Burt Milhorse Eriksson's definitions

milifairy

Military after the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Bob: "The Westboro Baptist Church doesn't approve gays in the military."
Connie: "They see the institution as milifairy."

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 17, 2021

mesh

The symbol # i.e. mesh is known as the number sign, hash or – in North America – the pound sign. Babies and kiddies started calling it hashtag somewhere in the 2010s and it became one the most cancerous forced memes ever, breaking through from the internet into real life.

Bob: "I remember when the »fence made of brushwood» symbol was called »mesh»."
Connie: "»Mesh»?"
Bob: "Yeah, you know – the »#» sign."
Connie: "Oh, THAT fucking cancer...!"

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson June 4, 2021

dirt-switching

When you are trying on the fly to change your facts you use as your arguments in a debate, albeit they are coherent and valid facts that are related to each other. It refers to the act of trying to change the dirt, on which your vegetables or plants are growing, into a better, more fertile soil amidst the growing season.

Bob: "...yet somehow this small group of people are responsible for..
Melvin: "Bigot! Hate speech! You talk like that in 2021? SERIOUSLY?"
Bob: "Well, this same group of people are still less likely to be shot at by the police.."
Melvin: "Racist! Bigot! Hate crime! Dirt-switching! DIRT-SWITCHING!"

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson June 26, 2021

ain't

Short for "am not" and for nothing else – not even "is not", for "it ain't" would just be "it am not". The only correct use is "I ain't" which is a contraction of "I am not". So, don't say e.g. "you ain't" which would only mean "you am not".

Clinique: "Let 'im go, he didn't do nothing!"
TyRone: "I ain't done nothing! I ain't done no nothing!"
LaKeisha: "You bastards, let us go! I ain't done none!"
Barackeisha: "You let 'em go!! They's ain't have done nothing! They ain't have done none!"

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 11, 2021

blart

A portmanteau of "blood" and "fart". Meant to be a flatus; a wind; a whoopee or an emittance of intestinal gas (also known as the "ass belch") which involuntarily becomes a discharge of slimy matter that is a mixture of excrement and blood.

Melvin: "Did you hear that? Is it Chinese new year already?"
Sparky: "Naah, I just blarted. I guess I need to go home and.. Yup."

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 13, 2021

propinquity

Use this word when you want to seem smart – or stupid. It's your choice, really. (It's all just a big game of fortuna, as it's the other people that form their opinion on you and you cannot really affect that process.) It's the type of word you only see on the "most searched" list of dictionary.com and on Yahoo!'s headlines (the latter-mentioned explains the first-mentioned).

People who have to look up this word are either too smart or "too dumb" and if this being the case, they are also very likely to read Yahoo! News. Why Yahoo! in the first place uses words that are understood only by 0.01‰ (1 out of 100 000) of the population, remains yet unclear. But when you are seen to use this word, people will know (if they're intelligent enough) that you got it from nowhere else than Yahoo! News...

Woody: "The propinquity of these – pardon my sterile approach on the topic – two given objects is inversely proportional to..
Bob: "Why don't you just say "approximity" or "distance" or something?"
Woody: "W-what? I don't.."
Bob: "Yes, you do. Don't play stupid."
Gary: "Yeah, man. Don't use words that are understood only by 3500 Americans – that's what Yahoo! News does."

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 12, 2021

ficus

A plant belonging to the genus Ficus; a homosexual male. Because of their delecate, "plant-like" habitus including their clothing (Hawaiian, floral-patterned T-shirts) and their tendency towards becoming a florist (if they're not a hairdresser).

Bob: "Look at Gary walking there on the street! Doesn't he looks fancy?"
Connie: "I heard he's a ficus."
Bob: "A what?"
Connie: "A ficus. You know... An assbandit."
Bob: "What?"
Connie: "Nevermind."

by Burt Milhorse Eriksson April 8, 2021