4 definitions by CJHat
A joke originally made about an imaginary person named Colton, It refers to his mom as the 66th most dangerous thing in the world.
Colton's Mom's Vagina has serrated teeth around the outer edge, and has come to be fondly known as a,
"Penis-Flysnatch". This is due to it's capabilities of rapidly snapping shut on anything which touces the vaginal walls more than once. A dexterous person always has enough time to get in and pull out, however. This is actually a good workout, and many people have resorted to this to lose calories.
There is an on-off switch within the Vagina, and only one or two people have been recorded to actually be able to consistantly locate it. This causes her vagina to wait another 30 minutes before closing, and it constricts itself to an appropriate tightness.
On that note, although you would expect Colton's mom's vagina to be extremely lose due to all the action it gets, it is able to loosen or slacken itself at will, enabling it to keep a person going longer, increasing the risk of "de-manning him".
Colton's mom is known to prostitute herself at a very cheap price, for this is an easy way for it to get food. The last recorded rate was 15 cents.
Colton's Mom's Vagina has serrated teeth around the outer edge, and has come to be fondly known as a,
"Penis-Flysnatch". This is due to it's capabilities of rapidly snapping shut on anything which touces the vaginal walls more than once. A dexterous person always has enough time to get in and pull out, however. This is actually a good workout, and many people have resorted to this to lose calories.
There is an on-off switch within the Vagina, and only one or two people have been recorded to actually be able to consistantly locate it. This causes her vagina to wait another 30 minutes before closing, and it constricts itself to an appropriate tightness.
On that note, although you would expect Colton's mom's vagina to be extremely lose due to all the action it gets, it is able to loosen or slacken itself at will, enabling it to keep a person going longer, increasing the risk of "de-manning him".
Colton's mom is known to prostitute herself at a very cheap price, for this is an easy way for it to get food. The last recorded rate was 15 cents.
"Why's Topher In the Hospitol?"
"He must not have been fast enough with Colton's Mom's Vagina Last night."
"Dude, why are you sweating so prefusely?"
"Just got back from Colton's Mom's house, I couldn't find the on-off switch this time."
"DUDE! Look! A hooker! Only Fifteen cents!"
"STAY THE FUCK AWAY! IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!"
"He must not have been fast enough with Colton's Mom's Vagina Last night."
"Dude, why are you sweating so prefusely?"
"Just got back from Colton's Mom's house, I couldn't find the on-off switch this time."
"DUDE! Look! A hooker! Only Fifteen cents!"
"STAY THE FUCK AWAY! IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!"
by CJHat April 9, 2010
by CJHat March 25, 2009
people who live under corn fields in Michigan. Like midgets only smaller. They abducted kline and use the travelocity guy as a coverup. Until Kline came along, Rick was their leader.
by CJHat July 24, 2008
'''Mugwumpology'''
''The History of Mugwumpland''
The continent/country currently known as Mugwumpland has an interesting History. It is believed it went like this;
When God was creating the Hawaiian islands, he was just about to finish one of the volcanoes when, while all the lava was bubbling up towards the top, he sneezed. This sent a massive quantity of holy snot and lava flying into the ocean just South-East of Japan. This immediately began to form a continent almost as large as the state of Texas. God thought for a moment and then said, "What the hell" and snapped his fingers thus populating the island with the first Mugwumps.
''The Creation of AIDS and Tourettes Syndrome and Their Connection to Mugwumpland''
During World War 2, the first time the Americans attempted to bomb Japan, one of the less experienced Pilots missed and accidentally bombed Mugwumpland. The resulting waves of radiation, strangely enough, didn't immediately kill many Mugwumps. Instead it infected them with the deadly Sexually Transmitted Disease known as The AIDS. Also, oddly, in the later generations of Mugwumps, it doesn't always kill them, the virus just uses them as a host so that it can spread. Due to their extreme anger from being bombed and infected with AIDS, the Mugwumps also developed the overwhelming and uncontrollable anger disease known as Tourettes Syndrome. For more information about Tourettes Syndrome visit www.tourettesguy.com.
''The Economy of Mugwumpland''
Although not as economically advanced as The US, Great Britain, China, or even Saudi Arabia, the residents of Mugwumpland have become rich by selling their giant booger slugs and snails(some of the only native animals of Mugwumpland, they are about 8ft long and a sickly green color) to France as escargots.
''Miscellaneous Mugwump Facts''
The belief that AIDS originated in a tribe of monkeys in Africa is a common misconception. This rumor has spread due to the sick monkey raping perversion common in Mugwump culture.
The Mugwumps were almost wiped out in the secret World War 2.5 when every country that hated them tried to destroy the race and halt the spread of AIDS. They obviously failed.
Another interesting fact is that the Mugwumps do not have livers. The archives in the capitol of Mugwumpland, Kublakhan, state that they were stolen by the first Australians. whether or not this is true, I cannot say.
Also, Mugwumps have a hard tim seeing in the day light, but they can see extremely well in the dark, even if it is pitch black. The reason for this is also unkown.
''Mugwump Americans''
Mugwumps don't generally make their presence know, so I cannot say how many countless Mugwump families are out there.
''The History of Mugwumpland''
The continent/country currently known as Mugwumpland has an interesting History. It is believed it went like this;
When God was creating the Hawaiian islands, he was just about to finish one of the volcanoes when, while all the lava was bubbling up towards the top, he sneezed. This sent a massive quantity of holy snot and lava flying into the ocean just South-East of Japan. This immediately began to form a continent almost as large as the state of Texas. God thought for a moment and then said, "What the hell" and snapped his fingers thus populating the island with the first Mugwumps.
''The Creation of AIDS and Tourettes Syndrome and Their Connection to Mugwumpland''
During World War 2, the first time the Americans attempted to bomb Japan, one of the less experienced Pilots missed and accidentally bombed Mugwumpland. The resulting waves of radiation, strangely enough, didn't immediately kill many Mugwumps. Instead it infected them with the deadly Sexually Transmitted Disease known as The AIDS. Also, oddly, in the later generations of Mugwumps, it doesn't always kill them, the virus just uses them as a host so that it can spread. Due to their extreme anger from being bombed and infected with AIDS, the Mugwumps also developed the overwhelming and uncontrollable anger disease known as Tourettes Syndrome. For more information about Tourettes Syndrome visit www.tourettesguy.com.
''The Economy of Mugwumpland''
Although not as economically advanced as The US, Great Britain, China, or even Saudi Arabia, the residents of Mugwumpland have become rich by selling their giant booger slugs and snails(some of the only native animals of Mugwumpland, they are about 8ft long and a sickly green color) to France as escargots.
''Miscellaneous Mugwump Facts''
The belief that AIDS originated in a tribe of monkeys in Africa is a common misconception. This rumor has spread due to the sick monkey raping perversion common in Mugwump culture.
The Mugwumps were almost wiped out in the secret World War 2.5 when every country that hated them tried to destroy the race and halt the spread of AIDS. They obviously failed.
Another interesting fact is that the Mugwumps do not have livers. The archives in the capitol of Mugwumpland, Kublakhan, state that they were stolen by the first Australians. whether or not this is true, I cannot say.
Also, Mugwumps have a hard tim seeing in the day light, but they can see extremely well in the dark, even if it is pitch black. The reason for this is also unkown.
''Mugwump Americans''
Mugwumps don't generally make their presence know, so I cannot say how many countless Mugwump families are out there.
by CJHat December 23, 2008