tool army 

The fan club for the band Tool (which is probably by far the greatest band i've ever listened to).

"Are you a member of the Tool Army?? WE WANT YOU!"

tool army by benanner April 18, 2007

Tool Army 

A fan club for the band "Tool". The Tool Army is a hilarious money making scheme, which the "Tools" don't understand. These individuals walk around in shirts that say "Tool" in large letters, failing to understand Maynard's love/hate affair with consumer culture.

The Tool Army costs 30$ or more and the buyer gets "keychains and certificates" and still gets mad when they take a long time to come in the mail.

Tool is an amazing band. It has retarded fans.

"hey man, I joined the tool army!" - Idiot 1

"Haha, you Tool. You probably actually like Puscifer too, don't you?" - Me, Smart guy.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, even Maynard says it is shit and for people who don't think. Enjoy."

Tool Army by BenZe November 12, 2012

Army tool 

ARMY TOOLS 101:
This label should apply to those who become institutionalized by the military. The long-term, or 'career' soldiers are generally those who have no direction in life and would otherwise FAIL in the REAL WORLD, so they join the military for a steady paycheck and/or structure/guidance in their lives, which the military provides through various courses, manuals, and mundane speeches, WHICH said ARMY TOOLS memorize bits and pieces of, for their own future speeches and spot corrections. Once these soldiers become NCO's, they generally do not have a clear understanding of their responsibilities nor how to act like DECENT human beings, so they revert to exerting their newly acquired power by less than decent means.

These soldiers can be found in administrative type jobs, where petty office politics prevail. The TOOL can be found driving his vehicle around post in search of lesser-ranking soldiers that they can 'correct' in proper wear of uniform, thus making the TOOL feel like he is "meeting the needs of the army and national defense". Another way to spot an ARMY TOOL is to listen for those who complain by 'legitimizing' their particular gripe by comparing it to an army regulation INFRACTION.

Army tool

Army tool by terminalsoup January 8, 2010

Army tool 

Someone Who has been homeschooled all their life. When the time come for them to apply for college, they have no guidance counselors, and every school they apply for requires painfull, unreasonable measures for those homeschoolers applying. Thus making the only option for the homeschooler to get an education is to join the military. Making them an "Army Tool".

Homeschooler: Dude this Sucks, I can't find a college that'll accept me.
Friend 1: Why?
Homeschooler: Cus I'm F***in Homeschooled! Now I have no choice but to join the Army.
Freind 1: Dude life Sucks for Jake.
Freind 2: Why?
Freind 1: He can't get into college cus he's Homeschooled.
Freind 2: Damn that Sucks. What an Army Tool.

Army tool by mm08 February 7, 2008