Anonymous submissions's definitions

Discuntent

When a heterosexual male (or vaginatarian) is dissatisfied with the overall number of sexual conquests they have achieved to date i.e a down-in-the-dumps no-pumps chump

Bill: ‘Mate, can I talk to you? My discuntent keeps deteriorating so much that I’ve booked in for a penis extension’
Ted: ‘Ha!’
Bill: ‘I’m not joking, I’ve already got the appointment booked’
Ted: ‘It’s not that, I’m just surprised you think your tiny cock is the root cause of your discuntent, when it’s actually the fact that your face looks like it caught on fire and was put out with a bike chain’

by Anonymous submissions June 2, 2021

Ejacelation

To be so elated by a perceived favourable outcome in an event, no matter how mediocre, that one proceeds to ejaculate without warning in one's pants, regardless of the social situation.

Dentist: 'You were well behaved at your appointment today David, so here's a sticker'
David: (jizzes in pants)
Dentist: 'Ejacelation?'
David: 'Nope, prostate cancer.'

by Anonymous submissions January 27, 2017

Juxtapussytion

A specific style of the artistic technique of 'juxtaposition' whereby one of the contrasting images contains a vagina motif.

'The Guggenheim has an incredibly powerful Andy Warhole work on display called 'pooch in the cooch.' The juxtapussytion of putting a Doberman in a midget's vagina not only made an interesting statement on the modern existential dilemma, but also gave me a bone so hard a dog couldn't chew through it.'

by Anonymous submissions January 29, 2017

Spazzle

To dazzle an individual or crowd with one's ability to act like a complete and utter spaz.

'Geez, I really managed to spazzle my boss at the work Christmas party last night- I got so shitfaced that I tried to covertly relieve myself in a coke bottle under the dinner table. In hindsight it was pretty ambitious to think that the poo would have been able to get through the coke bottle neck..'

by Anonymous submissions December 20, 2017

Spastamacunted

Absolutely, unequivocally shitfaced.

Luke: ''Look at Harry- he's so spastamacunted that he's basically become a puddle; I honestly can't tell where he ends and the vomit and semen begins.''

Harry: ''Please, I'm not drunk- I've been raped and have a head injury- I need a doctor''

Luke: ''Classic Harry- always joking around, covered in jizz''

by Anonymous submissions September 24, 2018

cuntverted

When a woman decides to abstain from sausage and become a vaginatarian, or when a homosexual male sees the light at the end of the tunnel (pun intended) and reverts to penetrating front bums.

'So I went muff diving on my friend Karen yesterday after the Madonna concert and I have to say, it was delightful; I'm cuntverted. Now the bullies can't call me 'Johnny Johnny fat gay twat' anymore, for as of today I am 'Johnny Johnny fat heterosexual twat with fabulous dress sense''

by Anonymous submissions March 9, 2017

Frankfurter foliage

The pubic hair surrounding, and often intruding onto the male phallus.

Jane: 'Wow, Johnny, I like what you've done with your frankfurter foliage; the braids look great'
Johnny: 'Thanks Jane, I thought you'd like them. Now, if you wouldn't mind, please continue sucking and let's keep the rest of the small talk until after the vinegar strokes. I'm paying you by the hour and every time you talk I am forced to look at you and be reminded about how utterly repulsive you actually are.'

by Anonymous submissions November 13, 2016