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Definitions by ALPINO

Subaru - the ultimate status symbol, besides a new bong, or on their way to Cuba, Nepal, or Palestine - especially in ski or college towns. Ask any good mechanic what a POS they are, yet their owners will never admit it, but spend senseless $thousands repairing it & pretending it is "well built & reliable" Not registerable unless covered with rainbow, coexist, or "=" stickers
Better my sister in a whorehouse than my brother in a Subaru
Subaru by Alpino February 1, 2023

Artificial Brain

a smart phone, cell phone
esp for people under 40 years old
students take pics of notes or test reviews, but cannot find them amongst the thousands of selfies & texts a day
people walk off cliffs, into sewer holes, or miss the UFOs flying over, or bigfoot strolling by
one of the highest forms of narcissism OR filming illegal events
put your artificial brains away, we are taking a test
Artificial Brain by Alpino February 1, 2023
masturbation
sort of a twist on "go fuk yourself"
or

Q. "you are so good in bed... why?"
A. "I practice a lot when I'm alone"
that film was so.... I had to do a selfie driving home
selfie by Alpino January 6, 2021

Eye-talian 

An Italian in Montana, Wyoming, & Texas I suppose.
Do you want Eye-talian dressing on your salad?
No, I want Italian dressing on my salad, after my dinner.
Eye-talian by Alpino October 28, 2020

retard chimp strong 

We all know chimps are much stronger than humans, and retards are much stronger than "normal" humans... can you imagine the strength of a retarded chimp? A new level of "going apeshit"
When the police arrived and tried to cuff him, he got retard chimp strong, kicked the two pepper spraying cops asses, and ran into the night.

watch this 

Something said right before a person does something amazingly stupid.

In the military it takes a quantum leap. with high explosives, high performance aircraft and situations that will get you killed in a heartbeat.

along with "based on my experience" "I've made a decision" "trust me" and "watch this"

It reaches another level if the MFer is smiling, chuckling or laughting.
The most dangerous thing in the US Army is a warrant officer AH-64 Apache pilot chuckling and saying "watch this"
watch this by Alpino August 10, 2012

electronic ritalin 

electronic devices given to children - I-pods, cell phones, DVDs in cars, X-Box, Play Station, Nintendo, etc - to keep them quiet & busy - can range from a blessing to a curse
"Honey, did you bring the electronic ritalin? This is going to be a twelve hour drive"

"Yes the boys picked out a dozen DVDs and brought their I-Phone chargers"

"Now we can discuss every life issue in privacy and fall in love again"

"What do we do when the DVDs run out? Listen to their stories and fall in love with them again"
electronic ritalin by Alpino August 5, 2012