4 definitions by Capn' Bullmoose

A guy who spends his days loitering in public commodes to watch other men take leaks.

A guy who spends his evenings loitering in public commodes to solicit poofter sex from other men.

A guy who likes corn holing the dog and other men.
Alistair is a fag. He lobbies his state legislature to legalize marriage between two corn holing poofters. "All we want," whines Alistair, "is to (1) get married, (2) adopt children, (3) bequeath our possessions to each other, and (4) visit each other in the hospital. We are good family people just like you." And Alistair spends his days in public crappers watching other men take leaks, and his evenings in public crappers soliciting poofter sex from other men.
by Capn' Bullmoose September 19, 2007
Demanding that others live up to standards that you will not live up to.

Railing against a law or situation that has brought you many personal benefits.
Senaturd Kennedy's car has killed more people than all my guns. Senaturd Kennedy rails against guns, but not cars. That's hypocracy.

Senaturd Kennedy inherited a vast fortune that had been shielded from inheritance taxes. Senaturd Kennedy wants high inheritance taxes. That's hypocracy.

Senaturd Clinton says she will take things from you in the name of the public good. But she will not yield her money or her possessions in the name of the public good. That's hypocracy.

Speaker Nancy Pelousy says unions are good, unions are great, unions are wonderful. But she will not allow union members to work in her restaurant or her winery. That's hypocracy.
by Capn' Bullmoose September 19, 2007
A mind that takes in every scrap of garbage tossed at it, much like an open mouth takes in flies, mosquitoes, and other trash.

An open mind is not subject to the filters that an educated person uses to keep out the trash.
An educated person has a filter on his or her mind that keeps out garbage such as network TV shows, hip hop lyrics, and strident speeches by Quean Hillary Clinton.

Just as an intelligent biker keeps his mouth shut while he rides, an intelligent keeps his mind shut when idiotic ideas fill the air.

An open mind, kept open without discrimination, soon gets filled with bilge.

The liberal says, "just because an idea is unpopular, that doesn't mean it's not true." That's right liberal! And the converse is also true: Just because an idea is popular, that doesn't mean it's true.
by Capn' Bullmoose September 19, 2007
A slimey criminal identifiable by his greasy hair. A Pachuco hangs out on street corners and loiters outside liquor stores and pool halls. He accosts defenseless people and weak people and threatens them with a switchblade knife. He wears a purple shirt and a perpetual sneer.

An urban terrorist who only picks on single individuals who can't defend themselves.

This criminal is loved and protected by the Liberal, who says that the Pachuco is only defending the Bario and the Pachucada.
Hector is a Pachuco. He loiters outside the liquor store all evening, spitting on the sidewalk and picking his teeth with a switchblade. He pretends to ignore large people and mean looking people. But if a skinny nerd with glasses walks by, the Pachuco spits on the sidewalk and steps in front of the nerd. "Hey, mon," he says, "this is my turf. What are you doing on my turf?" The Pachuco sneers at the skinny nerd, puts his switchblade in front of the nerd's face, and acts very tough indeed. When the nerd wets his pants in terror, the Pachuco lets him go.

If a fuzz drives by, Hector puts his knife in his pocket and struts away. If a big redneck walks by, Hector slouches away. If the Crips or Bloods come by, Hector the Pachuco runs away in terror.
by Capn' Bullmoose September 19, 2007

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