Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

child molester

A wishy-washy, namby-pamby white liberal euphemism for a person who rapes or has sexual intercourse with a child. Using the less offensive liberal expression removes much of the horror of the act, and lets liberals plead for mercy and gentle treatment of the malefactor.

A child molester should be called a child raper. A mosquito molests people. A child molester rapes and sodomizes little kids. These foul scums should be hanged, not coddled.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006

dooflap

A large, pendulous fur-covered appendage that hangs beneath the neck of a moose.

Bullregard the Moose has an 18-inch dooflap.

by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007

Ivory-Billed Woodpecker

The next target for legions of bull-necked peckerwoods in the Arkansas outback.

Bubba is gonna shoot him a Ivory-Billed Woodpecker, now that the TV gone an' told him where it lives.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

Public Transportation

A means of urban transportation used mainly by the underprivileged and the working poor

Public Transportation in many cities is a rolling crime wave. Muggers, Crips, Bloods, Pachucos, Hip Hop assholes, Gangstas, A-Rabs, and other criminals ride public transportation with their ghetto blasters blaring. They challenge honest working stiffs, force them to stand, steal their money, and make them listen to evil Hip Hop "music."

by Cap'n Bullmoose October 9, 2007

Clam

A sour note played by a musician.

Wheldon thinks he plays like Bird, but he keeps honking out clams.
Letitia hit a clam with her oboe during the Surprise Symphony.

by Cap'n Bullmoose July 3, 2008

homeless

A bum.
A wino.
A liberal word, used by effeminate liberals instead of the word "bum."

All good effeminate liberals call bums homeless. By doing this, they can can whine, "Oh, let's all help the homeless," just like the people of San Francisco. They said let's build homes and put all the homeless people inside them. Then nobody will be homeless. Ooh, aren't we good liberals? Barack O'Bama will love us!
So the liberals built homes. Then they went out on the streets and collected all the bums and put them in the homes. See, no more homeless!
Now, the San Francisco coppers have discovered that all those people on the streets who piss on the sidewalk and shit in the gutter and throw muscatel bottles on your front porch have addresses. They aren't homeless.
See, aren't those San Francisco liberals nice? They've spent over 100 million taxpayer dollars, but there are no more homeless people in San Francisco!
Just bums.

by Cap'n Bullmoose October 16, 2008

Brooklyn Assault Rifle

A Winchester model 1894 .30-30 rifle. This definition was created by the late Colonel Jeff Cooper.

Pansy ass liberals wring their hands and whine about "assault rifles," which, they say, are the favorite weapon of the Crips, the Bloods, and the Pachucos. A pansy ass liberal calls any black, ugly, semiautomatic rifle an assault rifle, which is like calling any black, ugly cat a dog. To keep from getting their pansy asses kicked, many liberals say they don't want to outlaw hunting or legitimate hunting rifles. Virtually all of those liberals will agree that a Winchester 1894 .30-30 is a hunting rifle. So there you have it: A wonderful, fast-shooting, accurate rifle just right for blasting Crips, Bloods, and Pachucos in defense of your home, your family, and yourself. This is the Brooklyn Assault Rifle. Get one today and start cleaning up your neighborhood while fooling your local pansy ass liberals.

Semiautomatic rifles will shoot faster than a Brooklyn Assault Rifle. But your .30-30 is far more accurate. With practice, you can shoot a Winchester 94 with great speed and accuracy.

You'll be able to keep your Brooklyn Assault Rifle after president O'Bama, the Irish Jig, confiscates all your handguns to keep you from hurting yourself when Pachucos invade your home.

by Cap'n Bullmoose July 3, 2008