Definitions by 3dPulp

Shartruce 

A state of mind-bowel agreement where the the mind of the individual realizes it cannot allow a fart to occur because there is a real danger of sharting one's self.

After calculating the odd's of sharting due to the unstable state of his anus, Manny and his mind called a "shartruce" with his bowels until he could reach a comode.

Shartruce by 3dPulP November 9, 2012

Shartphone 

What a smartphone turns into as soon as it is taken into the shitter; due to the “exit deuce process” – (see “exit deuce process”)

Friend to Randy: “Randy, I got Bob on the phone here and he wants to talk to you” - hands phone to Randy

Randy: “What up Bob?”
Bob to Randy: “Did you wipe the phone before you pressed it to your face?”
Randy: “Oops, shartphone!”
Bob: “Oh man, you know Randy takes about six craps a day, you have shartface now!” (see “shartface”)

Shartphone by 3dPulP November 4, 2012

Shartface 

The state of one’s face after poop particles are transferred from a shartphone to the ear and cheek. SHARTFACE!

Using anyone's shartphone without wiping it down first. SHARTFACE!

Shartface by 3dPulp November 4, 2012

Doody Fingers 

Fingers that graze shit when one wipes his or her ass.

Wipe, wipe, graze, graze.....doody fingers.

Doody Fingers by 3dPulp November 4, 2012

nadical

Of, or relating to the nads.

The distance between the shaft of the penis and bottom of the scrotum in elderly gentlemen. Commonly referred to as a "nadical mile".

My wife won't play with my balls anymore, boy is she a nadical nazi.

There was a naked old dude in the YMCA locker room last night, he definitely had a nadical mile....

nadical by 3dPulP March 5, 2010

omnipungent 

An odor created from an especially foul anal gas that seems to spread and linger everywhere once released. Typically causes causes others to flee in disgust, usually finding no refuge from the powerful entity.

Ralph dropped an omnipungent ass nuke yeterday that caused a 20 minute evacuation of the cubical farm. Even when we came back you could still taste the leftovers of his atomized feces.

omnipungent by 3dPulP March 5, 2010

proctospazm 

A cramp in the sphincter ranging from a light pucker to a full on chute constriction.

A feared person who causes your sphincter to pucker.

A tight wad.

All that diarhhea made my anus cramp, man what a bad proctospazm.

Every time I see that proctospazm it makes me nervous.

That dude didn't pay his share, what a proctospazm.

proctospazm by 3dPulP March 4, 2010