Instant Messaging Domestic Partner
An IMDP is someone you chat with online more than you speak to anyone else; this includes people living w/ you. The first things you do when you wake up are login to your IM and await the popup window w/ “good morn’n” - the first of the day’s 900+ lines of chat. You IM about everything from life, love, relationships, friendships, pets, family, kids, taking shits, fashion, lack of bathing, people you are stalking, people stalking you, farts, food, barf, boogers, dicks, dildos, sex, music, movies, work, people you hate, people you love and a true IMDP IMing session will have multiple conversations happening simultaneously w/out confusion. IMing your IMDP will take top priority over important things such as work & family. You may IM while at the dinner table with your family, while watching TV, or talking on the phone with a real person, and most importantly you will IM about the shit you are taking as you are taking it! Your IMDP is the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person at night. You talk about your IMDP on the rare occasions you are not IMing with them. While on dates your conversations will likely start with “OMG, the other day my IMDP IM’ed me saying….”. Friday and Saturday nights are spent together, each with a bottle (or 10) of $2 wine, IMing each other while getting shit faced drunk & laughing at how pathetic your lives have become but secretly enjoying the late night cyber boozing!
A real excerpt from an I.M.D.P. chat (names changed)....
Jane: Good Morning!
Jill: Morn’n! I was watching Glee this morning and the mean cheerleading coach was doing the master cleanse but she made hers with lemons, syrup, Cayenne pepper, and ipecac! LOL might try that
Jane: wow - I have never tried it
Jill: I call it the "leave work early cocktail"
Jane: what does it feel like?
Jill: like a delicious mix of healthy bulimia and freedom from the man! LOL
Jane: MY DOG JUST DRANK MY PEE
THE ONE TIME I flush