Big Dogmug. Antwaine and Shamiqua is doin' they own thang tonight, know'um sayin'?
Darnell and his krew be all chillin' at the mall, just doin' they thang, not mussin' with nobody...and the po-po done shook 'em all down fo crack with no "provokations" or nuthin! Why they got to steal a playa's rocks like that, man?? They was just doin' they thang, man.
Darnell and his krew be all chillin' at the mall, just doin' they thang, not mussin' with nobody...and the po-po done shook 'em all down fo crack with no "provokations" or nuthin! Why they got to steal a playa's rocks like that, man?? They was just doin' they thang, man.
by Carl Willis February 10, 2004
Get the doin' they thangmug. v. (from ghetto)
1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."
2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."
1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."
2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."
1. "By 1972, the Crips had thoroughly ghettified Compton and all vestiges of the working population had fled west."
2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".
2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".
by Carl Willis February 12, 2005
Get the ghettifymug. n. A resident of the United States of America. (See also "Amurka").
However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
The Amurkins' Oath:
On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
by Carl Willis September 22, 2006
Get the amurkinmug. n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.
by Carl Willis September 4, 2005
Get the redneck truckmug. "After a spate of insurgent attacks, leadership was fed up and decided it was time to wash down the streets of Fallujah with a lead hose. A Humvee-mounted M2 0.50 cal was used on the men at the mosque, while a M134 minigun was chosen to neutralize the women and children in the market. According to FOX News, several insurgents may have been killed in the defensive action."
by Carl Willis June 29, 2006
Get the lead hosemug.