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14 definitions by Bachelor boB

 
1.
n. A person who is sexually attractive due to the entirely natural state of their body; the person's defining characteristic. Not intentionally masculine, feminine, or androgynous, as those labels are continuously redefined by each society. Rather, a person who is overtly real, unmodified, and physically defined only by their genes and their interaction with the environment.

adj. (of a person) sexually attracted to unmodified people.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction to natural body image : hikersexual desire.
Oh Shari. I just can't take it anymore. All society offers me are metrosexuals, poofs, prettyboys, armchair warriors, billboard cowboys, and emos. I'm gonna' thru-hike the A.T. in hopes of finding one of those dreamy hikersexuals. You know; a *real* man!

<beeeep> Hey Bob... just wanted you to know. I threw my trophy wife out yesterday. I got tired of waking up next to someone I didn't recognize or want until after she'd spent 3 hours putting herself together every morning. I quit my job, put my place on the market, and am headed for the P.C.T. to locate one of those backcountry hikersexual babes. You know; a chick with brown body hair, everywhere nature intends.
by Bachelor boB December 04, 2007
48 9
 
2.
|iˈˌnəθi ng |

n. An enlisted member of the US military below the rank of E-5. Someone without sufficient authority over anyone/anything to cause any real affect. Considered inept by anyone E-6 or higher, regardless of how demonstrably capable. Used in a derogatory fashion by E-6 and above; used in a amiable fashion by E-5 and below. *The* place to be in the US military.
Shitstain: "This P-way hasn't been swabbed in over 12 hours! Get some E-nothing in here with a bucket."

E-5: "Time to bust up the Khakis with an E-nothing luncheon."
by Bachelor boB June 16, 2010
41 4
 
3.
A sexual partner used as exercise equipment, specifically for aerobic, standing, rear-entry penetration. To qualify, the penetrator must manipulate his partner's nipples.
co-worker: "Bob, you're looking fit."

Bob: "You bet! It's amazing what 10 minutes a day on my nipliptical does for the glutes."
by Bachelor boB May 04, 2007
38 3
 
4.
A dysphemism for infatuation, specifically a man's for a woman. Used to express such extreme infatuation that the man would go to any length to please the woman in an attempt to enter into a relationship with her. Discovering "her" to actually be a transvestite or transgendered male and the heterosexual male then proceeding to perform oral sex on the "woman" is the quintessential example of extreme infatuation. This implies that any lesser requirement for a relationship is well within the man's willingness to provide.
boB: "Jacey is so hot, I'd suck her dick!"
Paul: "Yes, she has many fine qualities, but that's certainly beyond the pale."
boB: "Yeah, well, we'll see who taps that ass first."
Paul: "Ironically, that may be 'her' primary sexual orifice. Let's hope you can achieve copulatory success without resorting to such lengths."
boB: "Wa?"
by Bachelor boB January 07, 2011
39 7
 
5.
1) any female who dresses as though she weighs 15-30 lbs. less than she actually does. Frequently sports an exposed roll of non-baby fat overlapping the waist of her pants and/or breasts unintentionally bulging out of bra cups.

2) any unacceptably unattractive female who would become acceptably attractive upon losing 15-30 lbs.
I hooked-up with a plumpkin at the mall food court, hoping to gradually sweat the jellyrolls off of her. But once she had a man, rather than getting leaner and hotter, she just got lazier and bought bigger clothes.
by Bachelor boB November 15, 2005
53 26
 
6.
|pē ē elz|

noun

Acronym for Pussy-Eating Lips. The equivalent of DSLs (Dick-Sucking Lips), but used on a vulva. Typically just fuller than average lips, but on a face one would enjoy receiving cunnilingus from. Can belong to either a man or a woman.
If Angelina Jolie ate hair pie, her DSLs would be mad PELs!

White chicks often develop jungle fever when they realize that the average spear chucker not only has more meat whistle, but also some serious PELs.
by Bachelor boB December 11, 2011
29 3
 
7.
ca•rap•ture | kə 'RAP chər |

noun

1. The highly publicized 'Carmageddon' event of Los Angeles, California's closure of I-405 beginning on July 16, 2011, which was in actuality as much of a non-event as the highly publicized 'Rapture' event of May 21, 2011 (i.e. car-rapture). Emphasis, both in pronunciation and interpretation, are placed on the crap component.
Just like the recently predicted Rapture, lots of live T.V. reporters were standing by for the I-405's Carmageddon. Unfortunately for their ratings, it turned out to be a Carapture.
by Bachelor boB July 16, 2011
26 0