ALPINO's definitions

shartburn

what happens after a shart

loud gurgling greasy fart

Dude, that one's gonna burn. You'd better cleanup quick, or you're gonna get a bad case of shartburn!

tosses him a pack of baby wipes

by Alpino December 15, 2008

Eye-talian

An Italian in Montana, Wyoming, & Texas I suppose.

Do you want Eye-talian dressing on your salad?
No, I want Italian dressing on my salad, after my dinner.

by Alpino October 28, 2020

General Order Number One

A series of military general orders prohibiting alcohol, war souvenirs, pornography, pets, satellite TV, wireless internet, Blogs, fraternization with opposite sex in war zones. Sort of like WW2s Catch-22. It means you can get in trouble for just about any non-military activity. Thanks Vietnam!

"dude... look at this Hustler, cute kitten, haji pistol, bottle of JD"

"put it away you stupid fuck before we get in more trouble"

"uh, yah General Order Number One, shit!!!"

by Alpino March 29, 2010

retard chimp strong

We all know chimps are much stronger than humans, and retards are much stronger than "normal" humans... can you imagine the strength of a retarded chimp? A new level of "going apeshit"

When the police arrived and tried to cuff him, he got retard chimp strong, kicked the two pepper spraying cops asses, and ran into the night.

by Alpino May 15, 2016

center of the universe

the vagina

men might think they control the world but women possess the center of the universe

by Alpino October 28, 2008

pretty people

Someone who moves out West, usually the Northern Rockies, and wants to make it just like California or Michigan and not the U.P.! or Vermont. Liberal fucks who don't like hunting, logging or ranching. They think wolves are cute face licking puppies,,, not hamstringing demons who eat their prey alive. The use their money and lawyers like the Mafia uses pistols and knives, with the locals losing out. Drive Subarus, Saabs, Volvos.

How come we can't hunt elk on that ranch anymore?
Some pretty people bought it to raise llamas on.

Why is this bar so clean... and no more pickled eggs?
The pretty people eat their veggie burgers here now.

by Alpino January 26, 2010

x-rated photos

Also known as "kill books" . Really nasty bloody brain splattered photographs of dead Iraqis or Afghanis taken by grunts after the shooting stops. A lot of these are traded like baseball cards, and often wind up in the hands of pogues and fobbits who use them to talk shit back in the world "look how bad-ass I was"

"dude, you'd better not let the MPs searching our shit in Kuwait find your x-rated photos or you'll get an Article 15"

by Alpino March 29, 2010