Adam Phillips's definitions

hard-on

Man's most magnificently majestic manifestation of masculinity, and the one potentially most exciting to a woman. It looks like a rocket ready to be launched, and has the same turbulent thrusting force and energy.
It signals to a woman that a guy is ready and able to have sex with her and eager to do so, which, if she finds him attractive, tends to kindle her interest. For that reason, it is a serious though common mistake for a guy to be embarrassed or self-conscious when he has an erection.

Freshman year, after pulling an all-nighter, I stripped and got in bed, only to wake a half hour later with an urgent need to piss. I got up without waking enough to know I was naked, much less that I had wood, and walked down the hall to the bathroom. Only as I walked past the open door of another room down the hall and saw a woman grad student staring at me with wide eyes did I look down and see I was sporting the most giant hard-on I'd ever seen in my life. Afterwards, she kidded a male grad student we were both friends with that I had a better body than he did. He replied, "You've seen more of it than I have."

by Adam Phillips August 18, 2006

beef bazooka

The male member, seen at his most magnificent and in his full-sized glory, usually after being aroused by the sight of a beautiful female, and just before satisfying her longings, when he comes inside her and gives her the big o. Particularly appropriate when used in reference to a cock of regal grandeur and majestic dimensions, standing stiffly erect and at attention so as to proudly display every inch of his full height when he is swollen to his hugest size. Analogized to a "bazooka" both because of his shape and his ability to fire explosive blasts when he ejaculates. and described as "beef" because of his massively muscular strength.

She moaned and sobbed and groaned and shrieked with each of my pelvic thrusts I fucked her with my beef bazooka. When I came, I could feel my cock exploding like a giant stick of dynamite, and I shouted with great joy, "Oh, yeah! I fucked you!"

by Adam Phillips December 16, 2007