Anonymous submissions's definitions
An acronym for the tragic and debilitating medical condition- Obsessive Compulsive Calendar Invite Dickhead. Sufferers are known to infuriatingly and incessantly send google calendar invites to acquaintances for even the most trivial of scheduled appointments, thus clogging up the unwilling recipients email, calendar and life. The only proven treatment is for the perpetrator to be euthanised.
Pottsy: 'It's your round, I'm going to go for a piss.'
George: 'Hang on, I need a piss too- I'll send you a calendar invite'
Pottsy: (farting disapprovingly) 'Your O.C.C.I.D. is next level...plus why the fuck does the calendar invite say 'Piss and Dutch rudder? It's not a Tuesday'
George: 'Hang on, I need a piss too- I'll send you a calendar invite'
Pottsy: (farting disapprovingly) 'Your O.C.C.I.D. is next level...plus why the fuck does the calendar invite say 'Piss and Dutch rudder? It's not a Tuesday'
by Anonymous submissions December 6, 2017
Get the O.C.C.I.D mug.A type of light entertainment that can be incorporated onto the Christmas table to add a bit of 'bang' to the traditional festive banquet. A smuttier and more entertaining alternative to the routine Christmas cracker, yet more prone to leave the operator with a bevy of sexually transmitted infections.
'Who wants to do this Christmas crackwhore with me? I'd go halvesies with Grandpa again, only last time we shared a Christmas crackwhore the bang gave him a stroke, and now his entire left side is more flaccid than Stephen Hawking's penis
by Anonymous submissions December 6, 2016
Get the Christmas Crackwhore mug.The visionary pornographic director behind such adult film classics as 'A tale of two clitties,' 'David Copafeel' and 'Great expecting Asians.'
'Dude, did you catch the new Charles Dickcunts porno on Pay-per-view last night? I haven't been that hard since I watched 'The Res-erection of Christ; this time Jesus does the nailing.'
by Anonymous submissions March 1, 2017
Get the Charles Dickcunts mug.Similar to the ancient Chinese slow form of torture, except more acknowledging that shagging 1000 gineys will both invariably take considerable time and leave the consumer with an array of diseases that will almost certainly lead to death. What a way to go though.
Babs: ‘What do you think would be the most cruel and unusual form of torture to use on Elton John?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
by Anonymous submissions October 13, 2022
Get the Death by a thousand cunts mug.When the male phallus inadvertently emergences through the gap in one’s boxer shorts, often unbeknownst to the owner, and hence resembling a cuckoo clock chiming.
Unlike a cuckoo clock however, there is no pleasant sound, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Unlike a cuckoo clock however, there is no pleasant sound, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Lawyer 1: ‘so I said rather comically, ‘mens rea’ sounds like the sibling of Dire and Gonnie, and she said..’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’
by Anonymous submissions January 21, 2024
Get the Cockoo mug.A phenomenon, similar to beer goggles whereby the more glasses of rosé a female consumes, the more attractive a male may appear. This then means that a beautiful woman may lower herself to a less-than-stunning bloke, should she consume enough glasses of rosé.
'Hey bro, come look at this stunning girl giving me the eye. She's obviously looking at me through rosé tinted glasses as she hasn't even noticed that I have vomit on my sweater or that my pecker is hanging out.'
by Anonymous submissions October 30, 2016
Get the Rosé tinted glasses mug.The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.
'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'
by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
Get the Masturbaker's dozen mug.