Definitions by CATFOOODS

Anaconda Kiss

The moment when a male passes a bowel movement so long that it slaps his scrotum on the way down. It is often necessary that the male stand up in order to accomodate the impressive length and properly birth the entire fecal celebration.

Lance: "What is that brown smudge on the back of your balls?"
Mark: "That's an Anaconda Kiss. I took a dump so huge that I got a free high-five after cutting it with my powerful sphincter."

Anaconda Kiss by CATFOOODS September 3, 2013

Wonder Jar 

When a man places his penis or taxidinker into a jar full of water to make it look bigger.

Kyle: "That's fucking disgusting dude, get that wonder jar out of here."
Nick: "It's not a wonder jar... I just fell dick first off the balcony at a mason jar factory."
Kyle: "Your dick is small and ugly."

Wonder Jar by CATFOOODS March 6, 2012

Tip Splitter 

When an item is jammed so deep and hard into a man's urethra that the opening rips, making the penis look like a snake's tongue.

Roger: "Damn son, your piss is spraying everywhere! You wearing a fan spray nozzle on your weiner or something?"
Jim: "Nah dude, I fell dick first on a screwdriver last night and it gave me a tip splitter."

Tip Splitter by CATFOOODS February 11, 2012

Poopyrus

An early form of paper made by the feces of Ancient Egyptians with flat, long anuses. Their anuses looked similar to that of a dollar or credit card slot of an ATM machine.

Sean: "I hate when people complain about how many trees are killed to make paper. At least we don't have to use Poopyrus."
Travis: "Is your mom Egyptian? Her anus is ugly."

Poopyrus by CATFOOODS February 9, 2012

Shit Bath 

The act of pouring bubble bath, bath salts, or dish soap in the toilet prior to passing a bowel movement. Many people enjoy listening to sounds of nature records while performing a shit bath.

Kelly: "I feel like I have been neglecting my mud muffins lately. My poop has been nothing but good to me and I haven't done a single nice thing back. I'm going to treat the next one to a nice shit bath."
Dad: "Don't use the good laundry detergent."

Shit Bath by CATFOOODS February 1, 2012

Reef Queef 

Technique commonly used by free divers where a person sucks the air from a woman's vagina while underwater. This is also regularly taught as a survival technique if driving a vehicle into a body of water with a female passenger.

Jack would not have drowned as quickly if he knew to breathe in Rose's reef queef.

Reef Queef by CATFOOODS January 31, 2012

Crop Spraying 

Similar to Crop Dusting, Crop Spraying is when one passes gas while walking or running but accidentally expelling excrement as well through one's trousers.

Brad: "I was going to crop dust my little nephew when he was bending over to pet the dog but I accidentally ended up crop spraying them and coating them both with thick diarrhea."

Crop Spraying by CATFOOODS January 31, 2012