CATFOOODS's definitions

Helicopter Splatter

A form of painting where a man dips his penis in a quality paint and proceeds to whip his penis around in a circular propeller motion.

Clockwise helicopter splatter tends to result in a more smooth and even coating, while counter-clockwise often results in a more textured and artistic look.

Circumcised penises hold more paint, similar to a longer nap on a paint roller.

Jane: "I really want to paint my room but I forgot to buy brushes. Too bad I don't have a penis, otherwise I would just helicopter splatter all over this motherfucker."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Tip Splitter

When an item is jammed so deep and hard into a man's urethra that the opening rips, making the penis look like a snake's tongue.

Roger: "Damn son, your piss is spraying everywhere! You wearing a fan spray nozzle on your weiner or something?"
Jim: "Nah dude, I fell dick first on a screwdriver last night and it gave me a tip splitter."

by CATFOOODS February 11, 2012

Wonder Jar

When a man places his penis or taxidinker into a jar full of water to make it look bigger.

Kyle: "That's fucking disgusting dude, get that wonder jar out of here."
Nick: "It's not a wonder jar... I just fell dick first off the balcony at a mason jar factory."
Kyle: "Your dick is small and ugly."

by CATFOOODS March 6, 2012

Anaconda Kiss

The moment when a male passes a bowel movement so long that it slaps his scrotum on the way down. It is often necessary that the male stand up in order to accomodate the impressive length and properly birth the entire fecal celebration.

Lance: "What is that brown smudge on the back of your balls?"
Mark: "That's an Anaconda Kiss. I took a dump so huge that I got a free high-five after cutting it with my powerful sphincter."

by CATFOOODS September 3, 2013

Poopyrus

An early form of paper made by the feces of Ancient Egyptians with flat, long anuses. Their anuses looked similar to that of a dollar or credit card slot of an ATM machine.

Sean: "I hate when people complain about how many trees are killed to make paper. At least we don't have to use Poopyrus."
Travis: "Is your mom Egyptian? Her anus is ugly."

by CATFOOODS February 9, 2012

Calico Smingsmangs

A variation of the brutal sexually transmitted disease (Smingsmangs) where the functions of the vagina and the anus trade places without physically moving.

Nancy: "Wow Peggy, you have quite a robust queef!"
Peggy: "I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually gas escaping from my rectum. I caught the Calico Smingsmangs while serving time in Vietnam and all of my feces have been oozing from my vagina ever since."

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012

Taxidinker

A taxidermy penis of an animal used as a dildo for sexual activities.

Taxidinkers are commonly made from exotic animals such as bears, horses, and dalmatians.

Robert: "Mom laid the cow penis on the kitchen counter when she was cooking last night instead of throwing it out. Yuck!"
Billy: "Butchers don't give you the penis, Robert... That sounds like a taxidinker if you ask me. Your mom is hot."
Robert: "Shut up, Dad!"

by CATFOOODS January 29, 2012