Anonymous submissions's definitions
When the male phallus inadvertently emergences through the gap in one’s boxer shorts, often unbeknownst to the owner, and hence resembling a cuckoo clock chiming.
Unlike a cuckoo clock however, there is no pleasant sound, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Unlike a cuckoo clock however, there is no pleasant sound, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Lawyer 1: ‘so I said rather comically, ‘mens rea’ sounds like the sibling of Dire and Gonnie, and she said..’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’
by Anonymous submissions January 21, 2024
Get the Cockoomug. A phenomenon, similar to beer goggles whereby the more glasses of rosé a female consumes, the more attractive a male may appear. This then means that a beautiful woman may lower herself to a less-than-stunning bloke, should she consume enough glasses of rosé.
'Hey bro, come look at this stunning girl giving me the eye. She's obviously looking at me through rosé tinted glasses as she hasn't even noticed that I have vomit on my sweater or that my pecker is hanging out.'
by Anonymous submissions October 30, 2016
Get the Rosé tinted glassesmug. A type of light entertainment that can be incorporated onto the Christmas table to add a bit of 'bang' to the traditional festive banquet. A smuttier and more entertaining alternative to the routine Christmas cracker, yet more prone to leave the operator with a bevy of sexually transmitted infections.
'Who wants to do this Christmas crackwhore with me? I'd go halvesies with Grandpa again, only last time we shared a Christmas crackwhore the bang gave him a stroke, and now his entire left side is more flaccid than Stephen Hawking's penis
by Anonymous submissions December 6, 2016
Get the Christmas Crackwhoremug. The visionary pornographic director behind such adult film classics as 'A tale of two clitties,' 'David Copafeel' and 'Great expecting Asians.'
'Dude, did you catch the new Charles Dickcunts porno on Pay-per-view last night? I haven't been that hard since I watched 'The Res-erection of Christ; this time Jesus does the nailing.'
by Anonymous submissions March 1, 2017
Get the Charles Dickcuntsmug. The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.
'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'
by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
Get the Masturbaker's dozenmug. Similar to the ancient Chinese slow form of torture, except more acknowledging that shagging 1000 gineys will both invariably take considerable time and leave the consumer with an array of diseases that will almost certainly lead to death. What a way to go though.
Babs: ‘What do you think would be the most cruel and unusual form of torture to use on Elton John?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
by Anonymous submissions October 13, 2022
Get the Death by a thousand cuntsmug. The systematic appraisal of a fanny (gash) using a set of predefined, uniform measures including smell, taste, acidity, presence of pubic hair, labia size and level of resemblance to a badly wrapped kebab. One should also comment upon how eager one is to 'smash' it, given the opportunity. Synonymous with 'gashessment'
So I did a fanalysis on Ruth last night and she scored really well- bald as a badger from her clunge to her aintcha, and kebab was well packed, but had to mark her down on the smell as it had the aroma of a rotting salmon carcas. Would still smash the shit out of it again though given the chance, but I'm all out of rufies, so can't see it happening anytime soon
by Anonymous submissions October 4, 2016
Get the fanalysismug.