Are2Dee2's definitions

Humiliation Expedition

A bad, or potentially/likely bad, date one goes on within the three-month period after being dumped.

Bob: What are you doing tonight after work?
Randy: Got another Humiliation Expedition; drinks at Local Option.
Bob: How'd you meet this one? Grinder?
Randy: Tinder asshole.

by Are2Dee2 September 29, 2014

shamecation

A vacation from a friend, activity, or location (e.g. bar, restaurant) due to committing a shame-inducing transgression (e.g. 86'd from a bar, making out with a friend's spouse). Typically lasts until one apologizes/settles the lawsuit to/with the aggrieved party.

Stan went on a shamecation from hanging out with Kyle after getting inappropriately drunk at his wife's birthday party and being thrown out of the restaurant for arguing with the Asian manager.

by Are2Dee2 September 29, 2014

braille-allel parking

parallel parking your car in a tight spot by bumping into the car in front and/or behind you.

I found an awesome spot on Clark St but I was barely able to fit my car into it. Luckily my dad taught me braille-allel parking.

by Are2Dee2 October 28, 2010

apple picking

Engaging in a pattern of theft where one "picks" apple products (typically iPhones) out of unsuspecting passenger hands on Chicago public transportation systems like the L.

Can be color-coded to denote specific lines of the L

"Haven't seen you in a minute man, where you been at?"

"I was Red apple picking last night and got 2 old 3Gs and a brand new 4GS."

"Better sell those quick before they get hot and woowoowoo."

by Are2Dee2 January 9, 2012

Browns Chicken Massacre

The big shit you take after eating a load of fried chicken (especially its from Brown's Chicken).

"I had a bucket full of Brown's Chicken and pasta last night and this morning did a Browns Chicken Massacre on my toilet."

by Are2Dee2 December 4, 2010

Fabian Strategy

Method of getting your way in disputes with your girlfriend by appearing to give into her demands. The Fabian strategy derives it's name from the Roman general Quintus Fabius Maximus. He ran away, rather than engage in battle, he would retreat and retreat until the enemy grew fatigued and eventually made a mistake. Though I abhor it as a military strategy, it is the basis for all successful personal relationships.

My girlfriend wanted to re-paint the hallway so rather than say yes or no, I employed the Fabian Strategy and asked her if her sister had done anything crazy lately. She spent an hour ranting about that and totally forgot to ask me about the paint samples she brought home. She is sleeping peacefully and Fabian (me) has retreated to his den where he is drinking scotch and playing Snood.

by Are2Dee2 March 25, 2011