Anonymous submissions's definitions

Cockoo

When the male phallus inadvertently emergences through the gap in one’s boxer shorts, often unbeknownst to the owner, and hence resembling a cuckoo clock chiming.
Unlike a cuckoo clock however, there is no pleasant sound, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.

Lawyer 1: ‘so I said rather comically, ‘mens rea’ sounds like the sibling of Dire and Gonnie, and she said..’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’

by Anonymous submissions January 21, 2024

Rosé tinted glasses

A phenomenon, similar to beer goggles whereby the more glasses of rosé a female consumes, the more attractive a male may appear. This then means that a beautiful woman may lower herself to a less-than-stunning bloke, should she consume enough glasses of rosé.

'Hey bro, come look at this stunning girl giving me the eye. She's obviously looking at me through rosé tinted glasses as she hasn't even noticed that I have vomit on my sweater or that my pecker is hanging out.'

by Anonymous submissions October 30, 2016

Cockoo

When the male phallus inadvertently emerges through the gap in one’s boxer shorts, often unbeknownst to the owner, and hence resembling a cuckoo clock chiming.
Unlike a cuckoo clock, however, there is no pleasant sound or imagery, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.

Lawyer 1: ‘so I said rather comically, ‘mens rea’ sounds like the sibling of Dire and Gonnie, and she said..’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah.’

by Anonymous submissions January 11, 2024

refined sugar

Sugar that has been to finishing school and now thinks it’s somehow superior to everyday sugar

Everyday sugar: ‘It’s my round mate, can I get you a pint?’
Refined sugar: ‘Can you ask the fine barkeep if he has any champagne from 1956? That was a truly delectable vintage.’
Everyday sugar: ‘Are you aware of how much of a massive cunt you actually are?’

by Anonymous submissions March 31, 2023

Spazzle

To dazzle an individual or crowd with one's ability to act like a complete and utter spaz.

'Geez, I really managed to spazzle my boss at the work Christmas party last night- I got so shitfaced that I tried to covertly relieve myself in a coke bottle under the dinner table. In hindsight it was pretty ambitious to think that the poo would have been able to get through the coke bottle neck..'

by Anonymous submissions December 20, 2017

Christmas Angel

1. An ornament of religious origin that traditionally sits atop a Christmas tree
2. To get your pine so far up an angelic looking girl's clacker that she starts seeing circles

'Hey bro, you know that hot nun from the convent? Well I bought her a couple of mulled wines last night before taking her home and making her into a Christmas Angel. If fucking a nun doesn't clear up these herpes then surely nothing will.

by Anonymous submissions December 6, 2016

Spastamacunted

Absolutely, unequivocally shitfaced.

Luke: ''Look at Harry- he's so spastamacunted that he's basically become a puddle; I honestly can't tell where he ends and the vomit and semen begins.''

Harry: ''Please, I'm not drunk- I've been raped and have a head injury- I need a doctor''

Luke: ''Classic Harry- always joking around, covered in jizz''

by Anonymous submissions September 24, 2018