captain's list

the short list of people with whom you would feel comfortable talking on the phone while you are dropping a deuce

My girlfriend has asked me to remove her from my captain's list.

by Ae5Ea8 April 27, 2016

alphanumeria

the feeling of confusion, panic and brain fog that sets in when trying to convert letters to numbers on a phone

trying to dial 1-800-SIR-MIX-A-LOT has given me a bad case of alphanumeria

by Ae5Ea8 May 24, 2017

douchetag

Saying or writing something marginally funny, but then making it just plain old douchey by prefacing it with a hashtag.

#realmenuseemoticons is a douchetag

by Ae5Ea8 November 19, 2015

dobro

1. a bro with dough (money)
2. a wood-bodied, single cone resonator guitar (this is a real thing)

A dobro will open a tab for his bro's while he performs on stage with his dobro.

by Ae5Ea8 September 10, 2016

foggles

Combination of "fogy" (as in a person advanced in years) and "goggles" (as in sunglasses), describing those eternally un-cool wrap-around sunglasses with side windows.

Never in fashion: Crocs, Birkenstocks, safari vests, and foggles.

by Ae5Ea8 March 17, 2015

ad-censed

Combination of Google's "Ad Sense" and "incensed" (meaning angry or irritated), describing inappropriate internet ads that you feel shouldn't be targeted at you.

Dude, wtf? Why are you getting ads for ladies jeans?

Bro. No idea. I'm simply ad-censed!

by Ae5Ea8 February 26, 2015

speed test

Similar to the speed test used to test your internet connection, but this speed test is used to determine which checkout line is moving faster. It involves a snap judgment as to (1) which checkout clerk looks the least likely to encounter a situation in which they have to call the manager, and (2) which customers are least likely to have some sort of problem at checkout.

I used the speed test at Costco and got burned when the line I changed into was actually slower than the line I moved out of.

by Ae5Ea8 April 05, 2015