Anonymous submissions's definitions

Ejacelation

To be so elated by a perceived favourable outcome in an event, no matter how mediocre, that one proceeds to ejaculate without warning in one's pants, regardless of the social situation.

Dentist: 'You were well behaved at your appointment today David, so here's a sticker'
David: (jizzes in pants)
Dentist: 'Ejacelation?'
David: 'Nope, prostate cancer.'

by Anonymous submissions January 27, 2017

Juxtapussytion

A specific style of the artistic technique of 'juxtaposition' whereby one of the contrasting images contains a vagina motif.

'The Guggenheim has an incredibly powerful Andy Warhole work on display called 'pooch in the cooch.' The juxtapussytion of putting a Doberman in a midget's vagina not only made an interesting statement on the modern existential dilemma, but also gave me a bone so hard a dog couldn't chew through it.'

by Anonymous submissions January 29, 2017

Standard deviantAsian

A slant (pun intended) on the traditional statistical feature of standard deviation whereby the sexual deviance levels of an Asian male can be predicted by positive linear equation, as they are largely constant

'What is it about being a standard deviantAsian? Here I was minding my own business enjoying a spot of inoccuous Japanese porn in the work toilet cubicle on my lunch break when the whole thing inevitably descended into a bukkake fest. It was terribly off-putting. Those crazy Asians like filth nearly as much as they like rice and foot binding'

by Anonymous submissions December 30, 2016

Cockoo

When the male phallus inadvertently emergences through the gap in one’s boxer shorts, often unbeknownst to the owner, and hence resembling a cuckoo clock chiming.
Unlike a cuckoo clock however, there is no pleasant sound, just the unwelcome sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.

Lawyer 1: ‘so I said rather comically, ‘mens rea’ sounds like the sibling of Dire and Gonnie, and she said..’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’

by Anonymous submissions January 21, 2024

Rosé tinted glasses

A phenomenon, similar to beer goggles whereby the more glasses of rosé a female consumes, the more attractive a male may appear. This then means that a beautiful woman may lower herself to a less-than-stunning bloke, should she consume enough glasses of rosé.

'Hey bro, come look at this stunning girl giving me the eye. She's obviously looking at me through rosé tinted glasses as she hasn't even noticed that I have vomit on my sweater or that my pecker is hanging out.'

by Anonymous submissions October 30, 2016

Charles Dickcunts

The visionary pornographic director behind such adult film classics as 'A tale of two clitties,' 'David Copafeel' and 'Great expecting Asians.'

'Dude, did you catch the new Charles Dickcunts porno on Pay-per-view last night? I haven't been that hard since I watched 'The Res-erection of Christ; this time Jesus does the nailing.'

by Anonymous submissions March 1, 2017

Spastamacunted

Absolutely, unequivocally shitfaced.

Luke: ''Look at Harry- he's so spastamacunted that he's basically become a puddle; I honestly can't tell where he ends and the vomit and semen begins.''

Harry: ''Please, I'm not drunk- I've been raped and have a head injury- I need a doctor''

Luke: ''Classic Harry- always joking around, covered in jizz''

by Anonymous submissions September 24, 2018