CATFOOODS's definitions

Mookie Stamps

The marks left behind when an individual delicately presses one's anus against a surface or another person after passing a bowel movement without wiping.

Tyler: "I am never inviting Grandpa over for dinner again. He left mookie stamps all over my bedroom! And where's the dog?!"

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Wonder Jar

When a man places his penis or taxidinker into a jar full of water to make it look bigger.

Kyle: "That's fucking disgusting dude, get that wonder jar out of here."
Nick: "It's not a wonder jar... I just fell dick first off the balcony at a mason jar factory."
Kyle: "Your dick is small and ugly."

by CATFOOODS March 6, 2012

Anaconda Kiss

The moment when a male passes a bowel movement so long that it slaps his scrotum on the way down. It is often necessary that the male stand up in order to accomodate the impressive length and properly birth the entire fecal celebration.

Lance: "What is that brown smudge on the back of your balls?"
Mark: "That's an Anaconda Kiss. I took a dump so huge that I got a free high-five after cutting it with my powerful sphincter."

by CATFOOODS September 3, 2013

Shit Bath

The act of pouring bubble bath, bath salts, or dish soap in the toilet prior to passing a bowel movement. Many people enjoy listening to sounds of nature records while performing a shit bath.

Kelly: "I feel like I have been neglecting my mud muffins lately. My poop has been nothing but good to me and I haven't done a single nice thing back. I'm going to treat the next one to a nice shit bath."
Dad: "Don't use the good laundry detergent."

by CATFOOODS February 1, 2012

Calico Smingsmangs

A variation of the brutal sexually transmitted disease (Smingsmangs) where the functions of the vagina and the anus trade places without physically moving.

Nancy: "Wow Peggy, you have quite a robust queef!"
Peggy: "I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually gas escaping from my rectum. I caught the Calico Smingsmangs while serving time in Vietnam and all of my feces have been oozing from my vagina ever since."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Reef Queef

Technique commonly used by free divers where a person sucks the air from a woman's vagina while underwater. This is also regularly taught as a survival technique if driving a vehicle into a body of water with a female passenger.

Jack would not have drowned as quickly if he knew to breathe in Rose's reef queef.

by CATFOOODS January 31, 2012

Clean Sweep

When an individual passes a bowel movement and has no need to wipe because of the toilet paper he or she has been eating.

Mary: "Damnit Todd, that toilet paper is fucking expensive! Stop eating it!"
Todd: "I thought you would like that I am an advocate for the clean sweep. Want some salad?"

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012