CATFOOODS's definitions

Mookie Stamps

The marks left behind when an individual delicately presses one's anus against a surface or another person after passing a bowel movement without wiping.

Tyler: "I am never inviting Grandpa over for dinner again. He left mookie stamps all over my bedroom! And where's the dog?!"

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Wonder Jar

When a man places his penis or taxidinker into a jar full of water to make it look bigger.

Kyle: "That's fucking disgusting dude, get that wonder jar out of here."
Nick: "It's not a wonder jar... I just fell dick first off the balcony at a mason jar factory."
Kyle: "Your dick is small and ugly."

by CATFOOODS March 6, 2012

Calico Smingsmangs

A variation of the brutal sexually transmitted disease (Smingsmangs) where the functions of the vagina and the anus trade places without physically moving.

Nancy: "Wow Peggy, you have quite a robust queef!"
Peggy: "I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually gas escaping from my rectum. I caught the Calico Smingsmangs while serving time in Vietnam and all of my feces have been oozing from my vagina ever since."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Taxidinker

A taxidermy penis of an animal used as a dildo for sexual activities.

Taxidinkers are commonly made from exotic animals such as bears, horses, and dalmatians.

Robert: "Mom laid the cow penis on the kitchen counter when she was cooking last night instead of throwing it out. Yuck!"
Billy: "Butchers don't give you the penis, Robert... That sounds like a taxidinker if you ask me. Your mom is hot."
Robert: "Shut up, Dad!"

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Poopyrus

An early form of paper made by the feces of Ancient Egyptians with flat, long anuses. Their anuses looked similar to that of a dollar or credit card slot of an ATM machine.

Sean: "I hate when people complain about how many trees are killed to make paper. At least we don't have to use Poopyrus."
Travis: "Is your mom Egyptian? Her anus is ugly."

by CATFOOODS February 9, 2012

Clean Sweep

When an individual passes a bowel movement and has no need to wipe because of the toilet paper he or she has been eating.

Mary: "Damnit Todd, that toilet paper is fucking expensive! Stop eating it!"
Todd: "I thought you would like that I am an advocate for the clean sweep. Want some salad?"

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Reef Queef

Technique commonly used by free divers where a person sucks the air from a woman's vagina while underwater. This is also regularly taught as a survival technique if driving a vehicle into a body of water with a female passenger.

Jack would not have drowned as quickly if he knew to breathe in Rose's reef queef.

by CATFOOODS January 31, 2012