CATFOOODS's definitions

Reef Queef

Technique commonly used by free divers where a person sucks the air from a woman's vagina while underwater. This is also regularly taught as a survival technique if driving a vehicle into a body of water with a female passenger.

Jack would not have drowned as quickly if he knew to breathe in Rose's reef queef.

by CATFOOODS January 31, 2012

Tuna Drops

Putrid smelling mud monkeys/bowel movements that slide out like slippery fish after eating nothing but a bounty of seafood for a week. The odor is often so foul that victims mistakenly find the smell delightful and immediately develop mercury poisoning.

Jake: "Dude, don't go in the bathroom for a while. I just had the gnarliest tuna drops."
Sam: "I'm hungry."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Glitter Fish

A bowel movement that has been left in the toilet and covered in glitter to create the illusion of a radiant and glamorous fish.

Sandra: "Aw man, I thought I found jewelry in the toilet again but my brother just left a glitter fish floating around."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Crop Spraying

Similar to Crop Dusting, Crop Spraying is when one passes gas while walking or running but accidentally expelling excrement as well through one's trousers.

Brad: "I was going to crop dust my little nephew when he was bending over to pet the dog but I accidentally ended up crop spraying them and coating them both with thick diarrhea."

by CATFOOODS January 31, 2012

Calico Smingsmangs

A variation of the brutal sexually transmitted disease (Smingsmangs) where the functions of the vagina and the anus trade places without physically moving.

Nancy: "Wow Peggy, you have quite a robust queef!"
Peggy: "I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually gas escaping from my rectum. I caught the Calico Smingsmangs while serving time in Vietnam and all of my feces have been oozing from my vagina ever since."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Taxidinker

A taxidermy penis of an animal used as a dildo for sexual activities.

Taxidinkers are commonly made from exotic animals such as bears, horses, and dalmatians.

Robert: "Mom laid the cow penis on the kitchen counter when she was cooking last night instead of throwing it out. Yuck!"
Billy: "Butchers don't give you the penis, Robert... That sounds like a taxidinker if you ask me. Your mom is hot."
Robert: "Shut up, Dad!"

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Anaconda Kiss

The moment when a male passes a bowel movement so long that it slaps his scrotum on the way down. It is often necessary that the male stand up in order to accomodate the impressive length and properly birth the entire fecal celebration.

Lance: "What is that brown smudge on the back of your balls?"
Mark: "That's an Anaconda Kiss. I took a dump so huge that I got a free high-five after cutting it with my powerful sphincter."

by CATFOOODS September 3, 2013