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Crop Spraying

Similar to Crop Dusting, Crop Spraying is when one passes gas while walking or running but accidentally expelling excrement as well through one's trousers.
Brad: "I was going to crop dust my little nephew when he was bending over to pet the dog but I accidentally ended up crop spraying them and coating them both with thick diarrhea."
by CATFOOODS January 31, 2012
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The Old Door Trick

The method of removing a soiled tampon by connecting the string to a doorknob with a longer string and then slamming the door. Similar to how adult teeth are extracted.

It is common practice and courtesy to drape plastic sheeting along the walls, ceiling, and flooring if this is not performed in one's own home.
Lina: "Oh shit, my period ended a week ago and I forgot to take out my tampon! It looks like it's not budging... I better resort to The Old Door Trick before the TSS sets in!"
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Calico Smingsmangs

A variation of the brutal sexually transmitted disease (Smingsmangs) where the functions of the vagina and the anus trade places without physically moving.
Nancy: "Wow Peggy, you have quite a robust queef!"
Peggy: "I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually gas escaping from my rectum. I caught the Calico Smingsmangs while serving time in Vietnam and all of my feces have been oozing from my vagina ever since."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Taxidinker

A taxidermy penis of an animal used as a dildo for sexual activities.

Taxidinkers are commonly made from exotic animals such as bears, horses, and dalmatians.
Robert: "Mom laid the cow penis on the kitchen counter when she was cooking last night instead of throwing it out. Yuck!"
Billy: "Butchers don't give you the penis, Robert... That sounds like a taxidinker if you ask me. Your mom is hot."
Robert: "Shut up, Dad!"
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Smegmatician

A connoisseur of smegma who is very skilled in identifying, producing, and harvesting the delicious substance.
Tony: "This wine is bland."
Justin: "Good thing you are in the presence of a smegmatician! I have the perfect fresh smegma to pair with this bottle."
by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012
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Anaconda Kiss

The moment when a male passes a bowel movement so long that it slaps his scrotum on the way down. It is often necessary that the male stand up in order to accomodate the impressive length and properly birth the entire fecal celebration.
Lance: "What is that brown smudge on the back of your balls?"
Mark: "That's an Anaconda Kiss. I took a dump so huge that I got a free high-five after cutting it with my powerful sphincter."
by CATFOOODS September 3, 2013
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Poopyrus

An early form of paper made by the feces of Ancient Egyptians with flat, long anuses. Their anuses looked similar to that of a dollar or credit card slot of an ATM machine.
Sean: "I hate when people complain about how many trees are killed to make paper. At least we don't have to use Poopyrus."
Travis: "Is your mom Egyptian? Her anus is ugly."
by CATFOOODS February 9, 2012
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