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Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

saturday night special

A liberal expression meaning an inexpensive handgun. (Of course, the REAL definition of an inexpensive handgun is CHEAP INSURANCE.)

Liberal politicians tell yuppie and soccer mom constituents that they will ban Saturday Night Specials, which makes the yuppies and soccer moms feel all warm and fuzzy.

Of course, banning inexpensive handguns deprives poor people of their most effective defense against Pachuco boys and other criminals.
Senaturd Kennedy wants to ban the Saturday Night Special.
by Cap'n Bullmoose January 26, 2007
mugGet the saturday night specialmug.

PETA

1. A group of hippocrites who will never hesitate to pour paint on a rich lady's fur coat, but will never in a million years pour paint on a biker's leather jacket.

2. A group of mush wimp clowns who, living in the traditions, safety, and blessings of a Christian nation, subscribes to Hindu reincarnation nonsense about cows being ex-humans.
Listen up, PETA punk: Meat is NOT murder, and that cow is NOT my grandma. Pour paint on MY leathers and I'll ram a wiener dog up yer backside!
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
mugGet the PETAmug.

Tobasco

A mild, tame, weak-flavored sauce used to add piquancy to food.
A tablespoon of Tobasco sauce will add some life to bacon, sausage, and potatoes.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005
mugGet the Tobascomug.

time out

A bogus, phoney baloney pseudo-punishment inflicted by soccer moms on their day care brats, after said day care brats have disobeyed for the 27th time.

The time out has a beginning, but never an end. Before the soccer mom releases the day care brat, the day care brat releases itself.
After little Chutney disobeyed her soccer mom for the 27th time, Michner gave her a time out.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
mugGet the time outmug.

Binderfender

An audible fart. An expulsion of waste gaseous hydrocarbons from the anus, accompanied by an audible roar or blatt, discernable by even the hearing impaired.
Miss Chalmers entertained the Ladies' Sewing Circle by blowing a raucous binderfender.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 18, 2005
mugGet the Binderfendermug.

oxymoron

Two words with disparate meanings, used together to form a nonsensical phrase.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 26, 2005
mugGet the oxymoronmug.

Bum's Rush

The violent ejection of an obnoxious slob from a saloon. The bum's rush is performed by a bouncer.
You must NEVER say "bum's rush" in the presence of a white liberal. She will surely be offended! Instead, you must always say "Homeless Person's Manditory Egression." Then the white liberal won't be offended at all.
I was sitting in the No Name Bar in Sausalito, wearing an IDJ. With me were two young ladies wearing see-through tops. The bouncer ordered me to leave because I was wearing an offensive garment. I looked at my companions, then asked the bouncer, "Can I stay if I grow tits?" The bouncer gave me the bum's rush.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 19, 2008
mugGet the Bum's Rushmug.

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