Skip to main content

..wil's definitions

Bender

1. A long prelongued bout of alchoholic self punishment.

2. A pretty innoffensive Brit slang word for a poof.

3. A character on the TV show Futurama.
1. Fuck you all, Im off on a bender.

2. Are you really a bender?

3. KILL ALL HUMANS!
by ..WiL July 15, 2008
mugGet the Bender mug.

Beer bruises

Mystery bruises caused by a night out with the beer monster, which you have NO MEMORY AT ALL of obtaining.

Particularly impressive when found on the face, possibly from calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone.
Ouch, what the hell was I doing last night!? And where am I? And why is there diced carrot in my hair!?
by ..WiL May 24, 2005
mugGet the Beer bruises mug.

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.
BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc
by ..WiL May 24, 2005
mugGet the Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone mug.

Beer Monster

1. A guy who drinks lots and falls over every available free moment.

2. The evil monster that visits you when you have been on a bender and steals all your money, sends bizarre text messages and offensive e-mails to all your friends, makes all your clothes smell funny, hides your underwear, messes up your house, and then shits in your mouth before leaving.
Also wipes all your memory of the previous night.

By either definition, he's a cunt and you spend all your time apologising for him.
1. I have never seen Rob sober, the guy's a complete Beer Monster.

2. I need to go into town, the Beer Monster stole all my money, <vomits>, maybe later...
by ..WiL May 24, 2005
mugGet the Beer Monster mug.

Walks like Wilma

A phrase for taking the piss out of excessively effeminate men, inspired by the oddly camp way Wilma and Betty walk on the TV cartoon show The Flintstones.
He thinks hes STRAIGHT ACTING!! Jeez louise, he Walks Like Wilma!
by ..WiL May 19, 2005
mugGet the Walks like Wilma mug.

Car Crash Post

Any internet post presented as fact which is then shot down in flames by everyone else on the board, much like Car Crash TV, it's painful to look at, but also quite compelling.
That post where that guy thought he'd invented the phrase 'car crash tv' only to have half the board prove him wrong was a proper car crash post!
by ..wil February 24, 2009
mugGet the Car Crash Post mug.

Self-Fulfilling Twat

A twat who claims he's only behaving like a twat in defence of the fact that other people keep calling him a twat behind his back.

Similar to a self-fulfilling prophecy but more personal, and often used as a defense mechanism, usually by men to avoid ever having to engage with anyone emotionally, or say sorry.

Their phrase of choice should you ask them why they're behaving like a twat is of course: 'Are you calling me a twat then!?' and then centre all their twatness upon you as you obviously must be the source of why everyone thinks they're a twat, and are no longer inviting them to any more social events.
I can't be bothered to try and make sense of the man anymore, he just seems to be a self-fulfilling twat.
by ..WiL June 11, 2007
mugGet the Self-Fulfilling Twat mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email