Waiter (to friend): "Oh, look. It's that tourist again, back from the bathroom. It's so painful to hear him speak."

Mexican Tourist:"Can has glass water, your welcome."

Waiter:"If you're having trouble, I speak Spanish too."

Mexican Tourist:"No need for me, bilingual."

Waiter (to himself):"More like trylingual."

Rachel: whats up?
Tessa: not to much! hbu?
Tessa: dude, i'm so bored.
Rachel: stop double texting me.