wild penis 

A wild penis is a crazyass penis that has contracted so many lethal venereal diseases from such frequent, intense, puke-evoking wanking and/or intercourse that it has miraculously grown its own functioning DNA and come to life. One can find wild penes almost anywhere they can find any animal, but they are often identified by the kind of environment they live in (ex. common house penes, saltwater penes, woodland penes, prairie penes, etc.). When a penis goes wild, each component of it resembles a vital physical function on/in a large-scale mammal. For instance, its testicles become its feet, its foreskin becomes its head, its urethral opening becomes its mouth, parts of its epididymis become its arms and paws, and maybe its pearly penile papules become its eyes-I honestly know very little to nothing about biology and everything else. Defenses: They piss on anything/anyone they dislike and threatening houses. They cumblast their natural predators, vulvae, to poison them and/or drive them away. This definition is rational as fuck! As proof, among many other places, wild penes abound in Chimi Lhakhang, Bhutan.

Idiot 1: It's just a penis. It doesn't have stingers, teeth or claws. It's completely harmless! So why the fuck are you panicking so much?!?!
Idiot 2: This was no ordinary penis, man. It could walk and breath, even though it was disembodied!
Idiot 1: No, it can't be. They went extinct more than ten millennia ago!

Idiot 2: I don't know what the motherfuck you're saying!!!
Idiot 1: I'm saying you'd better kill yourself, Idiot 2! It's the only way to avoid the misery that will befall civilization with the invasion of the wild penis.

wild penis by E idiots dei March 22, 2020