Damn, I can't wait until JazzFest is over, I can't even get into my local pub 'cause of those damn Tourorists!

phone: why don’t you go to sleep tommy it’s 2 in the morning?
tommy:why don’t you die you dumbazz

Tourorist reveals her favorite ways to tourorize:
1. Tourist: Pardon me, ma'am, but can you please tell me where the Empire State Building is?
Tourorist: Didn't you hear? The terrorists got that one too. It was all over the news.
2. Tourist: Excuse me, which way is it to 34th St?
Tourorist: It's after 34th Avenue. Just keep going west.
3. Tourist: Ooh, look, a squirrel! C'mon kids, smile! (Tourorist mugs with tongue out, e.g., while passing.) ... Hey! Look at that young lady! New Yorkers are, like, sooo weird. That gal must be a tourorist...
Tourorist: Dude, I, like, totally like to tourorize!