Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions

PETA

1. A group of hippocrites who will never hesitate to pour paint on a rich lady's fur coat, but will never in a million years pour paint on a biker's leather jacket.

2. A group of mush wimp clowns who, living in the traditions, safety, and blessings of a Christian nation, subscribes to Hindu reincarnation nonsense about cows being ex-humans.

Listen up, PETA punk: Meat is NOT murder, and that cow is NOT my grandma. Pour paint on MY leathers and I'll ram a wiener dog up yer backside!

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

saturday night special

A liberal expression meaning an inexpensive handgun. (Of course, the REAL definition of an inexpensive handgun is CHEAP INSURANCE.)

Liberal politicians tell yuppie and soccer mom constituents that they will ban Saturday Night Specials, which makes the yuppies and soccer moms feel all warm and fuzzy.

Of course, banning inexpensive handguns deprives poor people of their most effective defense against Pachuco boys and other criminals.

Senaturd Kennedy wants to ban the Saturday Night Special.

by Cap'n Bullmoose January 26, 2007

Tobasco

A mild, tame, weak-flavored sauce used to add piquancy to food.

A tablespoon of Tobasco sauce will add some life to bacon, sausage, and potatoes.

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005

oxymoron

Two words with disparate meanings, used together to form a nonsensical phrase.

Utah Jazz.

Military Intelligence.

Microsoft Code.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 26, 2005

Tap your Log

To beat your pud. That thing that faggots do in a group on Saturday afternoons in the park.

Percival and Lemony agree that the park is a fine place to tap your log.

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 23, 2007

Junior Moon

The final score in a game of Hearts when one person has the Queen of Spades and 12 of the 13 hearts. This score counts as 25 points against the poor schlemiel.

Maeve nailed a Junior Moon four times, thereby losing the Hearts game.
The Junior Moon is always a cause of much sneering, heckling, and ribbing.

by Cap'n Bullmoose October 1, 2008

sideshow

Lawless exhibition of speed practiced by Oakland coons.

I be goin to de sideshow.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005