17 definitions by CATFOOODS

Top Definition
Technique commonly used by free divers where a person sucks the air from a woman's vagina while underwater. This is also regularly taught as a survival technique if driving a vehicle into a body of water with a female passenger.
Jack would not have drowned as quickly if he knew to breathe in Rose's reef queef.
by CATFOOODS January 18, 2012
Similar to Crop Dusting, Crop Spraying is when one passes gas while walking or running but accidentally expelling excrement as well through one's trousers.
Brad: "I was going to crop dust my little nephew when he was bending over to pet the dog but I accidentally ended up crop spraying them and coating them both with thick diarrhea."
by CATFOOODS January 18, 2012
A form of painting where a man dips his penis in a quality paint and proceeds to whip his penis around in a circular propeller motion.

Clockwise helicopter splatter tends to result in a more smooth and even coating, while counter-clockwise often results in a more textured and artistic look.

Circumcised penises hold more paint, similar to a longer nap on a paint roller.
Jane: "I really want to paint my room but I forgot to buy brushes. Too bad I don't have a penis, otherwise I would just helicopter splatter all over this motherfucker."
by CATFOOODS January 17, 2012
The moment when a male passes a bowel movement so long that it slaps his scrotum on the way down. It is often necessary that the male stand up in order to accomodate the impressive length and properly birth the entire fecal celebration.
Lance: "What is that brown smudge on the back of your balls?"
Mark: "That's an Anaconda Kiss. I took a dump so huge that I got a free high-five after cutting it with my powerful sphincter."
by CATFOOODS August 01, 2013
An early form of paper made by the feces of Ancient Egyptians with flat, long anuses. Their anuses looked similar to that of a dollar or credit card slot of an ATM machine.
Sean: "I hate when people complain about how many trees are killed to make paper. At least we don't have to use Poopyrus."
Travis: "Is your mom Egyptian? Her anus is ugly."
by CATFOOODS January 21, 2012
The method of removing a soiled tampon by connecting the string to a doorknob with a longer string and then slamming the door. Similar to how adult teeth are extracted.

It is common practice and courtesy to drape plastic sheeting along the walls, ceiling, and flooring if this is not performed in one's own home.
Lina: "Oh shit, my period ended a week ago and I forgot to take out my tampon! It looks like it's not budging... I better resort to The Old Door Trick before the TSS sets in!"
by CATFOOODS January 17, 2012
The marks left behind when an individual delicately presses one's anus against a surface or another person after passing a bowel movement without wiping.
Tyler: "I am never inviting Grandpa over for dinner again. He left mookie stamps all over my bedroom! And where's the dog?!"
by CATFOOODS January 17, 2012

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