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Bobby the Bug Man's definitions

Greg's List

Very much like Craig's List, except the shit being sold were stolen from the workplace. Items such as vacuum cleaners.
Where the fuck is the drill?? "Have you checked on Greg's List?" If that piece of shit stole it, I'm going to burn him in his wood-fire pizza oven.
by Bobby the Bug Man August 22, 2020
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corporate fellatio

A politically correct workplace word for the act of metaphorically sucking one's boss's dick (or strap-on) or going well out of one's way to get a promotion, raise, day off, ect. that is beyond normal brown-nosing.
Hey man, Terry's in the Director's office performing some corporate fellatio again. Let's see if he wipes off his mouth when he comes out.
by Bobby the Bug Man August 18, 2020
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blown surprise

A bar trick usually performed by a female server or bar tender on a patron that has closed their tab and hung around to bullshit with their friends. At this point, the server/bar tender re-engages with the non-tipper to tell them the legend of if you blow on one’s asshole, one is unable to shit. With that, the patron calls shenanigans and asks the server/bar tender to prove it. Without hesitation, the server has the cheap bastard lie on their back on the bar/a table/the floor, pulls down her pants to expose her balloon knot, then has the scumbag blow a sweet breeze. Upon the wind hitting the chocolate star, she releases an extrusion of warm soft-served shitty logs onto the mother fucker’s face.
Yo, the other night I hung out with a buddy at the Watering Hole and he brought his dumbass coworker with him. That mother fucker bought over $100 of booze and didn’t tip the bar tender. He then hung around like Epstein in a jail cell. Eventually the bar tender told him THE legend and as expected, he didn’t believe it and asked her to prove it. So, she gave him the blown surprise and released Thursdays meatloaf all over his face. It was epic!
by Bobby the Bug Man October 5, 2020
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Sonic Poo

This is an event that occurs when a shit has brewed under the extreme pressure of last night’s streak and you’re now sitting on the commode ready to unload. At this moment, the gas escapes as such a velocity that you no longer have the sphincter strength to stop this hell from escaping. Usually it starts with a quick clap, followed by gigantic explosion that breaks the sound barrier, then ends with a dry-to-wet sputtering that let leads to feces in any state of matter to then rely on gravity to make a splash. It should also be pointed out that the explosion has a specific echo that is purely unique to this event. And, you ALL know what I mean.
I just had the most epic sonic poo of my life. The pressure was immense and I may be deaf now.
by Bobby the Bug Man January 27, 2022
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The reveal

When you've taken a large, stinky dump in the office bathroom, finished up, opened the door and presented yourself at the sink and have been identified as the culprit of the most ridiculous aroma imaginable.
Dude, I was blowing up the toilet in the men's bathroom and someone came in and started choking like they needed CPR. When I came out for the reveal, I realized it was our boss!
by Bobby the Bug Man August 1, 2020
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procrastifart

When you put off taking a shit for so long that your farts go from smelling like typical gas to just pure shit as the air upon release passes over and around a gigantic turd.
Who the fuck just shit themselves?? "Sorry, that was me. It was just a procrastifart. I'm good."
by Bobby the Bug Man August 25, 2020
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shitcessful

When, on the backside of a night of major drinking, you sit down on the commode and use those 8 Coronas to push your wife’s meatloaf through your balloon knot and into the toilet where it should have gone in the first place. All while having the extruded log going from what looks like old petrified, burnt bark to smooth light-brown peanut butter.
Hey Tom, you having a good day? “Man, I’m having a shitcessful day!” Oh really? Did you blow out that struggle plug or something? “Dude, I reset my bowels to Thursday before my wife fed me a meatloaf that looked like a dead cat. I feel like I can take over the world now!!”
by Bobby the Bug Man September 21, 2020
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