tech suckport

English inproficient people, most of who are from China and India, that you must call when you are experiencing errors that make a software product unusable. If you can get a person that can speak some slight resemblance of the English language, consider yourself very lucky. Even then 99% percent of the time they will not be of any help whatsoever, and cause further confusion and even more errors.

Bob: This program is not working. Why don't I call Tech Support?
Joe: You mean Tech Suckport.
Bob: Yes
(Bob picks up the phone and dials the number for Tech Suckport)

Tech Suckport: Yellow. Meecrosof Tack Supaut. Ho ceen I hail yu?
Bob: Hello, I'm having this problem with source control in VSS 2005.
Tech Suckport: Wayt? Ee cent har ya?
Bob: Do you know how to speak Engllsh?
Tech Suckport: Ee don eendursta yo? Yo ned tack lauder.
Bob: I said DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH?
Tech Suckport: Aa. Ingle. I spek vahy god Ingle.
Bob: OK, can you please help me with my problem?
Tech Suckport: Yue prubleeme? Wat prubleeme ees. Plece tai me mah detuh. Ees prubleeme fatulleruh?
Bob: My problem is with Visual Source Safe. Yes it's a fatal error.
Tech Suckport: Oh Visah Sauce Saf. I don no no Sauce Saf. Eys nat mee specsalty. I well geetcowolka huno Sauch Saf.
Bob: Can your coworker speak English?
Tech Suckport: Oh yays. He takeen Eeassellcaws een skull. He leerning god Anglees een Eeassellcaws. I git hem no.
Bob: Never mind. It's hopeless.
Tech Suckport: No eederstend yu senteez. Pless repit.
(Bob slams down the phone)

tech suckport by Boxcar Bob August 2, 2007

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Gayborhood

N. A neighborhood containing homes, clubs, bars, restaurants, and other places of business and entertainment that cater to homosexuals.

"They've opened up a new club in the Gayborhood called the Male Box."

Gayborhood by Mia Shields January 6, 2006

Word of the Day on July 14, 2026

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Related Words

tech suckport • Tech • Tech N9ne • tech support • tech guy • tech week • Tech Crew • Tech-decking • tech gals • Tech Girls

kenlet

A small piece of information. Derived from the word ken, used often in the scottish language and is synonymous with knowledge.

Person 1: "Hey I don't get this shit. How do you solve this problem?"
Person 2: "I got that one. Give me some kenlets on this assignment and I'll help you w/ that one."

kenlet by Norma Y. October 8, 2005

Word of the Day on July 13, 2026

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I mean I guess bro

a word of expression to when you give up on comprehending someone's words of ignorance, stupidity, absurdity or are too exhausted to formulate a proper response.

Commonly seen in TikTok comment sections in replies to lazy attempts at humor, overconfidentally incorrect statement, or an over-the-top comment or when someone completely misses the mark on something.

"actually... incorrect statement, hope this helps!"
"I mean I guess bro"

I mean I guess bro by clydedrewblood June 24, 2026

Word of the Day on July 12, 2026

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abandonware

n. software that is no longer sold or supported by the original publisher / developer, often found as free downloads on the internet because it cannot be obtained elsewhere. Not legal, but often seen as morally acceptable because the company that made it is no longer selling the title, nor releasing it as freeware, therefore abandonware is "keeping the game alive", so to speak.

Doom II is not abandonware because id still sells it, while The Incredible Machine is not sold, therefore is abandonware.

abandonware by Spoom October 24, 2003

Word of the Day on July 11, 2026

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Foot prisons

Socks. Annoying, sweat-causing, non-barefoot enducing, everyday socks.

The first thing I do when I take off my shoes, is rip off the foot prisons I had to wear inside them. That's why I prefer flip flops, even in winter!

Foot prisons by Jackalope Hunter December 13, 2022

Word of the Day on July 10, 2026

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cornholio

Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.

"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).

cornholio by AYB July 20, 2003

Word of the Day on July 9, 2026

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