Anonymous submissions's definitions
The metabolic ability of a female (or raging tail gunner) to process nature's yoghurt i.e. a teaspoon of sperm cider
Beatrice: 'Jessica, darling you look absolutely divine- you must tell me your diet secret'
Jessica: 'Well Beatrice, I guess I was just thankfully born with a stupendous metabojism as I manage to stay wafer-thin despite smoking more Poles than Hitler did in all of Word War II'
Jessica: 'Well Beatrice, I guess I was just thankfully born with a stupendous metabojism as I manage to stay wafer-thin despite smoking more Poles than Hitler did in all of Word War II'
by Anonymous submissions July 23, 2018
Get the Metabojismmug. A heterosexual male who is an excitable participant in all things pertaining to the stereotypical gay lifestyle other the physical act of fucking blokes.
Big Dog: ‘Babs, darling, shall we catch another show tonight? I heard that ‘Magic Mike’ is playing at the Palladium and it’s a spectacularly raunchy man-fest’
Babs: ‘Sounds good, Big Dog, just give me a sec to get the butt plug in and I’ll be ready’
Big Dog: ‘You fucking what, Babs?? We’re supposed to be hetero gay enthusiasts- it doesn’t work if you go full poofter on me, you queer cunt. Actually, here- take your feather boa and tank top back- Big Diz ain’t got no time for closeted shirt-lifters.’
Babs: ‘Sounds good, Big Dog, just give me a sec to get the butt plug in and I’ll be ready’
Big Dog: ‘You fucking what, Babs?? We’re supposed to be hetero gay enthusiasts- it doesn’t work if you go full poofter on me, you queer cunt. Actually, here- take your feather boa and tank top back- Big Diz ain’t got no time for closeted shirt-lifters.’
by Anonymous submissions September 12, 2024
Get the hetero gay enthusiastmug. When the male phallus inadvertently emerges through the gap in one’s boxer shorts, often unbeknownst to the owner, and hence resembling a cuckoo clock chiming.
Unlike a cuckoo clock, however, there is no pleasant sound or imagery, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Unlike a cuckoo clock, however, there is no pleasant sound or imagery, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Lawyer 1: ‘so I said rather comically, ‘mens rea’ sounds like the sibling of Dire and Gonnie, and she said..’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah.’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah.’
by Anonymous submissions January 11, 2024
Get the Cockoomug. Everyday sugar: ‘It’s my round mate, can I get you a pint?’
Refined sugar: ‘Can you ask the fine barkeep if he has any champagne from 1956? That was a truly delectable vintage.’
Everyday sugar: ‘Are you aware of how much of a massive cunt you actually are?’
Refined sugar: ‘Can you ask the fine barkeep if he has any champagne from 1956? That was a truly delectable vintage.’
Everyday sugar: ‘Are you aware of how much of a massive cunt you actually are?’
by Anonymous submissions March 31, 2023
Get the refined sugarmug. When the male phallus inadvertently emergences through the gap in one’s boxer shorts, often unbeknownst to the owner, and hence resembling a cuckoo clock chiming.
Unlike a cuckoo clock however, there is no pleasant sound, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Unlike a cuckoo clock however, there is no pleasant sound, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Lawyer 1: ‘so I said rather comically, ‘mens rea’ sounds like the sibling of Dire and Gonnie, and she said..’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’
by Anonymous submissions January 21, 2024
Get the Cockoomug. A phenomenon, similar to beer goggles whereby the more glasses of rosé a female consumes, the more attractive a male may appear. This then means that a beautiful woman may lower herself to a less-than-stunning bloke, should she consume enough glasses of rosé.
'Hey bro, come look at this stunning girl giving me the eye. She's obviously looking at me through rosé tinted glasses as she hasn't even noticed that I have vomit on my sweater or that my pecker is hanging out.'
by Anonymous submissions October 30, 2016
Get the Rosé tinted glassesmug. Similar to the ancient Chinese slow form of torture, except more acknowledging that shagging 1000 gineys will both invariably take considerable time and leave the consumer with an array of diseases that will almost certainly lead to death. What a way to go though.
Babs: ‘What do you think would be the most cruel and unusual form of torture to use on Elton John?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
by Anonymous submissions October 13, 2022
Get the Death by a thousand cuntsmug.