CATFOOODS's definitions

Shit Bath

The act of pouring bubble bath, bath salts, or dish soap in the toilet prior to passing a bowel movement. Many people enjoy listening to sounds of nature records while performing a shit bath.

Kelly: "I feel like I have been neglecting my mud muffins lately. My poop has been nothing but good to me and I haven't done a single nice thing back. I'm going to treat the next one to a nice shit bath."
Dad: "Don't use the good laundry detergent."

by CATFOOODS February 1, 2012

Anaconda Kiss

The moment when a male passes a bowel movement so long that it slaps his scrotum on the way down. It is often necessary that the male stand up in order to accomodate the impressive length and properly birth the entire fecal celebration.

Lance: "What is that brown smudge on the back of your balls?"
Mark: "That's an Anaconda Kiss. I took a dump so huge that I got a free high-five after cutting it with my powerful sphincter."

by CATFOOODS September 3, 2013

Glitter Fish

A bowel movement that has been left in the toilet and covered in glitter to create the illusion of a radiant and glamorous fish.

Sandra: "Aw man, I thought I found jewelry in the toilet again but my brother just left a glitter fish floating around."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Tuna Drops

Putrid smelling mud monkeys/bowel movements that slide out like slippery fish after eating nothing but a bounty of seafood for a week. The odor is often so foul that victims mistakenly find the smell delightful and immediately develop mercury poisoning.

Jake: "Dude, don't go in the bathroom for a while. I just had the gnarliest tuna drops."
Sam: "I'm hungry."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

The Old Door Trick

The method of removing a soiled tampon by connecting the string to a doorknob with a longer string and then slamming the door. Similar to how adult teeth are extracted.

It is common practice and courtesy to drape plastic sheeting along the walls, ceiling, and flooring if this is not performed in one's own home.

Lina: "Oh shit, my period ended a week ago and I forgot to take out my tampon! It looks like it's not budging... I better resort to The Old Door Trick before the TSS sets in!"

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Wonder Jar

When a man places his penis or taxidinker into a jar full of water to make it look bigger.

Kyle: "That's fucking disgusting dude, get that wonder jar out of here."
Nick: "It's not a wonder jar... I just fell dick first off the balcony at a mason jar factory."
Kyle: "Your dick is small and ugly."

by CATFOOODS March 6, 2012

Reef Queef

Technique commonly used by free divers where a person sucks the air from a woman's vagina while underwater. This is also regularly taught as a survival technique if driving a vehicle into a body of water with a female passenger.

Jack would not have drowned as quickly if he knew to breathe in Rose's reef queef.

by CATFOOODS January 31, 2012