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Masturbating. After James Buchanan, Jr., America's only bachelor president.
Mom to College Age Son Still Living at Home: "Son, are you supporting Obama or McCain?"
Son: "Neither, Mama. I'm voting for Buchanan this year. Like last year, and next year."
Mom: "Oh honey, you're so well informed!"
Son: "Well, I'm going up to my room. Don't call me for dinner, either."
Mom: "Perhaps I'll be voting for Buchanan, too!"
Son: "Whatever."
by Jack Mehoff, II July 16, 2008
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