The dude puts chap stick up the librarian's vagina and plays it like a trombone until his lips become unchapped.
Librarian Cari- Do you still have those cold-sores?
Al- Yea, they hurt really bad.
Cari- OK, just come with me and I'll give you some of my Ol' Tuba Lips.
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. Penguin Books,1992. p. 38)